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Sleep

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Original poster

Settling a very young baby.

18 replies

PrettyCandles · 19/11/2006 22:35

OK, this is my third child, I should know how to do this by now - but...

How do you settle a 1 month old to sleep?

He's still in bed with us but we want to put him in his cot. Trouble is, because we strugglt to settle him I keep letting him 'dummy' on my boob to get him to sleep in the night - saggy as my boobs are, they won't quite stretch as far as the cot.

The dummy's a disaster as he doesn't sleep deeply with it - plus we don't want to get into the situation we were in with dd (she slept well enough with the dummy but woke us up repeatedly to put it back in her mouth).

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brimfull · 19/11/2006 22:36

lol at you norks reaching the cot.

Have you tried swaddling ,worked for my two.

bramblina · 19/11/2006 22:52

We never had a problem settling ds and I believe it is because we swaddled him too. Well I say we, I mean I. Dh would try but within 6 seconds you would guarantee a little arm poking out. Either ds is houdini or dh just can't do it. (Latter methinks).

Norks, hmm, cot is quite a distance but their own room across the hall will be even worse...

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 19/11/2006 22:58

What do you do with them once they're swaddled?

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brimfull · 20/11/2006 13:30

put them to bed,put a blanket over tucked in tightly so they can't move and walk away.
Hope it works.
I used to use white noise aswell if they were fractious.

taylormama · 20/11/2006 15:23

i would go for a swaddle and lay him in his cot drowsy but still awake - if you don't want to use a dummy i found stroking my DS between his eyes and down his nose worked a treat - his eyes would start to go really quickly. Also loud shushing if they are really cross works (hold baby against your chest so your mouth is near his ear and kind of do it in a long drawn out sound) ... apparently reminds them of being in the womb ....

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 21/11/2006 12:24

I've never come across anyone else who does the stroking between the eyes thing! I do the shushing (and buzzing is also good) with his head tucked into my neck.

Trouble is, it's not working! Yesterday evening he screamed for 30min in my arms, giving himself wind in the process, before he started nodding off in sheer exhaustion. But he kept waking and crying and nodding off and waking. Fortunately dh came home 20m later and took ds2 off me, as I was starting to really stress over it.

I tried the 'walk away' with dd and it was awful. She screamed and screamed just like ds2 last night, and would barely get any nap before she needed tofeed again. After two months of this (from about 1m to about 3m) I gave up and just carried her all the time for the next few months. I don't think I can bear to put ds2 through that - not to mention myself and the other LOs.

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JackieNo · 21/11/2006 12:29

I'd second the putting him in his cot drowsy but still awake - I'd potter around vaguely in the bedroom humming to myself, and gently doing a bit of tidying up, with the lights dimmed, then leave quietly, so it wasn't just put them in, say goodnight, and go (although once they were older, that was pretty much how it went).

taylormama · 21/11/2006 15:00

pretty - the stroking between the eyes is good ... altho' sorry it isn't working for you. You say he is screaming a lot - my DS was like this until i discovered he had reflux. Don't want to alarm you but could there be an underlying issue which makes it uncomfortable for him to lay down. When i BF my DS he would feed and feed for the comfort ... just a thought ...

Notyummy · 21/11/2006 15:20

Ditto on the swaddling (miracle blanket from Mothercare worked v well for us). We would then lay over shoulder, rub back rhthmically, then move to slow gentle patting whilst moving towards the cot and then lay down and continue patting lightly on the shoulder or tummy before stopping completely. I know they are all so different, but this used to help our dd when tiny. She is now in a grobag and will send herself off happliy if put down drowsy, so this technique didn't appear to backfire into a baby that can't sleep on her own. Good luck.

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 21/11/2006 17:59

I don't think it's reflux. He doesn't arch or appear distressed when feeding, doesn't vomit excessively (possets plenty!), and is often perfectly contented on his back.

