Help with my little sleep fighter

[Sonics]

I have a 12 week old ds who has fought sleeping from day 1. He's never had the amount of sleep that the dreaded baby books suggest he should be getting and napping in the day has always been a bit of an issue. However it seems to be getting worse not better. We used to be able to sometimes get him down for a nap in the day but now he'll only sleep when he's on me or my DH. He struggles getting to sleep so putting him down awake isn't an option. and if we put him down when he's dropped off he immediately wakes up. We used to be able to take him out in his pram and that would guarantee a long sleep but he's started waking up crying in that now as well which is a nightmare as we've ended up carrying him whilst pushing the pram as he gets so upset.

I need to crack this as I can't get anything done in the day but don't know what to do. Do I just need to spend a painful few days persevering with putting him down, him waking up, me rocking him back to sleep etc? I have tried this once but got so fed up after 2 hours that I just gave up and let him sleep on me.

Anyone been through anything similar? I thought he'd be in some sort of daytime routine by now but every day we just have to go with the flow and try our best to get him to have a nap whenever we can. Any help gratefull received!

Have you tried a dummy?

Yes he's not interested, just spits it out. He did take it the first time and it helped settle him at night but he hasn't accepted it since

Sounds exhausting :(

Can I ask whether you had a straightforward birth? My DS was born via emergency C section after a very difficult and lengthy pushing stage. DS got stuck and had a lot of pressure on his head. When he was 5 months we went to a very good cranial osteopath who specialised in babies and within a week I had a different child. Might be worth looking into - good luck!

Try a sling. That's always been my solution. I've had 3 non sleepers. The ama wrap is brilliant up to about 4 months. The manduca sling is brilliant. The baba sling is great for cradling baby supportively as they sleep but you can't get much done due to the design. Invest in a sling. They are not cheap, the good ones, even second hand the quality ones are not such a bargain, but it's a very worthy investment. Manduca and Ergo baby are the best, most comfortable for baby and you.

Whatever you choose to do as an actual solution (and IMHO he's too young for sleep training except very gentle shhh pat), I would spend a week just letting him sleep however he likes to sleep. Get rid of all that sleep debt and anxiety and overtiredness. Then you can start again

I'd also try a sling - a stretchy wrap or a SSC or buckle wrap would work. Visit your local along library.

Thanks for your replies.

We have a sling and a carrier and he hasn't really liked either of them. We went to a sling library last week to check we're doing it right which we've been told we are. He did actually go in the carrier for the first time without crying at the library so I think we need to just persevere with it. We have a Lille baby (similar to ergo) and a close caboo sling

I had a forceps delivery and was fully dilated for quite some time so they could have had an impact I guess? Might try the osteopathy if things don't improve.

He has a cold now as well to add to his woes, poor little man

Try the close caboo as he will probably prefer it- I had similar problems with ds from birth and sling enabled me to get things done - I also lowered my expectations of what I needed to get done in a day. Ds getting sleep meant he was happier and that was most important. Other friends have had good results from cranial osteopathy. Good luck

I think the idea of letting him do his thing for a week is a very good idea. In evening just bring the Moses basket into the lounge so you can put him in when really well asleep. After a week you may start to see his own natural patterns emerge. He may only be a couple of weeks away from distinguishing night and day. It is probably just a time thing. I think an osteopath is an excellent idea too just as a double check as have a few friends who have found this invaluable.

I don't have a solution to offer, but I wanted to let you know that we are going through exactly the same thing and you are not alone.

I have a 10 week old ds who has also fought his sleep from day one. He prefers being awake and while he sleeps in his Moses basket overnight (though still wakes an average four times a night), he wakes up the minute you go near it in the day, even if he's in the deepest of sleep. I've also tried the pram, car seat, bouncer to no avail, so all of his naps are currently on me or my DH. I love the cuddles with him but, like you, I'm now at the point where I really need to get things done, so really need to find a solution.

He does sleep in his pram when we go out and if he's due a nap, and he also sleeps in a sling if he's walked for a little while first. The minute you stop walking he'll wake! I'd definitely persevere with the sling so that you can get things done when you need - our lo used to scream and cry when you first put him in it, but that's got less and less, and always stops once you start walking.

I've also started putting him down awake at a 7pm bedtime, with a nice bedtime routine beforehand. He does still need to be rocked until he's really drowsy, but he goes into his basket awake and gets himself off now, so this gives me a tiny bit of an evening to spend with my DH before I too go to bed in anticipation of another sleepless night.

The only other thing I'm doing is trying to keep his naps at consistent times, so he's at least building up a routine in terms of time, just not place. Like you, I also tried the PUPD method but stopped after two hours the first time and 90 minutes the second, as I just couldn't take any more of his crying. I'm not sure what to do next to try and get him to sleep anywhere else but on me, but I'd love to hear if you have any successes!

My LO hasn't slept a whole night since the day she was born, just coming up for 8 months now and I'm due back at work next week.

I'm getting to the angry stage now!! So very very tired!

Just to let you know that you are not alone!!

Sonics

I would recommend persevering with the dummy. It is not unusual that it takes a baby a while to understand what to do with a dummy (ie suck, rather than instinctively spit out) and then realise how it helps sooth to sleep.

But it will be worth it's weight in gold once the baby has it.

"Pacifiers" - Americans have this name for a dummy for a reason. They pacify and sooth a fractious baby.

Took us until DD was 7 weeks old to get her to accept and understand the dummy (with several weeks of consistent perseverance and trying even when she was having none of it). She was sleeping 11pm-7am (EBF) from 8 weeks as a direct result of the dummy.

Do not underestimate the power of the dummy.

Plus you have window of opportunity to introduce a dummy, after 6 months old (ish) and you'll be unlike to be able to establish it as an autonomous sleep aid. (Sorry Laurensmum, I realise this doesn't help you).