5am starts - EVERY day

[Italianbride]

I am losing the will to live! I have a 2.5 year old who has always been a pretty good sleeper. But my 17 month old is the pits!

He didn't sleep through until he was 1 and that was after I had to night wean him as he was still waking 2-3 times a night to bf. Since then we've had 5 months of early rising (between 5am and 5.30am)
and it's really getting me down.

You name it I've tried it to get him to sleep longer. And he tends to be shattered by 11am so I know he needs to sleep in longer.

I guess I'm looking for other people's tales so I don't feel so alone in this. No one I know in RL has the same issue.

Morning.. Same here.
Ds 21 months wakes at 5am every morning. He is knackered by 12 and sleeps for approximately 2 1/2 hours then goes bed at 630. He sleeps through so I've now come to terms with it and just get upwhen he does. II'm sure it'll change one day
it's bloody hard though!!

Yep, I feel your pain. Ds 16 months up at 5 this morning, it's rarely past 5.30. He naps at 11 because he's so shattered, then bed at 6.30.

Advice I've received before is to push nap later, which I'm trying to do slowly but it's difficult risking him then being overtired.

I feel as though there's got to be a solution somewhere but I'm damned if I can figure it out.

I saw this and my heart went out to you.

This was my daughter who is now 16.

I think in the end I took a neighbours advice to try and accept this for the time being and adjust the family routine to suit it.

I was a sham so could do this (as much as I wasn't keen).

I have to say it was never wonderful but once I stopped fighting it and accepted this I felt a lot of stress anger and pressure lift.

It became the norm in in our house to be back from Asda and a home made meal prepped before 9am. I used to go to toddler groups early and get back for late morning naps.

Advantages were.... places were quiet and nicer/easier to visit early. I even used to go to the park at 6am in the morning some weekends. Take a towel to wipe dew/damp off swings. Usually some one else would turn up with their early riser too- making me feel less isolated.

Things slowly improved over the years. I had to get used to early nights as well. I recorded tv I would miss and watch either at 5am on a slow start day or late morning at nap time.

Even now as a teen my daughter is up by 9am on a weekend whilst her younger sister needs to be dragged out of bed at midday.

Rest assured - whichever approach you take this is another phase that will come and go and you will survive it.

The only thing I can suggest, that might work is cutting the daytime sleep down (is it just one seep at 11am?) and trying a 7.30pm bedtime. My Ds is 8 and still an early riser, but at least he can sort himself out in the morning now!

Agree with twirlwirlywoo
My ds wakes up happy and is happy mostly all day so he's clearly having enough sleep but just wakes at a time that doesn't suit me. I tried pushing his bedtime later but all that did was make him overtired and then he woke in the night and still woke early. So now we just go with the flow and I enjoy a quiet cuppa at 5am and read my book while ds plays then eldest gets up and dh and we all have breakfast and sometimes dh gets up so I have a lie in. Hope you can work something out

Sounds very familiar, we too have crept past neighbours, tea towel in hand to visit the park at some ridiculous hours. Hoping things will change with full time school!!!!!!

Thank you so much for your replies - it really helps to know I'm not alone (as I often feel it at 5am!).

I have tried to adapt to the early starts by going to bed early but I then start to resent not having any time in the evenings. I am also considering a return to work and I'm not sure how I'll get through a full day.

I guess I'll just have to ride it out and hope that one day something miraculous happens and he decides to start sleeping longer.

I remember that age and the ridiculous early starts. From (vague) memory, I could boob her back to sleep most mornings but it's a struggle to be even contemplating 'awake' at that time :-)

Mine is now 2 and wakes promplty at 630am no matter what.

Same here and it is quite annoying im up at 400 to feed the 4"month old so she can be settled before the 20month old wakes between 430 and 500. Normally naps an hour and goes to bed under protest around 2000.

Our only ray of hope is on days he manages without a nap he will then sleep 1830 - 600ish so the sooner its dropped for good the better.

