Time for a routine.. But how?

[MistletoeBUTNOwine]

Ds is 16months old.
At present I BF and he co sleeps with me and Dp. He feeds a lot during the night, which while I understand this is perfectly 'normal/ natural' I could do with a break tbh.
The other main problem is bedtime. He tends to fall asleep downstairs at the breast, or on DPs lap if I'm not there.
He will take a bottle, and doesn't 'need' BF to sleep, if he's with Dp but won't take no for an answer if I'm about

He has dinner around 5-6 with rest of family then a bath, quiet time etc, but I'm stuck now!
He's down to 1 nap a day usually around midday. If he has an extra late one, bedtime isn't til about 10pm! We're all tired.

Any advice on what to do when he just doesn't seem sleepy at 8 pm ( despite eye rubbing etc)
I can't just chuck him in the cot and leave even though I'd love to sometimes
He's not interested in stories or sing

Sorry posted too soon.
Singing.

Thanks for any tips to help me/him get a bit more organised!

You needing a break is plenty of reason to stop night feeds. A 16 month old doesn't need to feed at night and may actually be happier sleeping through.

The routine you have sounds fine, you just need bite the bullet and realise the last part of it is him going to sleep in his cot . So you need to gently communicate to him that that's what's going to happen. He needs to understand that that's what you expect when you put him in there, and that it's ok to do it because he's safe. Some variation of putting him down, soothing lights / music and you staying, leaving when he's calm, going in to reassure him, and leaving, is what will help him to understand. Same time every night is key imo, babies might not tell the time, but they sure as hell seem to know it.

Are you at home with him? Cut out late naps entirely - with DD, I worked out that sleep after 3.30 messed up her bedtime, so I drew the line. If she wasn't down in time, she wouldn't nap. If she goes down late, I wake her.

My 17 month never seems sleepy at bedtime yet we put her down and she goes to sleep so I think she hides it well, she will sometimes chat in her cot for a while but is asleep by 7. She has a nap at midday and isn't a terribly sleepy child. I think your routine sounds good, you just need to finish it off with the cot. Maybe spend the first week sitting in there with him until falls asleep and gradually move out over the days. Only cuddle at night waking or rub back, anything to sooth that isn't breast? We use the music on the monitor so that when she wakes we can put it on and it normally sends her back to sleep. Don't feel bad about wanting a break, I dont think I could manage 16 months of night feeds, you must want a good straight 8hrs sleep by now!! Good luck

DS is just under 16 months and, like rooty, id agree that consistency is key, especially for bed time. It takes a few weeks to implement and you have to be strict, but you'll really feel the benefit when you get a decent night's sleep.

Our routine is pretty flexible, but there are three main rules I try and follow:

1. up every morning no later than 730
2. no napping after 330pm.
3. same bedtime routine every night. Bath at 630, stories and cuddles 645-7, asleep for 7-730. The "that's not my..." Books are great for bedtime as they can touch the different textures and they are very quick reads.

Getting DS to settle for 730 was challenging but a variation of CC worked really well. It's not for everyone but, like you, I was absolutely exhausted.

Your DS may object to the changes but he must be exhausted too.

Jay Gordon has a good, gentle night weaning schedule. Our DD was v similar. She has now been sttn for about 6 weeks or so, but not really down to anything I did. She is 19m. We still bedshare.

Mine is quite a bit younger ... 6.5 months.

I am at the point where I need her in a routine now because I'm struggling to juggle her and 3yo ds in the day so if I knew there was a bit of predictably to the day I could cope a bit better (in theory!)

I still bf her from 5pm onwards til first thing in the morning and formula in the day but cause she wakes up so much in night I often can't get back to sleep and then when I eventually nod off I sleep through my alarm, end up running late to wherever I have to be that day, wake her up late. Sometimes she doesn't get her first bf/bottle til 9ish.

It's crap basically I feel like I'm doing such a shit job this time round!!! I also struggle to get her down at night cause ds is so lively in the evening he runs in her room and winds her up aaaaarrrggh.

My friend leant me Gina Ford today but I've flicked through and its not for me I don't think.