Is this the start of separation anxiety ?

[Tillysmummy]

I've also posted this on the sleep deprivation thread ! After my one night of great sleep two nights ago, the last two nights she's been a minx again. Waking up twice and just screaming until I go and pick her up. I'm not sure if it's because she's still poorly, she still has a cough but seems well in herself otherwise. DH can't even settle her and normally he can - is this the start of separation anxiety ? I've also noticed that when I put her down now to play when normally she would do so happily she starts crying if I leave the room !

Yep, that's just how mine started! Perhaps if you call to her from the other side of the door without going in to her, she gains the comfort from knowing that you are there but learns that you can longer be at her beck and call. Mine has quieted now at night, we start getting her ready for bed a good half hour beforehand, getting her PJ's on, telling her it will be bed soon. I will say things like "Let's get ready for bed, let's read this story before I take you to bed, let's sing a song and then we'll go to bed" Once in her bedroom I'll read her another story telling her it's the last one before I put her in bed, and then she's usually ok as she's had plenty of warning and winding down time.

She does still wake up at 6.30am but now I just go in, tell her that everyone is still in bed and to be good and go back to sleep until mummy comes, she might cry for 5 mins after but this usually works.

If you can't bear to leave her crying do the controlled crying thing, go in after 5 minutes just to tuck her in, then after 10, then after 15 and so on. Each time she is being reassured that you are still there but you are not prepared to play with her or give her any more attention. Eventually she will learn that there is nothing to be gained by crying and so she will stop - that's the theory anyway!

It's a terrible time I know, but it will all be over in a few weeks and then you will be onto something new

Rhubarb,

I tried to leave her last night (although must admit don't get beyond 5 mins) but she gets SOO angry and her cries just get worse and then I am worried about her cough etc. As soon as I go in and cuddle her for a few minutes she calms down and then will be put down and go back to sleep. I know that this is the absolute DONT with a lot of sleep training methods but I feel like I need to hold her to reassure her and then she goes off again pretty quick. The problem is I guess she will expect it and that's what I need to break (if I am to get her over these wake ups) - I just find it so hard to leave her, especially while she's not a 100% well.

I guess this is the start of many challenges. Just when we thought we were onto a good thing with her sleep something comes to disrupt it !

Is she waking up and crying for you still? Or is she just doing this when you put her down? If she falls asleep straight away when you cuddle her then perhaps it is easier to just do this, especially if she is not well. How about putting the cot in your room for a bit so that you're not as disturbed when she does wake up? Give her 5 days to make sure she is fully recovered and then pop her back into her own room. See what happens then. If she wakes up and sees you there all the time, she might get out of the habit of waking up at all.

Dd was still waking up at 6.30am, but all I do is go in and tell her that we are all still in bed and to go to sleep, it was either that or listen to her crying until 8am when I got her up. After 5 days of doing this, this morning she actually slept through and didn't stir until I went in to get her. So sometimes they do need that reassurance until they are certain that you are there and are not going to leave them. I think with my dd that when she heard dh go out the front door in the mornings she got scared that we had both left her. If your dd is waking up not feeling well, she might need you there to reassure her that she is ok. Once she gets better and reasons that you are there all the time, even if she can't see you, she will settle down again.

Sorry I can't help more, it's one of those annoying phases isn't it? You've tried everything and then one day, they will just settle by themselves and you will wonder what it is you did! Good luck, let me know how you get on.