It's time for drastic measures... HELP... please... I'm begging ya!

[MrsBojangles]

That's it, I've had it. Been awake since 0200 'thanks' to ds (2.2). At the end of my tether, and dh isn't far off it either. On top of lack of sleep I'm coming down with a rotten head cold so just 'can't take it anymore'...

ds has never slept well and we've tried various things. Thought we had it cracked a while ago when we drastically reduced his night milk. However then I went away for a week to rest and recoup and since then... nightmare!

Last night so you get an idea: bedtime @ 18:30, grizzling till 1900 which gets duly ignored. Then some peace and quiet till about 2330, then every bloody 1.5-2h screaming festival. Let him get up at 0600 because 'what's the point'. DH actually went to work so he wouldn't 'loose it'.

In the past:

Tried cc to a degree but after letting him cry for about 2-3 minutes a) dd (4.10) gets so upset and b) he makes himself sick.

HV said, give him water instead of milk so he'll realise it's not worth waking up at night... yeah right... ds LOVES water so is drinking that by the gallon

Brought bedtime forward and implemented calmer routine as somebody suggested tired & wound up babies sleep worse. Early bedtimes worked wonders for dd as she's less grouchy (at least something) but ds not convinced.

'Doped' ds with huge bottle of horlicks at bedtime, which he loves, but no such luck of it making him either a better sleeper nor wanting less to drink during the night.

Thought he was itchy because scratching a lot so tried piriton, still scratching but not sleepy, which piriton is alledgedly to do to toddlers.

Took to doctor, ds is a picture of health and no he can't give me anything bar Piriton, but that doesn't work so poohey.

Can ya tell I'm about to loose it too? DH does his part and gets ds when I just can't get up out of exhaustion or when ds won't even let me touch him to try and pat him back down to sleep.

HELP!

sorry for the rant

sounds awful, you must be knackerd, only thing I can think of his maybe a short dose of pheneygen, not sure how you spell it really helped with dd's nighttime waking due to itching. Its much more of a sedative than piriton.

carol it is awful and as dd used to be a dreaful sleeper too I haven't really had a proper night's sleep in about 5 years! Sort of used to it but getting to breaking point and willing to kill for 4h consecutive sleep!

phenergan? so why didn't the doc tell me that when I asked him if there's ANYTHING he could give?!?

you can buy it over the counter .
Only other thing to suggest is have a cold turkey sleep week where you choose one approach, say rappid return , and do it in 4 hour shifts with dh. Is it possible to both have some time off to do it. It may be a killer week but could break the pattern.
Oh and maybe a sticker chart if he's in to that, maybe with 3 stickers each night for sleeping first, middle and morning.
In the short term is there anyway you could have a sleep when dh gets home for a hour or two to recharge the batteries ?
maybe completely useless info that you've already tried but just rambling of the top of my head

Thanks for your rambings carol,

suggested to dh to do 4h shifts but he's not convinced...

as for sticker charts etc. ds hasn't quite cottoned on to reward/punishment yet I'm afraid. Otherwise the perfect bribe would be anything to do with Thomas the tank engine

Rapid return? that's what we're doing at the moment, well feels like it anyhow... yawn. better get dd up, fed and dressed for school and myself organised for work. I'll check back here later though in case anybody else has any suggestions.

If it's any consolation my ds2, aged 2yrs 9 months is still not sleeping through either...

Does your ds still have a nap during the day? Also I'm wondering if you are putting him to bed too early? 18.30 sounds a bit early to me - maybe that's why he doesn't go to sleep straight away - but if he's not having a nap I can see that he might be worn out by then (not to mention you!)

Have you tried putting a full bottle of water/milk into his cot as you go to bed and see if he helps himself to it during the night? Works sometimes for us...

I'm pretty sure with my ds it is because he has become used to waking up during the night and having milk to go back to sleep. But at least he does actually go back to sleep once you give him a drink...I don't unfortunately! I think for both of us it is finding a way to get them out of the cycle.

My plan for the next few weeks is to get him running around more during the day to wear him out, leave a bottle in his cot when we go to bed and if he still wakes us wanting more milk, try to reduce the amount each night. I agree your ds is probably too young for a sticker chart - but I'm going to try that with mine soon if nothing else works.

Is there anyone you can leave ds with today so you can have a nap?

Oops, just saw you are working so no nap for you I guess, double sympathy in that case...

thanks Kteepee ds is at nursery from 0830-1700 ish every day and does has a nap, however if he doesn't have one he sleeps even worse at night. go figure. He does plenty of running around there so he is tired. He used to have later bedtime (had slipped to 2100) but that didn't make any difference so we started putting them down earlier to get 'our evenings' back

We were the same with giving him milk to settle back down, hence now swapped to water in the hope he wouldn't find it worthy to wake up for, but as I said in op... he lurves water... I think it's an 'oral gratification' thing, however will he take a dummy... NOPE.

As for drink in the bed with him. He's a stickler. He'll take the bottle we give him, empties it then starts screaming because he wants us to take it from him. Very tidy our little sod, won't just chuck it away, no has to hand it to grown up. ARgh.

Better get them dressed now. Then find a quiet spot and SCREAM

Mrs B

my ds1 did this with the obsessive night waking and wanting milk to go back to sleep it was purely habit and enjoying our company - so had a cup of water ready outside his door, walked in gave cup and left, when he wanted us to take cup, walked in no talking, or even eye contact and left. Soon did the trick!!

Are you also still giving a bottle (no judgement) you could try giving the middle of the night "bottle" as a cup - less satisfaction so less likely to want it????? Worth a try??

When you say dh has to get up "when ds won't even let me touch him to try to pat him back to sleep" he will know that he wants daddy and that is probably his way of getting him. I know you are exhausted (me too, 3.5 dream sleeper and 6 month old nightmare sleeper) but you could just say daddy is sleeping (he wishes) and then he knows he can't play you.

Hope this helps, there is a reason that sleep deprivation is against the Geneva Convention!!

hotpot had been thinking about swapping bottle for beaker

as for ds wanting dh... ya might have a point there. Problem is ds lets rip so badly that dd wakes up and then I've got 2 grumpy screamy kids on my hand. At least I never had a dream sleeper like you so no shock to the system as much .

only just noticed your closing line rofl!

New form of torture... lock prisoner in small resounding room with screaming toddler