bedtimes gone completely pear shaped

[rhetorician]

mainly dd2 (3.5), sleeping time has crept later and later. She likes someone to stay, but just messes about. So tonight she asked for a book, I gave it to her and told her that she could look at it, but I wouldn't stay. It is now 10pm, and she had got into bed with her big sister (exhausted from 2 nights away with her cousin). But she is still awake. Not helped by an hour and a half nap in the car on the way home, of course, but this is a more regular version of what happens. She gets up at 7 (we always wake her), I suppose 11 hours probably is enough sleep for a 3.5 year old?

Endoftether - oh god, I hear you! but dd2 has more or less worked it out - there's a bit of messing about, but I don't mind taking her to the toilet a couple of times. The key thing to get your head around is that he wants your attention and the more attention you give him, the more he will want you to stay. So tell him that you love him, tuck him in bed, and explain that you will pop in and check on him in 5 minutes. And do that. But just kiss him and leave. Tell him what you want him to do and how you really would be so proud of him if he was like a big boy and went to sleep on his own. really - it's so much better than totally losing the plot, yelling etc. It worked for us - we've a few more days to make it a habit, but so far so good

Rhetorician - thanks for replying! After reading this thread I went back to exactly what you have suggested last night. DS still got up, and still took an hour to fall asleep but it was definitely much more relaxed. As you say WAY better than getting mad....which I was hating. I will keep on with this and see if things improve over the next few weeks. It's all attention as you say...he actually fell to his knees and was crawling down the hallway the last time he got out of bed he was so tired lol. He's got determination I'll give him that! I hope all keeps going well with your DD2! Thank you again!