Routine...is it worth it

[purplebiro]

I am a first time mum and my baby is a healthy, happy and delightful 7 week old. I am on maternity leave until January and partner is working full time. Last week we started to implement a night time routine that constitutes 6.30pm - 7.30pm (after parnet gets home from work) - dad fun time, 7.30pm - 8.30pm - bed time (bath, feed, story). She's taken to it fairly well and she's generally getting to sleep under her own steam by 9.00pm, waking for a feed some time between 1.30am and 2.30am and another one at around 4.30am - 5.30am (she rarely goes to sleep after that feed but will stay in bed until around 6am when parnter takens her downstairs so I can have a bit of sleep before he leaves for work. So all in all I think it's going well...except...I don't like it!

I resent the fact that the first part of our evening is entirely dominated by getting her into bed and that that only "buys" us 1.5 - 2 hours of adult time once she is - it doesn't seem like a very reasonably swap. I am aware that sounds a little brattish but that's how it is. In all honesty I'd rather have her awake and with us until later and not have "pure" adult time than lose the first three hours of the evening like this. There's also this issue of the reduction in spontaneity - I am at home alone a lot of the day and I want to be able to go out in the evening with my partner and the baby while she's still young and I can so we can socialise together and having a routine that we stick to come what may (and I gather that if we want to establish this well we have to be consistent)...

So all of this adds up to me wondering why we're doing the routine anyway?! I thought it was so that I had some predictable structure to my day (on the basis that a daytime routine would follow on not long after a night time one) - I'm the sort of person who likes routine - but now I feel like I don't really know why I'm doing this now and wonder whether we should just go back to what we did when she was newborn (take her to bed in moses basket with us, which also meant she slept until 5am-ish without break, meaning I was only up once in a night).

Has anyone faced anything like this and what did you decide or does anyone have any compelling reasons why I should or shouldn't throw in the towel (at least for now).

[worldsworstmum2015]

I'm a big fan of routine I've always stuck to a bedtime routine from early on and all my children slept through from early on. I'd say stick with it she's still very young but as she gets older the routine of putting her to bed will get quicker. There's nothing wrong with occasionally breaking the routine to go out either just adapt your routine to suit so do pj's feed etc as you normally would but put her sleep in the pram or car seat til you go home then transfer into cot

[Thurlow]

Definitely depends on the baby. Many 7 week olds will like a 'routine' - but many won't too. If it's not suiting you there's absolutely no reason to keep trying it as this age.

Though I do agree with maybe trying a week or so of a much shorter bedtime, just a feed and a settle to see if she will take to that, so you're not losing too much of the evening.

A lot of babies also do like sleeping somewhere dark and quiet and don't take well to sleeping deeply in the living room, even with dim lights and low TV. Then it's up to you to decide whether you're happy putting them down on their own for an hour or two before one of you goes to bed.

[purplebiro]

So, interestingly, she's fallen asleep at the "routine" time in my arms without downstairs with the telly and lights on - have put her in the moses basket down here and she shows no sign of stirring. So now I'm thinking I'll bring her up to bed with us and wake her about 11-12 for a change into pjs and feed and hope that will carry her through to 4-5ish...sound like a plan?

[worldsworstmum2015]

Do whatever you feel is best there's no right or wrong as every baby is different trust your own instincts