How do I get her to sleep longer?

[mummaj]

Bit of a long one this... My daughter was born full term @ 4lb 8oz because she was so small she was taken into SCBU for tests and let out as everything normal but we were told she MUST be fed EVERY 3 hours, if she was asleep to wake her and to keep a feeding chart at all times, this continued until she reached 8lbs. However this seems to have had a negative impact on her sleep routine as it has made myself and her partner VERY conscious of her intake. She is now 1 (last week) and still will NOT go to bed before 9/10 pm. I mean before she used to have 5 bottles a day 4 hours apart so she couldn?t go to bed at 7 without us getting up at 6am.

Now she gets up at about 8.30 has a mixture of food and bottles and goes to bed between 9 + 10 with 2 naps during the day. NOW? if I get her up earlier in an attempt to get her to go to bed earlier she just has longer naps in the day and if I wake her up so she doesn?t get a long nap she either screams the place down or will sleep standing up!

We have tried controlled crying and she just looses the plot until the throws up everywhere! By which time she has to come out of the cot so you can change the sheets!

Everyone else seems to send their little ones to bed at 7pm and that's the end of it...where am I going wrong???

I'm stuck for ideas...can anyone help???

not wanting to sound negative but i would say that this was a pretty good sleep pattern for a one year old. Mine never slept past 7 am when this age and were often up in the night. so maybe its either early morning or late night! really, dont listen to those who whose kids sleep the preftect pattern , a lot of it is down to luck i reckon. my ds2 also throws up if left to wail, and still at 2 years wont go to sleep unless im in the bed next to him! hth, prob not but

that is late for a little one to sleep in!! but she is going to bed late.

try bringing her bedtime back by 15 minutes at a time...so perhaps she eventually goes to bed at 8.00 and then it gives you and your DH time together and if she gets up at 7 , she is still getting enough sleep! they do need a good 10 -12 hours at night so as not to be overtired and grotty the next day....

Have you tried putting ehr to bed earlier?

What time are her naps?

I would go with lulumama and bring her bed time gradually earlier. My little one used to go to bed at 10pm, but I have gradually brought it fwd by 15mins and struggle to keep her awake to 7pm now. So def worth giving it a go.

echo frayed knot
what are her days naps, she shouldnt really sleep after 2.30/3pm if you want her to have a realistic bedtime of 7.30/8pm.
and no more than 2 1/2hrs nap in the day.
if shes a late napper, get her up at 8 and work backways from there.

Thanks for your replys.. can you tell me do yours go to sleep on their own i.e. you put them in their cots and leave them? That is the problem here because we cant 'put her to bed' we have to sit with her until she goes to sleep and then put her in her cot.

Thanks moopymoo, not negative at all! I have had 2 people say to me 'if she is good company then make the most of it'. I think I may be a little soft in this respect because she is so much fun it does seem such a shame to put her in bed and upset her??? Maybe I'm a soft touch!

dennya, how old is your little one and when did you start doing this...sounds like a good plan to me!

Hermykne, she usually has a nap at about 12 for only half hour before lunch and then 4 ish for an hour or so.. So not that long overall unless we wake her up early and then the 12 nap can last a couple of hours with her being impossible to wake!

mummaj... i am the opposite....both mine went in their own cots, in their own rooms from birth.....!!!

i would try giving her a new sleep association..because at the moment, you are her sleep association....a new teddy or doll ? a special blanket? a dummy?

and the controlled crying technique? but you have to be strong and consistent so make sure you feel ready to do it!!! it seems to be short term pain for long term gain....but you have to commit to wanting to change things!

if she is good company..lovely..but she can be good company in day light hours and then you all get a good refreshing sleep at night! you have your DH for company at night..

i am probably not the best person as i am really strict about sleeping !!!! i think you are possibly still concerned because she was so small at birth and you are maybe worrying more than you would have done if she had been average sized and you had not had to feed her so carefully for the first months.....??

maybe drop the 4 o clock nap and get her into the habit of a big sleep at lunch time

DD sleeps 12 - 2 or 2.30 and goes to bed at 6.......no sleep in the morning, unless a quick cat nap on the school run and no afternoon sleep..she is 15 months old and has been in this routine for a while now...

lulumama, thanks for the messages, does your DD have lunch before nap? I think you are right on the food thing, I still seem to be a little hung up on it but I couldn't stand it if she started to loose weight now she is still only 19lb 8oz! I have seen 6 month olds weighing more!

Were you not nervous putting your in their own rooms from birth? It gave me peace of mind being able to hear her breathing from next to me.

Can someone please clear something up for me, I'm new to this (mumsnet) and call me a dumbass but I'm stuck on what DD, DH etc stand for???

Started about 10wks old and soon whittled it down. She is 18wks now. Hope it is going ok for you.

mummaj why don;t you cut out one nap?

Put her down after lunch (say 12ish - early lunch at 11.30) let ehr sleep for a good 2 hours or so, then she won;t need to sleep again at 4 and by 7 she will be ready for bed.

So as of now I will be trying the one long nap at lunchtime policy and if she doesn't go to sleep earlier I'll start taking 15 mins off of her bed time...STARTING TONIGHT! I'll keep you posted and thankyou all for your help.

Dennya, 18 WEEKS! Your child must be an angel! Well done wish I was so lucky! We'll soon see!

"lulumama, thanks for the messages, does your DD have lunch before nap? I think you are right on the food thing, I still seem to be a little hung up on it but I couldn't stand it if she started to loose weight now she is still only 19lb 8oz! I have seen 6 month olds weighing more! "

well to answer that part of the question....my DD who is 15 months weighs 21 lb!!!! and yes.. i know 6 month old babies who weigh more!!! she is petite....sounds like your DD too.

She has lunch after her sleep as she has milk & brekky, small snack & drink of milk in the morning...lunch after her sleep...then tea followed by milk then bed....if you want a more detailed list i can do it..but you need to do what is right for your DD...she won;t follow what we do ..she is a different child. I wouldn;t worry too much about her weight...some kids are just built smaller than others....if she is meeting her milestones developmentally and is healthy -she is eating enough.!!

"Were you not nervous putting your in their own rooms from birth? It gave me peace of mind being able to hear her breathing from next to me. "

I was nervous.....but got a good baby listener...but that got put away when they were 6 months old....if they need you , they cry loud enough for you to hear...i would pop in and check on them in the night if necessary...also, you had the additional anxiety of a small baby who was in SCBU....so that would certainly make you more aware of their breathing and general health....
"
Can someone please clear something up for me, I'm new to this (mumsnet) and call me a dumbass but I'm stuck on what DD, DH etc stand for???"

there is an acronym list up at the top of the screen which explains all the common abbreviations!

Hope that helps a bit!!

So yesterday as 'luck' would have it, DD had NO naps as my cousin bought round her newborn baby. Bust shock horror she still didn't go to sleep until 9.30pm. I woke her up at 7.30am this morning see if that has any effect!