4.5 month old nightmare sleeper - cant cope anymore!

[mariloulou]

I have my other thread "4.5 month old would you do cc" - and after much response I fully accept that cc is not the way to go right now.

BUT DD2 is going from bad to worse...shes gone from waking every 2 hours.... to 1 hour and last night literally every 20 minutes until I caved in at 2.15am in utter desperation for sleep and brought her in bed with me. Initially I thought sod it, ill feed to sleep and co sleep to get through this regression. But im 5 weeks in now and im losing the will to live. She wakes countless times during the evening, the come my bedtime she wakes more frequently and I feel like I spend so much time trying to get her to sleep for her only to sleep for 20-30mins! I was on the brink of tears last night because im just so tired and fed up. I barely see DH, he has been giving his marching orders to the sofa, which I hate. My poor other DD has to cope with a mardy mum the next day and I just have no patience with anyone.
I thought I could ride it through but in 3 weeks im back to working a 30 hour week.
I really need some help, what else can I do? Heres what ive tried so far.... shush pat, lullaby apps, piece of clothing in cot, white noise, dummy...
I know her 10-15 times a night wakings are because she can't drift back off without assistance. Im not sure she was even that hungry last night either.
help help help

I would also suggest ruling out teething. DS had a horrendous 4 month regression but it also coincided with getting his first tooth. Teething is the only time he wakes in less than 30 minute intervals ... otherwise he will at least complete a sleep cycle, even if he then wakes every sleep cycle.

At 10 months he has 5 teeth and with every one we have had roughly a week of nights with him waking constantly ... only to find a new tooth popping through at the end of the week. Even with ibruprofen, paracetomol, anbesol and teething powders sleep is still really disrupted. He sufferd reslly badly with them.

3 bloody hours... over 3 BLOODY CONSECUTIVE HOURS DD refused to sleep. 1.10am until 4.35am. I tried everything, feeding, rocking, dummy, patting, holding, co sleeping... nothing worked. She just wouldn't sleep.
All your suggestions sound great, the side carring cot could be an option if I need to co sleep for longer, though I really want to dismiss all kinds of cosleeping if im honest.
The sleepyhead looks and reads great..wish I would have known about it sooner! Wow its pricey though, dont think I can stretch to it this month, DD's startle reflex is still quite predominant, so this might help alot.
weaning- im imsure, shes had some porridge for a few weeks and seems to love it, but id worry that her milk intake would decease even more with more food, but I am willing to try anything so this might be a last solution.

I must say im at a loss... again.. im struggling to get by on 3 hours sleep a night. I may contact HV today, though mine are all quite useless and very condescending down here!
Another thing, shes sneezing alot! Sounds snuffly this morning, so we may have a regression/teething/cold situation.... jesus.
my heads bloody pounding. Ill try again tonight putting her down awake, just during the night its harder and sometimes she will only conk out from pure exhaustion.
Going to have a cuppa and a son on the sofa !!

P.s sorry im not replying to you all personally, I am read every message and am really thankful for them! Its just so slow on my phone! X

Hi OP I really sympathise, I've had 2 like that and my 7 month old is still bad.

I'm not sure has anyone mentioned swaddling yet? Perhaps something else to try before investing in sleepyhead or new cot? I was still regularly swaddling dd2 (arms only, in a big muslin) at 4.5 months, even though she could roll. The main function it had was to get her to settle in my arms with a dummy in before putting her in the cot. Not a magic cure at all but it would often buy 2-3 hours instead of the dread 30-45 minutes :(

Oh, the other thing that was majorly troubling dd2 at that age was wind. She often needed to burp much more than I was aware and this was the cause of all the repeated wakings. She's still windy now but much better (she had/has reflux). Not sure if that's an issue at all for your dd.

Op no real advice but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone. My dd was sleeping brilliantly up until around 3.5 months. She started waking 3 times a night and this has gradually increased. She's now 5 months and last night woke 6 times and it took 3 or 4 attempts each time to put her back down. I often wake in the night wondering if I have put her back in her cot or if she's in the bed somewhere because I'm so exhausted.

Co sleeping doesn't work for us until around 6 in the morning when dh gets up for work. Sometimes she is wide awake at that time too but sometimes I can get another hours sleep.

It's helped my sanity slightly if I don't keep a track of how long I've been awake/how much sleep I've had and just do what I need to do to get through.

I hope you manage to find a solution soon and let me know when you do!

Please consider Gina Ford... You need to take yourself away from society if you can for a week and just focus on the routine. Just give it a go without trying to adapt it. Follow slavishly until it's established and it works. It really really does, I don't know anyone who's tried it who didn't have success. I think people go wrong because they try to tinker too much but just give it a full week, suspend any doubt and I'm sure you'll see progress. I helped a desperate friend recently, she was so against routines, cc etc but she was on the edge and totally desperate.
She tried it and a few nights in she called to thank me and she's never looked back. He baby begin to drop off on his own and sleep though within days (after 12m of hell!)

Can you get some time off work as sick leave in order to try it? It's really important to get your priorities straight and take care of yourself before your job or you'll crack.

Good luck x

Oh and to get my daughter out of the habit of feeding at night (when I knew she didn't need it!) I just gave her a few sips of water. She soon stopped bothering to wake to ask for milk. You need to structure all the days feeds carefully so the baby gets enough to not need night feeds and give the biggest feeds before sleep times.

Sorry for plugging GF so hard when I know a lot of people don't like the idea, but when youre desperate, anything should be worth a try! I watched a friend do it with hers and couldn't believe it, it was like some kind of miracle. I tried and it worked perfectly. Everyone I've put on to her has had results.

And doing it half-heartedly is unlikely to work, it's the whole hog or nothing in my opinion..

Best of luck

It might be worth having a quick Google to see if she has any other signs of silent reflux. My DS has it, and his biggest symptom is disturbed sleep, but also the congestion that you mentioned, and also reluctance to feed (not sure if yours is or just doesn't drink much). He wakes constantly when it's flairing, it's like he just sleeps for a bit and then the acid hits and wakes him up. It's exasperated by crying and also teething which is frustrating as they cry at the pain which just makes it worse. Anyway, it's probably not but worth a look as I was at my wits end until I read about it and the penny dropped! You have my sympathy, mine is 9 months and still wakes all the bloody time an excessive amount.

I agree with thinga actually (unusual on mn to find a fellow Gina fan )
I thought I was losing my mind until I started implementing her routines, made for a much happier dd and me!!

I would however speak to a GP/HV first to make sure not missing any physical reason for her not sleeping and as i mentioned on last thread would also consider having some cranial osteopathy done.

I was also going to suggest Gina ford..helped me out a lot with my twins..helps you know they're eating enough and not sleeping too much. There is a forum called 'gina's babies' on baby centre which gives fantastic advice and will help you get started ..good luck xx

I mean not napping too much in the day!