Self settling

[Millieash]

Hello,

I posted on here a while ago about self settling, DD sleeps through the night but feeds to sleep. She's now stopped feeding to sleep (or at least it takes a looooong time & she's started waking in the night).

I've started trying the pu/pd method but I have some questions..

I put her down sleepy but awake and she plays for a bit then starts shouting, which soon becomes crying. If I go to comfort her, she sees and me instantly smiles and is then wide awake. If she's not in the mood for smiling she continues to cry and if I try to comfort her in her cot, she just grabs my hand and chews my fingers/plays with my hand. She also grabs the side of the cot and pulls herself around. At what point do I pick up? I don't EVER see her self settling, my head just says "no, it's never gonna happen!"

Ahhhh help!

going through this now with my appalling little sleeper. he's 11 months and we had to get tough or mine and DP's relationship is going to crack!

basically it's a battle of wills. I'm sorry I can't offer more practical advice but I can offer sympathy.

Persistence persistence persistence!

The PU/PD worked for us when our DD was about 5 months old (really didn't want to do ANY sleep training but for the sake of our relationship we had to get DD out of our bed, into her cot and my DP back into bed) but she got poorly so ended up co-sleeping again not long after we cracked it. When we resumed the PU/PD she had clearly clicked on what was happening and it wasn't working. It worked her up even more.

Just after 6 months we started controlled crying (leaving the room for 1 minute, 2 minutes etc) and within 3 days she was sleeping through and self settling. Our DD was also a feed to sleeper, and up until this week, was still a feed to sleeper for naps, however, for various reasons, I need to wean her from the breast and onto formula. This is our next obstacle to get over and she is 9 months old now.

So with pu/pd what happens if, when you pick up, they don't calm down?

this may help

That is why we moved onto controlled crying, because when we went back to PU/PD no matter what we did, she cried, whether we held her not. We knew there was nothing wrong with her and so she was crying because she just didn't want to be in her cot.

Maybe you could do a mixture of cc and PU/PD, ie. If she is crying regardless then leave the room for a minute or so.

Sounds exactly like my 9mo DS so watching with interest. I would LOVE him to self settle, mostly because I think it will help stop his night waking. He will only sleep if I shush-pat him. He often wakes during night and just needs a moments reassurance from me and he is back to sleep - I wish he would just go back without the reassurance. He's also waking too early from naps for the same reason. Argh!

Going to try again tonight. Saw my hv today, we think the problem is that she's so used to being fed to sleep that she doesn't understand and is getting frustrated. She suggested feeding until very very sleepy and then try putting her down & comforting then doing it as she's less & less sleepy. She told me to be consistent & try with daytime naps, too.

Plateofcrumbs-it's so hard, I feel your pain! I shall report back tomorrow with my success/failure! Will probably update with a "so what now..." Message later tonight!!!

Hope you have a peaceful night millieash!