You know you don't have a natural born sleeper when.....

[Missingcaffeine]

Just for fun - as if you're on this page you are probably having problems getting your little ones to sleep. So I'll start:

You know you don't have a natural born sleeper when.....

Very occasionally you wake before your baby, and panic and rush into their room to check they are still alive

You realise your friend with a newborn is getting more sleep than you despite your baby being 10 months

Your friends babies (the same age as yours) have sleep regressions and are still getting more sleep than you

You have a mild addiction to baby sleep forums - just knowing there are others as sleep deprived as you makes it all seem so much better

You literally can't get through a day without sugar, and lots of it

Your main reason for wanting to give up breastfeeding is so that you can up your caffeine intake to required levels

I love these OP, cheered me right up I had a terrible night last night.

Mine would be counting down the time to nap time so I can have a nap myself.

And, never knowing when my baby's in a sleep regression as her sleep is always appalling.

You hear people complaining about their dreadful night and find yourself wanting to scream that you've not had a night that good for at least six months.

Moving baby to their own room is the last thing you would do - why would you want to get out of bed and walk somewhere every hour through the night?

There are often nights where you and DH fall asleep before the baby.

Helloooooo nice one OP. I just came on to add 'blughggg ugg uggg'

• u know when you are sleep deprived because:

1. No matter that it's dark outside - you can tell what time it is as you have so often been awake at midnight (revellers) and dawn chorus, total silence of 2am: the nights are soooo long
2. You are aware of when a 'suspicious' van is driving around the streets - wrong time of night. Again because u r awake. You almost have to get up to check the number plate because you assume a neighbourhood night watchman responsibility.
3. You put off making a decision about anything until 'I've had a few hours sleep' so no decisions are ever made - not even small ones
4. If you suddenly get a few hours sleep you are so convinced you've cracked it that you book numerous appointments - which u have to cancel/regret later.

My tongue is thick from sleep deprivation. DC is 8.5 months.

Jess, Trilby, Newquay - so true!
Newquay - I am so guilty of 3 and 4!!

I've got another one:

Baby's Grandma, who suffers with insomnia, offers to give you a rest for the night when you're on a family holiday, but comes to get you to take over at 4am as she desperately needs to sleep!

Newquay - at least you only made some appointments. When DC1 started sleeping through (at 12 months) I was so sure I'd cracked it that I went and got pregnant with DC2! Then he regressed...

Ahhhh both - your posts made me smile but shudder with absolute sympathy. I've just been out for a bacon bap in a cafe now back to bed. I love nursery days (dc1 in for the day). Take it easy all -it's only a phase it's only a phase it's only s phase!!!!! Xxx

Just to add I NEVER go out for breakfast treats etc - but the plus side of sleep deprivation today has made me completely self righteous bugger this for a laugh I'm out! Attitood! I recommend it :) x

You tell everyone that they are finally sleeping through and they all reply 'well by 4 I would jolly well hope they would be.'

You go to bed before your 10yr old because you can't be an owl to the oldest one and a lark to the younger ones at the same time.

The nursery tells you that you were right and they were wrong, some 9 month olds don't need a nap in the middle of the day.

It does get better, eventually you can trust them to look after themselves while you have a nap.

you know you don't have a natural born sleeper when...

you leave online shopping til night time as you want to have something to do... then fall asleep anyway

you have liked various embarrassing posts from fb stalking whilst half asleep

your sleep position is now: neck cranked to one side, half propped up by pillows with a blissfully unaware baby sleeping on you!

i do ALL of these! especially counting down to nap time and using sugar to get through the day!! Also...

looking at the foam squishy floor mats at baby groups and wondering if anyone would notice you having a quick kip

talking to friend with a newborn AND a toddler and realise she's getting more sleep than you

i had to tell dh to stop telling me he's tired. He works long hours and does lots with ds but he goes to bed at night time and wakes up in the morning, so im out of sympathy!

you just give up talking to anyone about sleep, ever.

Someone mentions "naptime" and you give a hollow laugh.

Someone asks when you last had a decent night's sleep and you reply "four years ago."

You play the 'who's had the worst night game' with your husband every morning and become very adept at downplaying the hour or so you have had, just in case he's had less. I'm pretty certain I once said 'if you have the energy for this conversation, you clearly had more sleep than I did...'

should have read this before doing my own post

Hi, I'm clunky and I have a sleep hating sleep theif.

you know you don't have a natural sleeper when drinking coffee isn't quick enough and you set up and intravenous drip.

When you pray/ wish/ dream of the day you get a "lie in" until 6am!

When you want to punch anyone who says "I'm so tired - only got 6 hours sleep last night" or similar.

When 10.00 is a late night.

4am start to the day this morning, yawn!

Ha, yes I'd fucking kill for a chunk of 6 hours sleep! Even 3 or 4 hours in 1 go would make me feel like a half new woman

..... When your top two google searches are 'Is it possible to actually die from sleep deprivation?' And 'luxury hotel rooms for one' (I can only hope!).

That and feeling jealous of retired people due to all the time they must have to sleep if they want!