Dummy...

[gemsie23]

Does/has anyone else had problems with giving lo a dummy but then it keeps falling out when they drift off and wakes them...any ideas for how to sort this other than cuddling them until they are asleep properly?

It is normal and expected that the dummy will fall out of the baby's mouth as they drop to sleep.

The muscles of the mouth/jaw which hold the dummy in will relax as the baby goes into a deep sleep and this will mean the dummy isn't held in the mouth.

It is normal that a dummy would be in a childs mouth only until they fall asleep, not all of the time they are asleep. This means maybe 10 minutes of dummy sucking is needed. Sometimes my DD's dummy is out of her mouth within a couple of minutes of being put down to sleep, because she's then in a deep sleep so the muscles relax.

So back to your question - all dummy users will be used to dummy coming out of the mouth as baby falls asleep because this is what happens.

What it shouldn't do though is wake baby up, because the baby should be asleep by tis time. If it is, then you need to identify and deal with whatever issue is causing your baby to be such a light sleeper.

The dummy itself does not cause light sleeping and mean that they wake up at the slightest thing like this.

How old is your LO?

She is 11wo. It's about 45minutes from the time we put her to bed to her going to sleep as we have to keep putting the dummy back in.

anyoldnameforathread do you remember around what ages it was?

This is what my baby was doing when we tried to introduce a dummy from about 6 weeks old, it seemed to be preventing him from getting into deep sleep despite him enjoying the comfort of sucking. It was literally falling out every 2-3 mins and he would cry for it so I would put it back in but this could continue for up to 45 mins.

We decided not to persevere with it for this reason but now I am considering trying again at 4.5 months old as we are having trouble settling him down for naps and at at bedtime (currently using pat shush method for past two weeks with little improvement).

My question us would I be mad to re-introduce dummy at this age (if he will take it that is). The thing is once he is asleep he sleeps well (touch wood!) it's just getting him to settle that's the problem. I certainly don't want to create another issue in that he might keep waking in the night for us to put dummy back in?!

cooperbug I'm not really sure myself as havnt got experience other than now when she is 11wo. I guess it would depend if your lo could find it and put the dummy back in but I don't know when that is possible.

My lo has started to try and suck her thumb but she hasn't quite got it yet, hoping she will be able to settle herself with that rather than dummy soon!

She is rubbish at napping in the day and I think she is a really light sleeper too so if she does nap it doesn't last long. She can do 9hr stretches but she does a couple nights then last night she was awake 1:45-4 for no reason!!

Gemsie & Cooper - Dummies do take an element of perseverance for some babies. It is at this stage where many parents think that a dummy isn't helping and go give up on it. Then further down the line you realise what a God-Send the dummy is as a simple and easy sleep trigger.

Cooper - My first child was 20 weeks before I introduced a dummy, so 4.5 months is not too late. It will be too late soon though, so make a decision because by 6 months (ish) the chances of establishing a dummy would be slim.

Gemsie - 11 weeks old is still in the learning stage. Make sure your baby is well fed - that is the root cause of most sleeping issues at this age. If well fed, sleep should come easily. Feed your baby regularly through the daytime - at least every 2 hours and as often as needed in the night.

full tummy + frequent feeds = easy sleep.

Assuming your baby is getting enough calories, then the dummy is for comfort and should not lead to light sleeping.

As for when a baby can re-insert own dummy, it depends on the baby's development. Fine motor skills develop anytime between 6 months and 18 months.

Thanks for advice Fatedestiny, i am going to see how today goes and make my mind up as to whether going to try dummy again as feel we have given the pat/shush a good go now. Last night it took an hour to get ds to sleep but I feel it was more to do with his reflux (which is at it's worst at the moment) as he was desperate to get to sleep

Can I ask why did you introduce dummy late for your first?

Do you take your little ones dummy out when he/she is asleep?

Can I ask why did you introduce dummy late for your first?

I could equate using a dummy to the same thought process as breastfeeding.

While there are some parents that intend to use a dummy and bottle feed their precious first born child from birth, the majority of first time parents have a view of perfection for when they have their first child.

Most first time pregnant women think something along the lines of:

"My baby will breastfeed beautifully, will sleep easily without any props, self settle, I will be in-control with good routine and my baby will fit in with my plans perfectly. I will be the ideal parent and my baby will be perfect because I will not make any of these mistakes I read about."

So the dummy does not fit in with this plan. Therefore I think it is not unusual that a FTM will be resistant to using a dummy, it does not fit in with their plan for perfection. Just like failure to breastfeed, which many mothers face.

When you have your first child and become a parent, over the course of the first year you do your real learning. You learn that perfection is a pipe dream and impossible and that managing various aspects of (needless) guilt is par-for-the-course for a mother. Guilty because the mother feels she is not the perfect mother she wanted to be.

So why didn't my firstborn have a dummy early? Because I expected that I would give birth to Perfect Child who wouldn't need a dummy to get to sleep.

Suffice to say that my second and third all had a dummy from newborn. I suspect dummy use in subsequent children is inevitably higher because parents learn how useful they are with their first and so are less resistant to the idea.

My fourth (current baby is 7 months) was resistant to the dummy as a newborn. It took 7 weeks of persistence as she kept spitting it out and gagging on it. If I was a FTM I would probably have given up trying with the dummy, since it was being rejected. But by 7 weeks old she finally 'got it' and realised that sucking the dummy gave comfort. She was EBF at the time. No coincidence that within a week of accepting the dummy she was sleeping 11pm-7am without a feed.

From 4 months old I've been able to just put her in the cot awake (with dummy) when tired and she will go to sleep herself and without any crying at all. All night wake ups are also an easy case of leaning into the cot and re-inserting the dummy. Much better than pacing the floorboards rocking a screaming baby back to sleep - which is what we used to have to do with my firstborn.

Sorry for the epic post

I just feel strongly that parents should not feel bad about giving their baby a dummy for comfort. There is no need to be weary of the dummy. It is just giving your baby comfort, that's all.

FWIW my baby, at 24 weeks, can just about put the dummy back in her mouth in the daytime. (Which end of it goes in is 50/50 though!!)

At night it's a different story, but I leave a couple dotted around her just in case.