9 month old up for hours

[teacupnic]

My 9 month old DS has me in tears. It's got me and DH arguing too.

Basically, he wakes up after a few hours of sleep. Normally we'd pop the dummy back in and shush pat. We don't pick him up or feed him unlesshes unwell or teething. at the moment if DH goes to him he will carry on screaming and crying, throws his dummy, stands up in the cot. If I do it hel will calm down, but not fully go to sleep. If I leave the room

Sorry posted too soon.

If I try and leave the room he starts to scream and it takes ages to calm him.

This can go on for up to 3 hours. He will often sleep through after this.

Honestly, what other options do I have other than leaving him to cry? I've tried ignoring the dummy throwing/standing up crying for a bit and it's heartbreaking. It also doesn't work.

Has anyone got any suggestions or is controlled crying the only way?

Sounds like separation anxiety too me.

Is he too hot or cold? A light left on for him or is he in complete darkness? Waking up hungry?

My DD was like this. One thing I done was sit next to her cot at nights when she was unsettled, shushing and patting her when she stirred. Did take a few weeks before she started to self settle.

An idea is you could put an item of clothing Into his cot so he has your scent near him. Does he have a comforter at the moment?

It's not an quick fix, you need to find a way through trial and error and it would be a good idea for your DH to do the same approach as you do so your DS doesn't rely on you every time.

Horrible stage to be going through but luckily now at 14months DD only wakes up about once a week.

Good Luck

I would carry on doing what you are doing - providing comfort but no picking up or feeding. Its a phase and will pass, it's just making sure no bad habits are formed in the meantime!

We had exactly the same thing at 9 months. Just exactly as you say - lots of random night waking and impossible to settle, total rage if we left the room, shushing and patting would only annoy her more... It had us on our knees for a while there.

Good news is it really is a phase. Separation anxiety was at its worse between 8-10 months for us, and it does pass. Be patient. Do what you have to do to get through the nights. If that's CC, fair enough, whatever works for you. For us, we just got a bit more routine going in the day, tried to tire her out as much as possible, and brought her into our bed on the really crap nights when it was 4am and nobody had slept yet. By 11 months it had all settled down massively - might sound a long way off now, but you will get there