2 year 2 month old DD takes over an hour to fall asleep

[Anypants]

I am desperate for some advice from anyone who has or is going through a similar time to me.

My 26 month old DD has previously been a great sleeper and, up until just over a month ago, was happy to go to bed and fall asleep on her own within a few minutes. I presume it has something to do with a change since I started working two mornings a week around the same time. So, she was still in her cot but started playing up after I put her to bed (after usual bedtime routine of bath, milk, teeth, story) and started climbing out. I put up with it for a few nights, picking her up and putting her back to bed with her thrashing around because she didn't want to be picked up. It took progressively longer each time until, after a week or so, I put her into a toddler bed, as the cot was no longer safe. She had an easier escape now but still the same picking up and putting back whilst shushing and no eye contact etc. Still over an hour to get to sleep. I tried the walk in walk out method but after 60 put backs in an hour, she seemed to think it was a game and didn't give in. If I sit and hold her hand or stroke her head, she turns that into a game too and gets more awake. I have resorted to putting her to bed then standing in her room with my back to her and if she gets out I pick her up (thrashing and grabbing my face, shouting 'BED, BED') for a few seconds, telling her it's sleepy time and she needs to sleep. This works after a fashion, but it's like she has to reach a certain point before she gives in and settles down. I have tried her without a nap, with a nap, wearing her out with swimming and outdoor play etc but no difference. I've tried Calpol in case it's teeth but still no difference. I tried leaving her in her room one night but after an hour or more she was still wide awake, playing around and I had to go back in. From other threads, most toddlers go through a sleep problem at this age but after a few nights of hell they're back to normal. Also, once asleep, she's sleeps through until morning (mostly) so that's not an issue.

She's not crying whilst in bed so 'controlled crying' won't work.

I am mentally exhausted as I have to do it alone each night because DH is at work.

Anyone got any foolproof ideas?

TIA

You're probably doing all of this anyway but here goes.

Daytime nap of only 1.5 hours.
Lots and lots of cuddles in the day. Skin to skin is especially good. Could you share your bath together?
Get her outside when she wakes in the morning and at least one other time in the day. Daylight helps sleep at night.
No screen time for at least 2 hours before bed.
A couple of drops of lavender oil on her bedding.
Blackout blinds.

Hope you find something that works.

I often have issues with my now 4 year old settling to sleep.

We have a reasonable evening routine, a blackout blind, lavender oil, and no noisy toys. If she really wont' settle down to sleep I just leave her to get on with playing quietly. It's saved my sanity somewhat and I find that she quite often drops off after about 30 minutes of being left.

Realise that's probably no help at all, but it's more a case of me trying not to let it get to me. I am guessing that by the time she gets to school, she'll be more tired and settle quicker. For now, it's not worth the battle of "get back into bed" etc.

Sound advice from pp. Any what time do you put her in bed?

Bedtime is around 7pm jilted - always has been but now with the lighter evenings I might try and put up the Gro Anywhere blind I used when she was much younger. Lavender oil is a great shout - I stopped using the bedtime bath stuff as she had a bit of eczema so maybe she needs a soothing smell to help drift off? Excellent suggestions all so i'll give the blind and oil a go tomorrow night. Thank you!

Oh and yes pedestriana - sometimes i'm in a better frame of mind to deal with it and I just put up with the messing about until she gets bored. Other times, after a long day, it's harder so my patience wears thin. Fx i'll get it down to half an hour or so soon

You definitely need to be in the right frame of mind to deal with it. My DS was a shocker of a sleeper but for a long time I was just too exhausted to do anything about it.

Hope you have a better night tomorrow

How long are her naps? Dd started to drop naps entirely at that age and if she had longer than about 30mins would not fall asleep until 9pm. She sounds like she is not quite tired enough.

I must confess that at present, we have a later bedtime; 7.30/8pm. If we try before 7 then the agony goes on far longer. We still have twenty minutes or so of tired, stroppy child but at it means that it 'only' takes up to an hour for her to doze off, as opposed to two or three.

I made a little lavender bag (sewn closed) that hangs on the bedroom door - which reminds me, it needs refreshing.

My 2.6 year old is taking ages to get to sleep after the clocks changed, I leave pile of books, a car and a sippy cup of water next to his bed and just tell him to read or play with his car if he doesn't want to go to sleep. So now, sometimes he might read or play in bed for up to a hour on a 'bad' night but he knows not to get up and hassle me at least.

I did try her for a few days without a nap but it made no difference as she was either overtired and running around like a banshee or had a power nap around 4 or 5 if we were in the car and then she behaved the same at bedtime.

She woke up snotty today so I have a cold to contend with too, so lots of cuddles for the foreseeable. Hopefully she'll settle down better after she gets over it.

Thanks for all the advice - i'll keep you posted if I find the magic combination!

For a cold - a drop of olbas oil on a tissue tucked inside the pillowcase may help with snuffles.

The sippy cup is a good idea, wizard. DD's bed doesn't have a bedside table (being clumsy like me, she'd bang her her head on it) but occasionally gets up in the night to get a drink of water.

I have no useful advice as we had a night similar to this last night,
I am hoping and praying it was just an off night and hard as it is I guess you just need to stand firm and persevere!
I am feeling vile this morning and I was SO ANNOYED last night but lack of sleep turns us all into fruitcakes.
Feel your pain!