What's going on?

[hedgehogsdontbite]

I really need some advice about how to proceed with DS who's just turned 2. He's normally pretty good but recently it's all going wrong and I don't have a clue what to do.

He went into a big bed about 5 months ago as he could escape from his cot. We used the silent return technique which worked a treat. Most nights he didn't get up and if he did he'd only need returning once or twice. Then the clocks changed and it all went wrong, although that may be coincidence.

Now he doesn't go to sleep until 9-9.30. We've tried changing bedtime from 7.00 to 8.00 but it makes no difference. He's up every 5 minutes dancing round his room and getting all his toys out. His wake up has changed from 6.30-7.00am to 5.30. He naps at 12.00 usually until around 1.30 or 2. He goes off quite quickly at nap time because he's knackered.

What do I do? Do I accept he's not going to sleep so much at nice and have a 9.00pm bedtime? :( Or do I need to stop him sleeping in the day? Something else?

Anyone?

Personally I think aged 2 (let alone 19 months old) is at least a year too early to move to a bed.

Just because he can escape from a cot does not give reason to suggest he is ready for a bed. He could have just been shown boundaries and taught not to climb the cot sides.

Instead you now have the much more difficult boundaries to establish of keeping him in bed when he can very easily get out.

He sounds knackered, limiting or reducing sleep is absolutely not what you need to do. A 2 year old on average would want 12 hour sleep at nigth plus a 2 hour lunchtime nap.

You have to do what you should have done when he was still in the cot (sorry if that comes across as harsh), you need to set expectations and boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not acceptable at bedtime. Staying in bed/cot is the Number 1 boundary needed. Much easier to do this with a cot that explaining to a young toddler in in bed.

My children have happily stayed in their cots until somewhere between Aged 3 and Aged 4.

Could you bring the cot back?

I'm sorry but this is the second time I have noticed you criticize someone's choice to move there child to a bed from a cot. Every child is different and I'm sure you where happy keeping your children in the cot until they were 3 or 4 but some children are more than ready before that age my daughter is in a single bed and lives it and she is 28 months old. Op the clocks changing could have something to do with it as it is lighter i have noticed it with mine and have put up darker curtains as the sun always comes up in the back 1st thing and wakes them.

I know I need to teach him to stay in bed, I'm not stupid. That's what I'm posting for, asking for advice on how to actually do it. The cot is not coming back. He's a climber. He goes over the side head first. It's dangerous. Leaving him in it unsupervised would be irresponsible.

Part of the problem isn't that he's knackered. He isn't. He's full of beans, happy, smiley and wanting to dance around his bedroom. He doesn't start to show any signs of being tired until around 9.00pm at the earliest.

We got the travel cot out and put it in DD's bedroom as she couldn't get out of that. If she went wandering she was put in the cot with a silent return. Took about two weeks to go back to normal. She'd slept v well in corned for 6 months but when DD2 turned up in a Moses basket in our room then that's clearly where the party was.

No advice I'm afraid as I also have a two year old monkey who likes to jump around at bedtime and early morning. He was out his cot at 18 months as he would jump out 30 plus times a night and I know of someone whose child accidentally hung herself on the cot jumping out so my advice to anyone out there is if you think they can get out the cot take the cot side down - the risks are too high especially if using a sleeping bag. Horrible.

Travel cot alongside 'big boy bed' is a good idea TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

hedgehogsdontbite - You'll need to go back to silent rapid return, as you used before. It may mean hours and hours of repeatedly returning him to bed until he gives in and accept it, but with consistency and diligence he will. He is likely to be very, very tired while going through the worst of this, so you just have to plan your days to allow for that.

How would he be with a sticker chart and some bribery? I don't think you need to make bedtime later or restrict daytime naps.

rach2713 - You've seen be write it twice, you may well see me write the same thing several dozens of times again, because it is my opinion.

Yes I understand it's your opinion but it doesn't come across like that it comes across more as criticism. Yes he has been in a bed from a early age and has his mum has said he was a climber and went head first so I would have put my son in a bed for his safety. Hedgehogsdontbite yes you could try a sticker chart or maybe it may take a week or so but Judy keep putting him back in his bed that's what I done with my daughter who is 2 and she's now in her bed sleeping really fast

could it be something to do with not getting dark enough by the bed time? Also it could be possible that you should limit the length of the nap during the day. My now 2 year old stopped napping when she was 15m. She never wanted to go to bed and it took hours to get her to fall asleep and she slept terrible during rhe night. Ever since we dropped the nap she has been amazing, goes to bed at 7 and sleeps through until 7, no arguing nothing. It's incredible! She does get very tired about 5 ish but then we have quiet time until the bed. Maybe you could try to shorten your lo's nap? it could work, it could not but might be worth a try.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I think he's too little for a sticker chart at the moment. He doesn't have enough understanding yet.

Yesterday we tried dropping the nap, which was a disaster. By 4 he was very tired. By 6 he was beside himself with tiredness which was upsetting for all of us. And he still didn't go to sleep until 9.30.

Today we woke him after and hour of nap. I thought he'd be upset getting woken but he wasn't bothered at all. He seemed tired by bedtime, but not exhausted. DH put him to bed at 7.30 and he was out of bed 5 minutes later. He put him back to bed and then sat outside the bedroom door where he could be seen. The little monkey stayed in bed and was asleep 15 minutes later. I think we'll do the same tomorrow and see how it goes.

could it be something to do with not getting dark enough by the bed time?
Very possibly. We're in Sweden so it's got very light in the evenings now.