If it's stories to make you feel less shit you want... My 17 month old is up at 5am and still wakes twice in the night before that for a cuddle/water, despite being night weaned at a year old! She's up at 11.45pm, 2.30am and then 5am without fail. And only naps an hour in the day!

Oh and she doesn't go to sleep at night until 8pm whatever time I put her to bed!

Slash day time sleep.

The effect was immediate.

She used to have 2 hours, and wake at 5.30.

Now she has 1 hour and wakes at 7.

im often up at 5 or 5.30 because my 8 year old wakes up at this time. He doesnt always wake me up too, but he often does. I just go with it these days, and go to bed earlier. Even my 14 year old is usually up by 6 or 6.30. Its only my dd who needs the covers dragging off her head at 8.

I use the time to drink extra coffee, and these days ive been doing an exercise dvd in the morning and have a shower before school run. I wouldnt have time if i got up late.

My routine has changed so many times over the last 14 years of parenthood, that I just go with the flow now. It doesnt mean youll be getting up at 5am forever

Totally feel your pain. We had this for almost two years constantly. It's an absolute killer.

No child is the same, number one rule. So whilst you get advice, as you know they are all different.

Ds1 started at 18 months (just as I fell pregnant with ds2) and has just in the last 6 months (3 1/2 years old ) shown improvements. This morning he slept until 7am, but the norm is between 6 and 7.

Ds2 sleeps well and so far (he's 16months) wakes around 7/8am. But this will all change.

So for things to try (and do them all for at least one week as know 1 night is not enough)

-try increasing day time nap (we strongly believe overtireness when ds1 transitioned from two naps to one, triggered the early rising)

• age appropriate bedtime (7/730) even if they take a while to actually go off to sleep- if they wake then they will know how to get back to sleep

-decrease daytime naps to a period of time you think is sensible

• make sure they have a snack before bed and a SMALL drink

• dark room/ no noises ie radiators coming on, birds tweeting/ neighbours starting car
• wind down before bed
• not too much sugar during day (sensible home cooked stuff if poss)

We found that a dark room, a long nap in the day and a snack at bedtime really helped. We can't prove it, but after two years of 5am starts and some of that mixed in with a very demanding and hungry newborn, I will believe anything!

Good luck! X

Terrified how did you stop birds tweeting and neighbours starting cars?! Or at least stop the baby hearing them?

We had this with ds (17 months). 5am every day and it was rubbish. We did three things really;
-Switched to one nap of 1.5 hours in the afternoon (from 2.5 hours over two naps).
-Pushed bedtime from 7 to nearer 7.30.
-Some exercise in the evening. We got to meet dp off the train at 6.20 and make/let ds walk home.
He gets up at around 6.30 ish now and that extra hour/hour and a half makes all the difference.

Same boat here with my 15 month old but she wakes in a grumpy mood because she's still tired. Naps are awful. Some days we get 2. Other days only 1 and it can be as short as 30 minutes. I definitely think we have an overtired problem as she falls asleep immediately at bedtime which indicates she must be tired. She woke at 4.40 this morning, played and cried for a while then full on screaming. Decided enough was enough because anything before 5 is definitely not acceptable. Fought on until 5.20, gave her a firm "no it's sleep time" and she's actually gone back over. But most mornings it's difficult to get her back to sleep. She's very stubborn and will just scream the place down. We live in a bungalow so it's difficult to switch off!!

Yep- same with my 18 month old. He usually sleeps from 6.30pm-5am and nothing will change him at all. It's just his body clock.

I just go to the earliest groups I can find, do everything in the morning and then put him down for an early nap at about 11.30am as he is shattered by then. The afternoons can seem quite long to fill but I try to do stuff like the park/ garden then.

I feel as though I can't really complain as he does consistently sleep through- I just have a few extra cups of coffee and go to bed at about 9pm myself!

Ha ha, not much you can do about cars and birds. Although we live in an old house and the glass is only 3mm thick so you can hear EVErYTHInG! We are looking into secondary glazing!

Sometimes it helps to understand why, even if you can't fix it!