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Sleep train or co-sleep?

7 replies

Bumb1ebeesknees · 05/05/2015 23:39

DS 5.5 months corrected, 7 actual, feeds to sleep. For the last 8 weeks he has been waking up every 45 mins - 2 hours over night.

For the last month I have been trying to put him down sleepy but awake after a breastfeed. Sometimes he will settle, other times I have to pick him up and feed again. His daytime naps have improved slightly but I am not seeing any change in his night time sleep, or his ability to self settle.

I have tried giving formula before bed with no change. He is swaddled but I am trying to wean him off due to his age, so he has one arm out. He also has a sleepyhead pod.

I need more sleep. I don't know what to do. Should I try some sleep training, or move to co sleeping (and if so should I allow him to comfort suck?).

He will not take a dummy :(

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Pinkandwhite · 06/05/2015 02:45

Co-sleep. If that means you get more sleep just do it. Your baby won't need you or want you forever. If co-sleeping means you get more rest then don't hesitate to do it.

I know you must be utterly exhausted (I really feel for you) but ideally I don't think you should do sleep training if it involves any kind of leaving your baby to cry unless it really is the only way you can cope. That should be the very last resort.

I know so many people who have co-slept successfully. For example, my sister has four children and co-slept with each of them. She says she never felt tired as a result. Her children are now 12, 10, 8 and 6. They are all great sleepers. She said they just learnt to latch on without crying. She thinks she often didn't even wake up when they did but if she did wake up she just went straight back to sleep.

I have an eight month old baby and would love to co-sleep but don't because I'm not a great sleeper and think I might disturb her. If co-sleeping works for you and your baby then enjoy it. They grow up so quickly.

StrawberryMojito · 06/05/2015 03:50

I co-slept with my DS until he was about 9 months old because he would never settle on his own. He required a feed to sleep and woke as frequently as yours did. Despite the co-sleeping, I was still exhausted and he still cried when he wanted the boob, he never just latched on in peace. We sleep trained at around 8-9 months. Both he and I were happier for it as we both needed more sleep during the night and I wanted my bed back.

Don't make yourself ill over it though, do whatever it takes to get some rest and recharge your batteries a bit and you may have more energy to deal with the long term issues.

Bumb1ebeesknees · 06/05/2015 03:54

I used to sleep walk quite frequently before baby, so I have concerns with co sleeping. It's only happened once since, but I don't know what the risk is. It would also mean I couldn't use my sensor may monitor, which unsettles me.

Is there a gentle way to try and improve things as well as the placing down drowsy but awake?

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purplemurple1 · 06/05/2015 04:34

Are sure he is feeding for cpmfort rather than food? Could your oh do night wakings for some night to wean him from breastfeeds (take holiday if needed). That way he still gets the cuddles.
You could also start some gentle sleep training for naps so dont feed again and try something else eg shh and pat, pick up put down (although this made mine very angry), rocking or walking in the pram etc.
If he is very sucky id try witj some diff types of dummies again as well

Ive also found i have to put them down earlier if i want them to self settle so eg 15 before nap time at the very earliest tired signs. If its more than half way to the next feed they wont settle.

Do you have any type of schedule?
When do plan to start solids as this affected sleep for mine.

icklekid · 06/05/2015 04:39

I coslept until 9 months (started around 4/5) to survive when gradual withdrawal wasn't working. It worked well in that I wasn't sleep deprived however at 9 months I wanted my bed back so did controlled crying. Slept through after 2 nights. I don't regret not doing it earlier as I felt by 9 months it wasn't cruel and we both benefit hugely now!

splendide · 06/05/2015 07:14

Could he be a bit uncomfy or too hot in the sleepyhead? I moved my DS out of it and into a cot at about 4.5 months and his sleep improved.

FATEdestiny · 06/05/2015 11:29

Is a sleepyhead pod one of those moulded mattress things?

At 5 months my DD was rolling back to front and front to back and decided she was most comfortable sleeping on her side. I would imagine these moulded mattresses don't allow for rolling or side sleeping.

I therefore second splendide's suggestion of moving out of the sleepyhead into a cot that will allow for moving and stretching.

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