We need your help

[Lonelylass1218]

Lo has been an amazing sleeper since a few weeks old and slept from 7-7 for a longer time with no problems. Lo hit 7 months and then it's all gone pear shaped. Lo had a cold, learnt to crawl, clap hands and say dada all in the one week. During that week Lo goes down to bed fine then after 30 mins will roll over and cry this goes on until we give up and bring Lo into our bed which is not working as I then don't sleep. I think it may be due to the cold causing Lo to wake up then realising they are on their own and now then can't get out of that rut even know cold has gone. We tried a form of controlled crying which doesn't work as Lo just gets more and more worked up almost makes self sick. Tried pick up put down for the past 4 nights and that doesn't work either. Lo will wake once or twice every hour and we really don't know what to do! Am pretty sure it's not reflux or anything else as Lo is fine during the day, have tried calpol incase it's teething pain and it did no good.

What do you do to bet LO to sleep at bedtime?

What is daytime sleep like and how does LO get to sleep during the day?

How is LO's feeding generally? Both in terms of meals, milk and water.

Was LO rolling around in bed before s/he could crawl? Or stayed still

How long was LO sleeping 7-7? Was this with no wake ups at all or some resettling but no feeds?

Have you tried a night feed while sleep has been bad, how did that go?

Lo had been doing 7-7 since 6 weeks old with one feed early morning around 3/4am then dropped that feed at about 3 months old.

We do bath change and bottle then sleep. Have done this since day 1 and never changed it has always worked.

Lo is feeding well during the day has 25oz and 3 meals.

Since 3 months Lo has slept without a fed without wakening. Sometime would wake around 2/3 and make a few sounds and dropped back to sleep never needed any help to settle again.

Has been crawling and rolling about before this started.

During the day Lo will sleep I bouncer but if a bit difficult to get off to sleep so we rock the chair or sometimes she will nap on us. But this has always been the way.

Lo has eczema which is not bad so do not think its that. Had CMPA but seems to have gone and back on normal formula since 4 months old. Is waiting appointment at hospital for allergy testing to see if anything is causing it.

Lo is fine during the day no issues except a bit irritable as over tired due to not sleeping at night. I stick to a routine so I am at a total loss as to what to do.

We have try an earlier bed time and a later one but that did no good and didn't really work out at all. I tried to give a feed when she wakes but it has been refused. When Lo wakes and cries we wait it out but Lo then rolls over and screams. We go up lift Lo for a few seconds until settles and put back down. Then it goes on and happens every 30/40 minutes.

DP works shift and we live in PIL house so we can't let this go on all night so eventually once it gets to 11/12 we end up bringing Lo into our bed. Lo then continues to wake but does not cry. Lo just spends the night messing around between dozing.

Sleep is not a linear development. It often gets worse for no other reason than it being a developmental change in the baby. So it is important to be able to be flexible to change things or the way you do things according to how the baby changes.

It seems that the developmental leaps your LO made has affected his/her sleep.

I can only give advise on my experiences. My DD's (8 months) ability to settle to sleep went to pot when she learnt to stand and climb recently (not long after learning to crawl). One day she was fine in her bedside cot, seeping bag and dummy - fed or not if she was tired she just went to sleep with her dummy. Then within 2 days she was climbing the cot sides, I had to lower the base of the cot and put the side back on. She would do circuits in the cot, rock on all fours, crawl, roll, climb, stand. Anything but lie still and sleep.

We solved this by bringing back the swaddle - which DD loved in the first 12 weeks of her life but aside from brief returns when over-tired, the swaddle hasn't been used for ages. But you know what? She loves it. Used currently for night time and naps and as soon as her gets that tight, secure feeling all around her (just like being held and cuddled by Mummy), she is immediately still, calm, content and sleeps within minutes with her dummy.

I wonder if my DD is showing me that she will be the first of my four children who doesn't like a sleeping bag. Maybe she would prefer to be tucked in tight with a blanket. These children do have personal preferences which will show though as they get older.

This sort of thing (swaddle or tucked in blanket) may or may not help you. But the point is trying new things to figure out and solve the problem. This can of investigating and trying out new ways and new things is much better and more effective than the arbitrary sleep training that you have been trying.

Your sleep training methods suggest that nothing needs to change and that you can just 'make' or 'teach' baby to fit in with the way you want him/her to sleep. I am suggesting that if you try changing things and doing new things, rather than assuming sleep development is linear so needs no changes, may work better.

Lo never liked a blanket or being swaddled since birth. Hates anything over feet and took a while to get used to a sleeping bag as Lo woke up many times with blanket over face. I have since this has started tried to remove sleeping bag and replace with blanket/nothing/swaddling and Lo just kicks and screams until is freed from them.

Lo never took a dummy I have tried many times but Lo just spits it out instantly. So Lo has never had any comforting things to sleep just a bottle then off to sleep.

I have tried many different things such as normal cot, carry cot, pillow, being propped up, co sleeping, sleeping on me, different rooms, extra feed, less feed, earlier time, later time, bath, no bath etc you get the point.

So I am at my wits end with nothing working and thinking about running away to a hotel forever

I understand that babies (and toddlers) do not have the emotional brain development to self-settle without any form of comfort until pre-school age - so 4yo or 5yo.

Your LO may be able to settle at bedtime because of the milk and full tummy comfort. Then at naptime with the rocking or cuddles. But in the middle of the night, baby may not actually want either of these things - just wanting sleep.

So your lo's lack of sleep comfort may be the issue. In time s/he may well attach to a toy or blanket or similar and make that his/her comfort. In my experience of the only of my children who had a comfort toy, he attached himself to that gradually between 9m and 12m old. So maybe you just need to wait this out and hope your LO attaches to a comforter in time?

You could encourage this by providing things that he might like to use as a comforter at each sleep time.

Lo likes to eat lables so I got a label comforter and has had it the last few nights chews it but still crys.

Have noticed a top tooth coming thru so maybe it's teething related.

Thanks for your advice

That's good, hopefully she'll attach to the label comforter when she is ready and be able to bring herself some comfort to get to sleep.