2 year old sleep problems after use of dummy stopped

[SpringInTheStep]

Sleep has been fine for about 18 months, but because of the use of a dummy.

Now that DC is two years old and I am paranoid about buck teeth I have removed the dummy.

Its day 5 and my poor DC cries relentlessly for about an hour. Daytime naps have been completely terminated by DC too, whereas they used to be about 1 - 1.5 hours easily.

I've tried cuddling, shushing, holding hands, explaining nicely. getting cross, leaving alone. I hate that sleep has become an issue now, but each day I tell myself "maybe this is it."

Does anyone have any ideas to help me us get through this?

I can imagine LO would cry a lot, given that the dummy is his/her source of comfort and he has nothing else established as a sleep comfort.

Research shows that children do not have the emotional ability to go to sleep like an adult would (tired, lie down, close eyes, sleep) until pre-school age.

Really, removing dummy at this age and expecting the toddler to sleep without his/her established source of comfort basically involves 'breaking him', emotionally speaking. So just keep going until he/she accepts that the comfort he/she seeks (dummy) is not coming no matter what they do.

Personally I believe that the problem with teeth (and speak) that HCP scaremonger about in relation to dummy use are actually only a factor with irresponsible use of the dummy. Not all use of the dummy.

So my children would have the dummy in their mouth as a means to get to sleep (bedtime and naptime) and then it will drop out of their mouth and not be needed again.

10 minutes - how much damage do you expect that does to a childs teeth?

By the time mine were about 18-24 months I would relegate dummy to the cot only. So it would never be used outside of sleep time. Never when awake. This is responsible use. Very different to the toddlers you see walking around with a dummy in their mouth all of the time. This is the problem dentists face.

You are weighing two aspects of medicine against each other and deciding which is most important - Dentistry or Psychology?

Is it more important that you offer your child the comfort and security of their sleep trigger? Or do you weight the potential damage to teeth with responsible use of a dummy outweights this?

For what it's worth, my children have all chosen to stop using their dummy (by use of a bribe toy and sticker chart) for themselves at around 4 years old. This was done on their choice without my pressure from me (ie if you give up the dummy for a week you can have this special toy. But you don't have to, when you are ready). As such was done when the child was ready and able, without any tears, hassle or any problem whatsoever.

Thanks for the reply. I feel damned f I do, and damned if I don't. I would not worry so much if his teeth were not changing shape in a slightly protruding out manner.

I have read horror stories about painful palate readjustments and braces, all blamed by dentists on use of dummy beyond 2 years. I wonder if, by allowing him to use dummies all night for 2 years, we've already been unlucky and changed his mouth shape. Many people reported it straightening after dummies were removed, but equally many people said they were made to feel bad by dentists blaming use of dummy beyond 2 years old.

I've just sat in his room for an hour while he played, but this time did not cry. I'm hoping that signals a change in the right direction, and that one hour will become 45 minutes, which will become 30 minute and then eventually normal sleep times.

I hate the thought of "breaking him" emotionally/psychologically, or whatever it was you said at the start of your post

I would give the dummy back. Our 3 were much easier to persuade to give it up around 3.

dentists blaming use of dummy beyond 2 years old

Official NHS dentist advise is to stop dummy use by 12 months.

Removing the dummy does not need to be distressing if done when the child is emotionally ready. It will be if done before the child is ready though.

We took away Dd's dummy at 3.4 yrs when she told me to put it in the bin. She has refused to go to sleep ever since. Every night is a battle and I'm convinced it's because she associated her dummy with settling and sleep. It's knackering for all of us .