24 Month Old Wakes Several Times a Night

[karazeb]

Hi, I am really hoping for some advice re my 24 month old waking every night (usually 2-3 times +) He relies on me lifting him & holding him to get him back to sleep. This was ok, but recently is refusing to go back into the cot - he wakes up & screams when I try to put him back in. He's 2 yr old now & I'm so exhausted, I feel this needs to be sorted.

He is also sharing a room with us. I want to move him into his own room, but he is very close to being able to climb out of the cot when he's upset.

My gut feeling is that I have simply allowed him to develop a habit / dependence on me getting him back to sleep when he wakes (he goes to sleep fine by himself at bedtime, with me in room).

So what I have decided to try is: lifting him out when he first wakes, try to get him asleep and put him back in cot. If he wakes when I put him back in (or later on in the night), I tell him to go back to sleep but do not lift him. I've been doing this for a few nights now, & he does eventually go back to sleep by himself, but after a LOT of crying. I am hoping that after a week or so, this approach will help him learn to settle himself back to sleep. But... I am starting to doubt my own judgement - am I doing the right thing allowing him to cry himself back to sleep? I am always in the room right beside him, but it is just so hard to watch. I do feel that its starting to work, but I wold love some opinions on this please?

Thanks in advance x

As long as you are there with him, supporting, caring and helping him, then all you are doing is teaching him in as kinder way as possible to sleep without you. This is a vital and necessary skill he needs to learn, so you are right. You do know better than him that he needs to do this. You are not abandoning him to it, you are still there with him. He will get it in the end.

Thanks FATEdestiny. I find its all too easy to start doubting myself when he gets upset. Hopefully this approach will help him to settle himself, and I can then think about moving him into his own room. Thanks

Hi I have a 28 month old daughter and she woke up 2-3times in the night in my room as small home and brother who his 8 needs his own room. I found she would unsettle when I moved her into her cotbed but now in a single bed sleeps right through could you not take him out the cot and put him in his own big boy room

rach2713, that's exactly what's been in my mind as my bigger plan :) I feel its nearly time for him to get a proper bed as he's nearly getting himself out of the cot, and he does often waken if I make the slightest noise / move during the night.

I'm just fearful that he'll be out of bed roaming the room at all hours of the morning. It would also mean moving him into a room with 4 yr old DD, and there's quite a lot of sibling rivalry between them, sometimes aggression. TBH I'm getting desperate to get my bedroom back to myself again, but also dreading the change. My gut feeling is that he'd feel less confined in a bed and would probably sleep better.

I know exactly how you feel you know it's best for them to get a bugger bed but then a part of you doesn't want to as that's your baby grown up lol. I have found tho that she sleeps a whole lot better cuz I think she doesn't feel confined with the bars. She always feel sleep in my bed I would have to lift her to put her in her cot bed which would wake her up so I tried to lie her down in her cot bed but she would have none off it but the night her new bed was up she asked to go to bed and went straight in her bed and fell sleep with in 10 mins and slept all night and that is not like her at all. It is hard when you have limited space is there no way your 2 could share all would that be like world war 3. Cuz if they would could maybe see bout a bunk bed and make it fun for both off them

Hi, just wanted to add something- take or leave as you wish. Sleep consultants often advise that moving a baby to a big bed too young can cause problems- especially if they cannot already self settle. I would say go through the process of getting them to sleep through the night first and then move to bigger bed at 3ish when more cognitively developed. Saying that both my best friends children went into beds before they were two very successfully- but then they both slep 7-7 from 8 weeks old.

Yes they may advise you to do that but every baby is different if your baby is showing signs that a bigger bed is needed then be it why prolong the situation. My daughter woke up 2-3 times a night in the cot bed but as soon as she got in the single bed she slept through the night and even asked to go to bed where she wouldn't have before hand

Yep that's the thing I suppose, if I move him into a bed and it doesn't work out he'll likely point blank refuse to go back into his cot then. I am afraid of him falling out of the cot though, so the decision will probably be taken out of my hands pretty soon. What I'm thinking of doing is trying him in a single bed at nap times to get him used to it & see how he goes. Not making much progress on night time wakening though, he's crying so much at times that I just can't avoid picking him up.

You could work on teaching him not to climb out of his cot, rather than accepting that he will climb out of his cot and so moving to a bed?

Moving to a bed is likely to create more problems than it will solve. If he is trying to get out of his cot (by climbing), it will be far, far easier for him to climb out of a bed. Especially if there is a sibling in the room.

I would be consistently be saying "No, we lie down in the cot" as part of the sleep training you mentioned above. Teach him to lie down, sleep and be content in his cot. Then he doesn't need to be moved into a bed.

FATEdestiny at the moment he will generally take his leg down from the top of the cot when I tell him that he will fall & hurt himself. My DD fell from her cot head first though when she was just a bit older than DD is now, so I really want to avoid letting him get to that stage where he can climb or fall out before I can get there to stop him.

sorry, meant to say....when she was just a bit older than DS is now

My DD fell from her cot...

That's likely to happen if he's climbing out his cot.

It isn't inevitable or necessary for him to climb the cot sides, which is what I was suggesting working on. If he stops doing it, he won't fall out. Being physically able to climb out doesn't mean he needs to and will climb out, if he is taught not to.

If you want to move him into a bed, that is fine. I just don't feel you have to move him into a bed if your only reason for doing so is to reduce the risk of him falling from the cot. This could be done by teaching him not to climb out of the cot.

FATEdestiny - absolutely, I appreciate your point. And I know that some toddlers even younger than my DS are able to climb from cot, but this doesn't necessarily mean that they are ready for a proper bed.

With the situation as it is, I feel that we are waking each other up at night. DS doesn't attempt to re-settle himself if he stirs even a little at night - he stands up straight away and cries for me to lift him. He's such a light sleeper, if I make the slightest move or OH snores he will waken. But I don't think I'd be happy moving him into another room while still in the cot. I'd be awake all night worrying about him climbing.

Just wish I was making more progress with him self-settling at night, at least then I'd feel that I was making some progress with these issues.