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Original poster

Do baby listening monitors cause sleep problems?

41 replies

mears · 24/04/2002 11:48

I have noticed that a number of friends who use baby monitors have babies who sleep poorly. I think one of the reasons for that is the minute they hear the baby waking in another room they attend to them immediately.
I am not talking about newborn babies - they were with us in the bedroom till about a year. During the day when they were older I would put them in the cot for morning and afternoon naps.
I never used a monitor with any of my children because I could hear them crying when they were fully awake.
I think that babies often half waken and then go back to sleep after a rumble around - I have stood outside a room and listened to grumblings that have ended in slumber again.
We had friends staying recently who immediately went and lifted their year old baby the minute they heard stirrings going on via the monitor. The baby was invariably crabbit and grisley for about an hour after getting up. I felt he should have been left a bit longer but kept my opinion to myself.
What does anyone else think about baby listening monitors?

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Tillysmummy · 24/04/2002 11:59

I think you're right and must admit to probably going to check on dd far too quickly if she cries whereas if I left her for 5 minutes she may go off again. I also think they can make you paranoid.Useful if you're in the garden I guess but that's about it.

MalmoMum · 24/04/2002 12:19

I had no prob hearing ds in our 1930s semi. If you put a baby in the attic of an old, 3 storey house you might not be alerted so easily.

However, for the most part I think getting one sets off a self fulfilling prophesy. People actively listen to them when they have a new baby and, for those I have seen, it makes people jumpy. My mother was going to refuse to babysit unless we got one. In the end, she was even more happy having little trips off to see that he was alright and getting another chance to look at her grandson.

I thought maternal hormones increased the hearing reflex and decreased it in fathers.

Azzie · 24/04/2002 12:35

We used a monitor with both of ours, and both have always slept fine. The advantage for us of having the monitor was that we could ignore any non-serious sounds - without the monitor we found we had to go halfway up the stairs to check what any half-heard noise was.

Paula1 · 24/04/2002 13:45

Malmomum, your last comment is so true - does it have fact behind it or just feeling? I think I'm guilty of overusing the baby monitor and having created a nearly 4yo with terrible sleeping habits (probably not just because of the baby monitor, also because of being 1st time mum and DH's brother had a baby who died of cot death.)

jasper · 24/04/2002 13:50

mears your use of the word "crabbit" locates you firmly in the heart of Scotland!
I am with you on this one. I HATE the idea of a baby monitor, being of the opinion that any minor noise should be ignored and serious ones will be heard unless you have a huge house. A friend who hs a horse found a monitor useful - she used to ride her horse in the paddock with the monitor in her pocket.
I go one stage further than not having a monitor - I sleep ( baby in same room) with earplugs in to filter out the minor whimpers. Send round the social workers...

pupuce · 24/04/2002 16:13

I am also one who hates those. I received one when DS was 1 week old.. used it and I became completely stressed out -staring at it all the time.... this may just be me but I became irritable, etc
I now never use it even when I stay at my mum where baby's room is far from other main rooms... I just walk up at sertain intervals and baby is never crying anyway.

Since then I "enjoy" looking at friends who stay with us and have their monitors on... You can hear everything in my house but they STILL want to use it ! One couple had the nerve to put it next to their plate during dinner (baby was 11 months old for God sake!)...

At Christmas my FIL got mad at my BIL and told him to TURN IT OFF as we could all hear his son cry (without the monitor) we didn't need it in stereo ! They were shoked but we were all far more relaxed.

Tillysmummy · 24/04/2002 16:15

What about those Johson ones that show you lights when the baby is breathing and sound an alarm if they're not. Now that's enough to make any mother paranoid !

SueDonim · 24/04/2002 16:19

I've never had a monitor, as I wasn't really sure what I'd use it for. Our babies have all been kept close by us in a pram and have slept in our rooms. And we've mostly lived in modern boxes where you can hear a flea f*rt, no problem!

Tillysmummy · 24/04/2002 16:22

Don't you think babies should have parent monitors so they can hear us and therefore get comfor ?!

pupuce · 24/04/2002 16:22

I agree with you Tillysmummy.... I have a friend who has one of those... I just think if for any reason that poor baby stops breathing and they don't hear the alarm - what will they think ????

Tillysmummy · 24/04/2002 16:24

We bought one and then took it back before the baby was born. Decided it was too stressful - SO glad we did !

MalmoMum · 24/04/2002 18:15

I've noticed that Second Hand children's shops always have at least one of those movement sensitive ones which says it all for me. There is also the one that plugs into your tv and you can watch your baby. Hours of relaxation in your own living room!

