18 month old - just won't go to sleep. Am in tears writing this...

[Flatsfromnowon]

Hello,

I'm at my wits end and do not know what to do. Can anyone offer any advice?

My 18 month old just won't go to sleep and this has been going on since February when her nan had her for three nights...She never had a problem before. She slept 12 hours straight from about two months old.

We've introduced a bedtime routine. Home at about 6.20, tea then bath about 7.15 then in bedroom for nightclothes and story. It's not working - She is still crying come 8.30 and refuses to go to sleep wearing herself out and eventually falling to sleep at about 9pm.

What can I do? Has anyone experienced this and come through the other side? What did you do? Please help me.

Thanks in advance

Is she still sleeping through? If so, I'd just shift bedtime later by an hour. Unless you are sure she is tired in which case I'd wonder if she needs to be asleep earlier?

What is happening with naps too? Maybe they need rejigging?

Sounds like separation anxiety caused by her sleeping out.

Has she slept out since? How did she react?

If I was you I would be tempted to keep her up until 9 o clock and then the next day bring it forward by five minutes and keep reducing it.

Do you work? im wondering if she feels as though she is missing you

I meant to say, my ds is a nightmare sleeper and also suffers hugely with separation anxiety. It does get better. It does. I promise. I have found, in all honesty, that going with his needs is easier than fighting it. He's 3 now and his sleep still goes up the spout if I've been away from him during the day for any length of time. I still haven't left him overnight. He wouldn't cope.

I know you feel tearful and like it won't end. It will. It always does.

Move bedtime back, if you get home at 6.20pm, and she's in bed an hour later she hasn't had much time to eat dinner, and relax with you both and catch up.

6.20pm home, play, read together
7pm dinner together
7.30pm bath and stories
8pm bed

Yes I've been there and come out the other side. DD has been a terrible sleeper and I have been in your shoes and found it unbearable. It will get better, it really will.

I would experiment with changing the schedule a bit but not too much or too often, give each change a week or so before you decide it doesn't work. Talk to her about what's happening next- at that age they take in much more than they talk I think so if you repeat a simple plan (after your milk it will be story and bed time) she will get used to the inevitability of it. You can then try different timings to see if they work better, with the same overall sequence so she doesn't feel too disrupted.

Good luck and lots of sympathy.

Thank you all.

I do work :( it makes me feel sad that it could be separation anxiety - also she loves her Nanna so I'm not sure. She hasn't slept away since but mainly because we are trying to get a routine established...

I think I will try the later bedtime, I did wonder if our routine was a bit compact without downtime.

I am a bit hit and miss with posting but I will come back just to let you know if it worked/seek further advice.

I'm finding this stage the most stressful, probably with work etc. and possibly that I was used to her just going to bed.

Thanks :)