He seems to go from awake to over-tired in the blink of an eye, skipping over the drowsy stage entirely. He's my third, so I know about keeping an eye out for whn he starts getting tired and the signs of tiredness, but I just can't settle him.

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Original poster

PrettyCandles · 22/11/2006 08:59

Managed to get him down after the night feed last night by swaddling him very securely and turning my back on him so that we were sleeping back-to-back. Took two goes as he escaped from the first swaddle - and let a rasping burp go when I picked him up to reswaddled him - and I had to brace myself to ignore all the conversation, wriggling and complaints, but at least he didn't cry. I shall try the same for daytime naps. Perhaps my swaddling wasn't secure enough earlier, and perhaps having something against his back helped.

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taylormama · 22/11/2006 10:07

pretty - i used to swaddle my DS pretty securely so he looked like a sausage .... the tighter the swaddle the more secure he seemed to feel. Hope tonight goes well too. xxx

Notyummy · 22/11/2006 13:52

We finally gave up swaddling at 16 weeks when she managed to wriggle her arms free despite ferocious swaddling from dh. She had really discovered the joy of hand sucking by then and that was the spur that moved her into her grobag fulltime. Now if she wakes she will quite often self sooth back to sleep by sucking her hand. Tight swaddle really sems to work tho (but my friends baby HATED it and screamed the place down....each to their own I guess!)

hayles78 · 22/11/2006 14:12

I like the idea of the miracle blanket at Mothercare as my dd wont go down on her own to sleep and wakes on transfer (has pretty much been stuck to me since birth because of this)but she is now 8 weeks. Is it too late to start? I tried with normal blankets but she always got her arms out and seemed to want to although i accept i prob wasnt doing it right. what do you think???

Notyummy · 22/11/2006 15:40

If she was ok when swaddling with a normal blanket (i.e didn't scream etc) then the miracle blanket may be the answer. Once you get used to the technique (which is easier said than done the first few times) it really seems to work. We used to put dd in her sleeping bag from 7 til 10pm, then feed her again and change the nappy before swaddling; this was the cue for her 'big sleep' and she used to sigh and smile while being wrapped up and would drop off on her own in the cot after being swaddled.

Gemmitygem · 23/11/2006 07:42

prettycandles, I also do the stroking between the eyes thing, as it seems to work.

here below my pearls of wisdom based on the last 6 weeks:

I swaddle my little one quite tightly (was doing it even over his head/forehead but now stopped), and do it in a big triangular cotton sheet so he can't get out. Then settle him after his big 'supper' feed and a burp, sometimes give a little 'breast reminder' in the dark by his cot, wait till he comes off and then hold him for a short time (less than a minute probably). then if he's reasonably peaceful put him very gently in the cot, tuck in tight and keep my arm behind him, then slide it away. If he's a tiny bit restless do the stroking head thing.

One thing I've learned is there's no point putting him down if he's groaning or crying, otherwise it just escalates.
Then I walk away and usually he will start to whinge a bit within 5 minutes, I wait, and usually stops after about 5 minutes. If he gets really upset and cries properly I would repeat the process above (but only pick him up if he's going ballistic)...

anyway best of luck, but must say the swaddling works for me..

Original poster

PrettyCandles · 23/11/2006 08:58

I didn't want to move ds2 out of our bed and into his cot until I was able to settle him, but now I begin to wonder whether he'd settle better in his cot. Perhaps being so close to me is more torment (wanting my boob) than comfort.

Last night did not work well, settling-wise.

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Gemmitygem · 23/11/2006 09:55

Perhaps he would settle better in the cot? I've taken DS in with me once or twice when I've felt sorry for him, but I reckon he just associates me with milk, and so starts waking and rooting when he's close to my chest (cos associates it with feeding), and as you say is torment (for both him and you, trying to sleep!

I try and make him feel as cosseted as possible in the cot, e.g. tightly tucked in, rolled towel in a circle round his head (not blocking his face/nose! dunno, could be worth a try.

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