Teaching a 2yo to self-settle....help!

[WhatsForYeWontGoByYe]

I'm reaching breaking point...any advice gratefully received.

DD is nearly 2. She has never self-settled. Partly that's our fault - she was BF to sleep until she was 12 months, and then we tried a mixture of PUPD and gentle controlled crying (30s, then 1min, then 1.5mins etc). This worked pretty well, but we still had to do it every night. She never just went into her cot and fell asleep completely by herself.

Then she went through a bad phase of teething, illness etc and it just stopped working at all.

Fast forward to now, and we're still rocking her to sleep. It can take up to an hour or more. We've had the same bedtime routine since she was born - stories, a quiet bath, sleep sheep and pyjamas/bed. It's not prolonged, she doesn't get overexcited and she will be genuinely sleepy when it comes to cot time.

But she just won't actually fall asleep by herself. If we leave her at all she cries so hard until she's sick - and I mean, if we leave her for a minute or two, no longer.

So she'll want to be held and rocked. if we put her back in the cot she'll stand and sob and won't lie down.

I'm pregnant with DC2 now, and know I can't do this for much longer. Physically I'm already struggling to hold her for so long. She also won't fall asleep till at least 8.30/9pm.

But I don't know how to fix it. Ideally I'd like her to go to sleep earlier, and by herself or with minimal input.

She naps at nursery fine, and settles herself when she's there, so I know she can do it.

Any ideas/recommendations for someone who could help?

Can you put a mattress on the floor and just lie down with her until she falls asleep? You can then move onto sitting next to her, then sitting near the bed, sitting near the door until at some point you should be able to experiment with going out the door for a few minutes (I used to say I was just nipping to the loo and would be back) after about 6 months our dd was able to go off to sleep completely alone. It's not quick, but was tearless!

I bf my dd until she was 13 months and she was always struggling to fall asleep on her own. When i stopped breastfeeding I had to get in the cot with her until she fell asleep. However about a month ago my 3 month old dd grew out of her moses basket and we needed the cot for her. we decided to introduce a new routine with a new bed to my older dd. We kept showing her pictures of bed and generally got her really excited about getting a new bed but also said that mummy can't come into her big bed cos it's hers etc. First night it took her 10 mins to fall asleep(previously at least 1 h) now we have an agreement that mummy only is in her room with her whilst she is laying down and trying to fall asleep. My evenings are finally free and it's great. Only thing is that every now and again she wants to hold my hand whilst falling asleep but thats it. Maybe you could introduce something like it? I know how hard it is, especially when second one will make an appearance soon. x

My DD (18 months) is exactly the same....She wont self settle and will be sick if left to cry at all. Seriously, if I nip off to the loo she will cry so much she will be sick before i get back! When she wakes I have to cuddle her back to sleep or give up and bring her in to bed with me.

It is starting to get me down now and I am going to start trying to get her self settle from tonight. I think it is going to be a battle! I am going to try and get her into the cot when drowsy and just pat and shush and hope for the best....
So, no helpful advice to offer as yet, but just to say I feel your pain!

Sounds horrendous. With next baby I would take a different approach so that they learn to self settle as baby don't wait till they are two!

Heels, that's what i did with my first and she sleeps like an angel....took my eye off the ball with number two!