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Original poster

I'm so tired I want to cry

14 replies

yougotafastcar · 02/04/2015 02:48

DS is 3 years old (in 2 weeks) and DD is 1 week old.

I can cope with DD waking up, that's what babies do! But DS is just another story. He screams if I leave the room when he wakes up at night, that there is "noises", that he isn't tired, that he wants to come in our bed.

If he can't come in our bed he wants me to sit in his bedroom. I just want to sob, I don't know how to fix this but I have nearly been up for 2 hours and DD will be up for her next bottle soon. Its making me angry and snappy and miserable with DS, and I really don't want to be. Everyone says "oh but the sleepless nights are so worth it!" But at the moment I don't agree and feel like the biggest mistake of my life was becoming a mum Sad I feel broken and can't enjoy my DC because I am so tired.

Please, does anyone have any suggestions of how you get a 3 year old to sleep Sad

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MoreSnowPlease · 02/04/2015 02:54

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Naynay2408 · 02/04/2015 02:54

You poor thing! First of all take a deep breath, have a cup of tea or something and try and gather your thoughts. You are doing an amazing job, having two kids is really hard. Maybe think about what your 3 year old routine is in the day. Does he sleep?

Ratfinkandbobo · 02/04/2015 02:56

Can you put him in your bed, just so you can get some sleep? Not helpful I know but with a 1 week old and a three week old you badly need some sleep. If you have a partner can they go in Ds bed for a couple of weeks? I really feel for youFlowers

GlitterTwinkleToes · 02/04/2015 02:58

Bless you Flowers its horrible at this stage!
I couldn't read and run. Has your DS got a nightlight in his room? Make sure he's not scared of the dark or something like that? How long has he been doing this? Could it be feasible that you move him Back in with you for a week or two? No doubt he will want to be back in his own room then.
I'm hazarding a guess that he might be feeling a bit left out with your DD being born. Mummy and sister awake and he's missing out on all the fun iyswim?
Have you got a DP/DH who could help settle him back to bed at night? Or any support, so YOU can get some much needed sleep?
Don't beat yourself up, many a time I wished I hadn't become a mum after another horrendous nights sleep as you can see, tonight is no different its just the lack of sleep playing with you. I can guarantee you are doing a fabulous job Easter Smile

Ratfinkandbobo · 02/04/2015 02:58

Sorry that should say 3year old. I'm knackered too!

Original poster
yougotafastcar · 02/04/2015 03:05

Thanks for replying. We have a fairly small double bed so 3 of us is a bit of a squeeze, plus he fidgets so much I end up sleeping on the edge of the bed and get no sleep anyway. Then he moans "daddy is touching me, daddy is on my pillow" etc etc. He sort of co-slept with us until he was 2 years but at that point it became to difficult for any of us to get a decent sleep. Plus I worry the baby would disturb him.

I do have a partner but DS has a toddler bed so they cant swap places. DP helps but I don't see the point us both being awake and then neither of us being able to get up when DS wakes at 6. I'd rather he take both kids in the morning so I can sleep for a couple of hours.

DS doesn't sleep in the day any more, although I still think he needs it he just refuses to and screams the house down

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Original poster
yougotafastcar · 02/04/2015 03:09

He has always been not a great sleeper, even before baby but I know he does want to sleep in our room too, so I do feel bad. He has a gro clock, dream lite pillow and a lamp if he wants it on but he says the lamp makes a noise. We also leave the bathroom light on. He says the floor is making a noise Confused

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GlitterTwinkleToes · 02/04/2015 03:19

Could you put the toddler bed Back in your room for a few days? It maybe that deterrent that he wants to go into his own room and sleep. What I've found helpful but I'm unsure if your ds would like it, I've put a fish tank into dd room. The constants whoosing noise helps her settle to sleep when she's tired, and in the mornings she will sit in her bed watching the fish till she decides to wake us up around 7ish.

It seems alot for you to be taking on all of the night shifts, could you and your husband do some shift work say one night your turn, the next his. I don't know really how to help you with your ds son sleep. DD is 13 months and its hit and miss with her. Hopefully some more MNer's will be along soon to help you

ArabellaStrange · 02/04/2015 03:20

Is there any way you could make a little nest type thing for him on the floor in your room?
Or could dp go and sleep on the sofa?
Does he go to nursery at all?

MaMattoo · 02/04/2015 03:52

I feel for you (she says from the mattress on the floor in the spare bedroom). At 3 they have crazy imagination and it does get milder by 4.5/5 so it's not unusual for him to hear and imagine things at night.
We have given up on putting him back in his toddler bed at 3am and play musical beds. He comes to mine, either DH or I go to the spare matters and within minutes we are all asleep.
Have some tea, have a sit back and stare at your lovely babies! Congratulations!!

Rinkydinkypink · 02/04/2015 04:29

Honestly do anything you have to do to get sleep! Even if you all slept in the same room it wouldn't matter as long as your getting sleep!

I have 2 non sleepers and it broke me. I know what it's like. I gave up the fight when the second was very young. Like days young! My youngest is nearly 2 and sleeps through some nights (sadly not all). The day she moves to her big bed this will all go very wrong. I'm delaying it for as long as possible. My eldest is 7 and still gets 'lonely' etc.

All habits can be reversed in time. A new baby is a big deal no matter what age you are. Kids just want attention, love, security and a few boundaries and they will do the rest themselves.

Pick your battles op. Do whatever it takes to sleep!

WonderingWillow · 02/04/2015 04:45

Fuck it, I'd be moving his bed/mattress into my room. Him one side of the bed, DD in a Moses basket on the other side. It's just not something I'd be dealing with until I needed to, much less worrying about! Honest to God, if I had 2 DC sleeping in my room up until secondary school but we were all sleeping... Good enough for me. Seriously.

DaphneMoonCrane · 02/04/2015 04:47

DS1 did this aged 3.5 when DS2 came along. Like your DS, he'd never been a great sleeper anyway. He also got v anxious during the day (wouldn't be alone in a room at all, even the loo Hmm). He was waking every single night. It's slightly better now in that he only wakes once a week or so.

Basically, if DS1 wakes at night DH gets up. (He's actually done it tonight!) DS2 is 12mo now and still wakes 2-3 times a night, so if I got up with DS1 too, it'd kill me. Even if he's had to get up with DS1, DH still gets up with the kids every morning and lets me sleep - because he still will have got more sleep than me.

Original poster
yougotafastcar · 02/04/2015 11:13

Sorry I didn't come back last night, I couldn't see to type straight! We have had his mattress on the floor in here before, he still not a happy bunny unless he is in our bed with us. He refuses to even lie down on the mattress in our room.

At the moment all that works is sitting in his room until he falls asleep again - but this could be up to a hour. I wouldn't mind if it was just a quick cuddle/kiss/drink he needed!

Sorry to all those going through the same sleepless nights too! BrewCake

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