How have I fucked this up?

[breakfastinbread]

DS (now 9m) started blissfully sleeping through at about 6m old. Not every night, but enough to actually start enjoying maternity leave! Until 8m all was good, bed at 6:30/7pm and would wake at 6am, maybe with the odd intervention to help him find his dummy in the night. In his own room from 5m and stopped feeding in the night at 6/7months.

From 8m things have become hell again. EVERY night he has a screaming fit that lasts 2.5-3hrs. Sometimes it starts (like last night) at 11pm, some nights as late as 3/3:30am. Whilst he was teething and had a cold, I just sucked this up, gave calpol and cuddles, and assumed things would improve again when he got better.

Now, NOTHING seems to work and I wonder what I've done to fuck up a child that slept through? Did I let him get into bad habits when he was poorly? (I know this sounds stupid, how could you NOT give cuddles?) His screaming only stops like clockwork 2.5hrs from when it started, when I suppose he has exhausted himself.

Things I have tried (FWIW I try not to chop and change, but try the same thing for a few nights in a row):

1. Rocking to sleep - just tries to pull my hair and play. Worked once.
2. Offering milk - occasionally works, but often won't sleep again for the magical 2.5hrs afterwards. Am also reluctant to re-start the habit of night feeds since he gave them up a while ago.
3. Shhh-pat - will settle while I am in the room, but will scream again when I walk out. Repeat ad nauseum. (used to work beautifully when he was smaller!)
4. Sleeping in room with him - often results in even less sleep for both of us as he just wants to play.
5. White noise (for him)
6. Ear plugs (for me)

I get that this probably has its root in separation anxiety, but as I am back to work soon, I was hoping that someone could share a strategy to help? If it's just a phase, I hope it's over pretty soon!

Don't know what to say other than my 9mo's sleep went to pot at 8mo. Except it was shit to start with
Apparently there's an 8-10mo sleep regression. Plus the start of seperation anxiety like you say. DS2 got 4 teeth in three weeks so some of it must be that too.
You have my sympathy (but not too much, as you had a good run of sleeping through which I haven't had... )

Thanks. .How old is your DS now, and when did the regression call to a halt? I know I've been lucky, but it's like a taste of forbidden fruit - I know he can do it, so it's pretty frustrating!

though at 8-10m sleep regression. Haven't heard of this one.

He's just over 9mo and am starting sleep training tonight as its so bad. Nothing works that used to. I'll feed to sleep at bedtime but when I try to transfer to cot he wakes. Every. Bloody. Time. All evening long. Won't let us rock/bounce to sleep either he's only happy asleep on me.

Nighttime aren't too bad, he comes into our bed around midnight then will often sleep through til 4/5am, feed, then sleep til 6ish. Other nights hell stir hourly and suckle all night.

It's just bedtime that's the real mess at the moment. I need my evenings back!!!

Oh dear, you do have my sympathies! That sounds truly dire. What method of sleep training are you going for?

On my side, put DS to bed as usual at 6:30 tonight, and he has stopped screaming now at 9pm on the dot. I tried all I could think of for the first 1.5hrs, but am ashamed to say I've left him to cry (with check ups every 10/15mins) since then because I don't know what else to do.

DH is working late and I am going to bed soon not touched the wine, not me.