Should this be working by now? Pat shush

[cooperbug]

We have been patting and shushing our 17 week old baby to sleep for the last two weeks now as suggested by the health visitor and i don't know if it's working or not!

He previously (before the clocks went forward) used to self settle at night where we could put him in his crib and within about five mins in the dark he was asleep. A couple of nights after the clocks changed we moved him into his own room where we have a blackout blind thinking this would help him to settle. The thing is it doesn't become dark in the room until it is dark outside so it's not helping (if indeed this is the reason he is not settling to sleep).

Anyway with regards to the pat/shush thing we have done for two weeks now he can take up to 40 mins to go off and the whole time either myself or my husband does it he screams. When he becomes too distressed we pick him up but he still does not stop crying on us (arching his back and climbing up). if anything it's taking us longer to settle him as the days go on as when we first started he was going to sleep within about 15-20mins.

I really don't know what else we can try to help him to settle as he wont take a dummy, just spits it out. Has anyone had any success with this pat/shush technique?

Thanks

I think if he's previously self settled from wide awake on his own you're probably distracting him. Get some blackout curtains, in black and hang over the blind. Then go back to what you were doing before if it was working.

I need to take my own advice. Ds has been affected by the sunlight this year too

SIDs recommendation says baby should be in your room until 6 months old. If he was previously sleeping well in your room and he is now not sleeping well in his room, could you bring him back in with you for a while?

If you think it is to do with the light, I understand you can get blackout material that valcros directly onto the window frame, so that there are no gaps at all to let light in. Not terribly decorative, but if needs must.

Does/did your son sleep well in his cot for daytime naps or does he take these elsewhere? If he sleeps in the cot during the day, it would suggest that light is not the issue.

What are his daytime naps like in comparison to his bedtime?

What about middle of the night wake ups, how are they with regards to settling?

Thanks for replies, we took the decision to move him into his own room as our room is at the back of the house and much lighter than his nursery. Also he was waking more in the night in our room as we think we were disturbing him when coming into the room to go to bed and when turning over at night etc.

Daytime naps have always been a problem. He takes his daytime naps in the pram (being pushed outside) or in the car seat when out and about usually as soon as the movement stops he wakes. I have been trying to get him down for his first nap (8am) of the day in his cot so that I can get things done but it doesn't always work. Daytime naps are usually short up to 45 mins and the smallest thing can wake him. He often wakes up needing more sleep.

When he wakes in the night he usually (8 times out of 10) goes back down without any fuss after he has fed. He is drowsy from his feed but aware that I am putting him back in the cot I think. He might fuss for a minute or so but I have not had to go back in so far as he has settled off to sleep himself.

He wakes in the morning as soon as it's light in his nursery so looking back on my post I think this is probably the issue and I need to try some other sort of blackout. I have looked at the gro anywhere blind so might try that.

I was just about to start a thread about shush fucking pat. It is sold to desperate parents as something that works. I am proof that it doesn't always work. It would drive you insane and does little in the way of comfort for my baby. What is with the patting the back too? Babies sleep on their backs! Rant over.

Maybe start the settling earlier from last wake up. Maybe 45 mins at that age? Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along soon.

I know Mamab33 it he is driving me crazy, I dread every nap and bed time at the minute! Feel really stressed out about it all.

Don't know if I'm expecting to much from him but it's so hard when he used to self settle and now he is not. I feel I've created a bigger problem doing this as he cries as soon as I go into his nursery with him now bless him!

I don't know what my other options are though, for daytime naps I can go back to pushing the pram around the streets four times a day but night times I have to get him in the cot somehow.

We have the gro anywhere blind up at the window behind the existing blackout blind since Friday night and it has made some difference in that he's not taking as long to settle but still screams when I put him down and then when I pick back up still screams.

I really don't even know if he knows that I am in the room with him when doing the pat/shush, is that the whole point of it they are supposed to be reassured by your presence?

Mamab33 how old is your baby and how long have you attempted pat/shush for? Is the same thing happening for you?

If it was me, I'd use a dummy for sleep instead.

What is with the patting the back too? Babies sleep on their backs!

Because sleep training is not recommended for babies under 6 months old. By 6 moths old many babies are rolling and so changing positions in the night. I assume the back patting is assuming the baby being sleep trained is older.

OP what time does he have his last nap of the day & how long does he usually sleep for? We foyund that at about 4 months dd would fight 7pm bedtime like crazy if she sleeps past 5pm as although tired from a long day she simply wasnt ready for bed. Now at 5 months we have difficulty if she has more than about 20 mins before 5.
Conversely, overtiredness can also lead to difficulty settling too. Might be worth posting your routine see if we can figure it out. Hth.

Don't know if I should add he has reflux which is at a peak at the moment so feel that also may be contributing to things more right now.

Thanks Omama, my routine generally goes like this:

6am-6:30am wakes up and I feed straight away

7am until around 8am -plays, sits in bouncy chair whilst I shower etc

8am-08:15am put down for first nap of day in cot. Once asleep,will usually sleep for 45 mins. When wakes up play again or head out to group.

09:30am-09:45am feed

11am-showing signs of tiredness again by this point. If in car seat when out and about or pram will fall asleep easily. Sleeps for about 30-45 mins or until the movement stops.

11:45am play

Around 1pm-1:30pm feed

1:30-1:45pm tired straight away after this feed (sometimes falls asleep on bottle). If in house will attempt cot nap again, have occasionally transferred him into cot asleep or if not pat/shush. Once asleep sleeps for 45 mins to one hour.

2:45pm play

3:30 pm- feed

4:30-5pm approx-showing signs of tiredness again, walk out in the pram. Falls asleep in about ten mins. Sleeps for usually 45 mins but sometimes sound asleep and have had to wake him at 6 pm -6:15pm for bath

6pm-bath

6:30pm feed, very sleepy on this feed after bath and often falls asleep,on bottle after just taking 3-4oz or screams as he is overtired I think.

6:50-7pm take upstairs for bed.

7:15-7:30 pm-usually asleep by this time