Horse · 24/04/2002 19:40

We bought, and still use, a baby monitor that lights up and has a sensor pad under the mattress so that if baby stops breathing for 20 seconds the alarm goes off. The reason we bought it was because dd has always slept on her stomach. DD slept in our room until she was 2 months old. Due to DP's snoring and her own capacity for noise we put her in her own room but felt that in order to feel assured we should use this all singing, all dancing baby monitor (the literature that comes with the monitor more or less states that the manufacturer cannot be sued if a baby dies while using it). I turn the volume right down as the interference drives me crazy but the lights shed enough light on the clock next to my bed so I can see the time.

pamina · 24/04/2002 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhubarb · 24/04/2002 21:02

Be careful with those baby monitors, they operate on radio waves which can be picked up by anybody's radio. I heard of a couple who were discussing their neighbour's noisy sex life, unfortunately the monitor picked it up and it was transmitted to next door's radio who heard the whole thing! So be careful who you talk about!

manna · 24/04/2002 21:25

I'm always picking up someone around here telling her child off ' stop crying or you wont get any tea' kind of thing. In devon at christmas I picked up the neighbours telling their kids to go to sleep or santa wont be able to bring their presents - and this is on a cliff edge! I love mine, personally. I put it on the floor so I don't see the light at night, and turn the sound to zero. I find that any serious crying can still be picked up - the mild ones can be ignored. They are a great thing, but sometimes it's the people, not the machine, that makes it difficult.

LiamsMum · 01/05/2002 06:10

Just thought I'd add that I think my baby monitor is great. We live in a big single-level house and our room is at one end of the house, ds's room is at the other end. So I put the monitor in the kitchen (quite close to our room) so that I can hear him if he cries, but not if he just makes little sounds through the night. I really don't want to be woken up if ds is just rolling over or snoring, etc etc. So I find that having the monitor in the next room is loud enough for us... I wouldn't be without it.

CathB · 02/05/2002 13:46

When have people stopped using monitors? I have to confess that we use one of the movement sensitive ones with our 22 month old. Now she is older I would like to stop using it altogether as I am so conditioned to wake up at every squeak. I might get less fragmented sleep without it if I have to wait to hear her normally (though she is only next door) Dh however, who tends towards the paranoid in these matters, and despite sleeping through all nightime noise, assumes TERRIBLE THINGS will happen if we stop using it.

Enid · 02/05/2002 14:18

CathB, can you hear her crying without the monitor? If so, I would say go cold turkey and turn the damn thing off. How does movement sensitive work? Does it beep if your child stops moving - what about deep sleep?

I have a real bugbear with the breathing detection monitors, I think they play on peoples worse fears. does anyone have any examples of a breathing monitor actually saving a babies life?

Fair enough, if you are out of earshot use a monitor, but not a temperature/breathing one. They will make you paranoid!

sister · 02/05/2002 14:24

CathB, am I right to assume you only have one child???
With my first child I had a monitor and when he was asleep I was never far away from him. When my daughter was born the damn thing broke. You are more relaxed with your second child. I never used a monitor for her and she was in her own room from seven weeks old.
Unless your daughter has got breathing problems I'd say - SWITCH THE DAMN THING OFF !!!!!

Lindy · 02/05/2002 16:08

I stopped using mine two days after leaving hospital - I found it a total waste of money. I so agree that unless you live in a mansion, or like some have said, your bedroom is a long way away from baby - then I think you can hear 'real' crying.

I also, despite all the warnings, put DS in his own room at 3 weeeks and, touch wood, he is now 14 months & has always slept very well & I strongly believe that a lot of this is due to not checking him every time he made a noise at night.

I don't want to offend anyone as I know this is a very sensitive subject - perhaps I have just been incredibly lucky.

Rhubarb · 02/05/2002 22:51

CathB, generally monitors were used at the height of cot-death scare. After six months your child is rated to be pretty well safe from cot-death. After one year the HVs and midwives say you can safely ditch the monitor.

At 22 months I am sure your dd would let you know if something was wrong. It might be worth keeping in case she was ever ill and you wanted peace of mind, but if she is healthy then there is no reason to torture yourself anymore with her little gurgles and shouts. Give yourself a break and turn it off!

bea · 02/05/2002 23:00

i hate the baby monitor.. like others have said it makes me ultra nervous and very jumpy!!!...'oh no... is that a whimper... is she waking up???'... i feel i have to use it when i am at one end of the house and can't hear her... but have been known to TURN THE DAMN THING OFF when we're closer... basically if they want you... you'll know!!!

and god forbid if i had one on when going to sleep... yes it would casue sleeping probs!!! - mine and dh's...

(we're only down the hall so no need to call social services yet!)

Tinker · 03/05/2002 00:09

I was throwing up in someone's bathroom sink at New Year's Eve one year - and it was picked up by the baby monitor!

bloss · 03/05/2002 03:30

Message withdrawn

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