The lure of bottles and dummies

[JoRichardson35]

Hi all, FTM, I have a beautiful 8 day old son who has been cluster feeding like he's stocking up for winter for the past 3 days and nights - sleep is non existent as he won't go down for more than 20 mins at a time. I understand that he's having a growth spurt and is increasing demand for milk to accommodate the growth, but at this rate I'm going to be useless to him as I am so ridiculously tired.
I am BF but am starting to really be tempted by the lure of bottle feeding as then my husband can help with night feeds and also by a dummy as I'm sure that at least 20 of his desire to get on the nipple iscfor comfort.
I want to do what's best for him - I know that you shouldn't introduce a dummy until 1 month old and BF is established or it can muck it up and that BF is better for him than bottle but I am seriously struggling atm :( I don't feel safe co sleeping (hubby is a deep sleeper and rolls around a lot) so am using a Poddle Pod at bed height next to the bed which worked a treat for a few days but now we're back to only sleeping for 20 mins at a time.
Apologies for the length of this, but any advice/opinions would be greatly appreciated. X

Hi ladies, midwife has just been and she's thrilled with him and he's reached his birth weight again so she's discharged us :D she said that the cluster feeding was completely normal for an expected day 8 growth spurt :) massive sigh of relief that he's been eating properly and plenty :) thank you all so much! Xxx

Kitty - this is it - we have to do what's right for us & our babies and that is a completely individual thing :) xxx

It is utterly utterly exhausting to start with, but it does get better.

2 things that helped us (but dd is only 14 weeks so I'm no expert!)

I started expressing when dd was 2 and a half weeks old, so dh could do one feed. I'd feed her at 8 or so, then go straight to bed. Dh would have dd, do the next feed, and keep her with him until she was hungry again. Sometimes I got lucky and had 4 or 5 hours sleep that way.

On.really bad nights, dh would take her downstairs between feeds, hold her, rock.her, anything, and I would put earphones in so I couldn't hear her crying. Even half an hour of unbroken sleep made a massive difference. Then he'd get some sleep in the spare room so he wasn't a complete zombie at work the next day!

I had a c section too. It will get so much easier over the next couple of weeks as you get more mobile

I'm bfing (week old baby) and as with my DS1 I introduced a dummy and bottle feeding expressed milk after a few days, havn't had a single problem with nipple confusion with either baby i wouldn't worry too much about trying them! I currently use a bottle to give expressed milk for the "last" feed as it settles him better for the night and then in the morning so i can get ready for the school run!

Well done! Back to birthweight by 10days is fantastic! The first few weeks can feel like one long growth spurt, but it does come to an end and it can be so easy then. I can't even remember when cluster feeding stopped but I flew to see family at 10 weeks and she had definitely stopped by then. In our case after the furious feeding got her back to birthweight we had a few hours cluster feeding followed by a long stretch of sleep (4 hours at 2 weeks, and 10 by 9 weeks). I know that doesn't happen for everyone but Breastfeeding certainly doesn't mean your baby won't sleep!

Thanks ladies :D so incredibly relieved! It's really given me the push to keep going with BFing, at least for the time being :) it's so daunting having a newborn - they don't tell you how much you will doubt yourself about everything! Xxx

Congratulations! My DD is five months old I I wrestled with the sunny issue at the start too. We used it at about two weeks after -too - much deliberation and it was a godsend. She's never had nipple confusion and uses to dummy when she's going off to sleep then spits it out with no issues.

We didn't have the same feeding issues that you're having in terms of frequency but it might help to think about what you'd advise someone to do in the same situation. Breastfeeding is so laden with emotion and guilt at the start when it's tough and you need to be kind to yourself. If you're exhausted you're no good to the little one and a little formula might spare your sanity and help you get some sleep. I'd suggest expressing but I'm not sure you'll fit it in!

Good luck OP, this too will pass

Thanks Holden :) yeah that's my concern with expressing - when to do it and the fact that I'll be taking from his supply between feeds so there won't be as much. Very much looking forward to him hitting the month mark so we can introduce a dummy - I think we'll all be happier and better rested for it! :) x

Those early days of cluster feeding and limited sleep are so exhausting. I have no useful advice other than to say it does get better. You can do this, but don't feel you are giving in if you use a bottle or dummy either, you need to do what works for you and your baby. Do you have anyone who can take little one for a while during the day so you can get some rest then?

I resorted to cosleeping in the early days to get some rest, but I know it doesn't work for everyone.

Yes the logistics of expressing meant I didn't do it. I just figured a few ready made formula cartons and a bottle meant we were prepared for if I had to go out and was longer than expected for example or if ill then dh could just formula feed baby and not have another thing to panic about.

In the end I fed both children for almost 3 years each. 2 years of that was tandem feeding ( yep ds2 was conceived when ds1 was 5 months despite constant breastfeeding). We used maybe 20 individual cartons of formula across 2 babies which wasn't bad tbh.

Kitty - ah that makes sense! May well give that a go! Lol about thumb sucking warning - people will find fault with anything!
Thanks Barmy it's always good to know others have been through it! :)
Art - ouch having 2 so close together!

xx

Hi. Just seen you message so this might be a little late but we introduced a bottle around 8 days as my little one had lost too much weight - she had a bottle of expressed milk once/twice a day.

She has never had any issues with bottle/breast confusion and has pretty much had a bottle fairly regularly since - on the whole breast milk (a small amount of formula which I bought for hopsital just incase which were going out of date and meant I could have a drink at Christmas!)

I hadn't heard about the dummy thing and so she had a dummy from about 2 weeks old as she liked to suck on me, finger anything!

She is now 7 months old - still EBF and has an expressed bottle every night at bedtime with Daddy.

I was advised with expressing initially to do it about an hour after a feed and treat it as a feed so if they have fed from left, express from right and then feed from left again.

I know 'empty' before bedtime as I have an oversupply and it means I am not awake at 4am in pain! You find your time to express eventually - mine used to be first thing.