Just exhausted

[welshmum77]

Hi there, im not sure this is the correct place to write but I have a few issues with sleep or lack of. Im mummy to 3 dcs age 11, 12 and 1. My partner works away during the week which im finding pretty difficult. My little one goes to bed brilliantly but its hard keeping him there, especially around 1-4am. I have tried co-sleeping which doesnt work, he doesnt settle. I always make sure he is warm and dry, all the usual. He isnt hungry. Im currently using controlled crying for about the 4th time which is working but im just so exhausted. I work 3 days a week and I feel like im spending all my days worrying. My anxiety seems to be getting worse as the days go on. I worry about my little one's health, my health, is he being looked after properly when im at work. We are going on holiday shortly as a family and im already panicking about the baby and the pools and will he be safe. I feel like im driving myself mad. Im close to tears a lot of the time, but feel like this is a lot due to tiredness. Im not normally an anxious person but feel like its taking over my life. I used to exercise but feel like I dont have the time or the energy but I know it would do me good. Any advice would be appreciated. My dp is brilliant when he is home on weekends but through the week i feel like a wreck. Im taking Kalms at the moment to see if they help but not sure if maybe i need something a little stronger just to help me deal with the anxiety. Thanks for listening

So sorry to hear you're struggling. That sounds very hard on you. Did you have invasive thoughts with your last kids? I think a visit to the GP may be in order as this sounds like more than just a sleep problem really. Good luck.

I know how you feel, I also have 3dcs, my partner works offshore month at a time and when he's gone I am wired to the moon. In fact he has just left today and I can already feel the anxiety setting in. Lack of sleep magnifies every worry I have, do try and create opportunities to rest, but do try n exercise, I find a walk helps me calm down and rationalise my fears. When your OH works away you do tend to try and deal with everything yourself but try n talk over your worries because it can be amazingly reassuring. On the little ones sleep maybe even a light show or lullaby might distract and soothe back to sleep. Not easy and do speak to the GP if you feel things are beginning to interfere with your enjoyment of life as they should be able to help you with different coping strategies, be that meds or some kind of talk therapy, there are lots of different ways to help reduce/stop these thoughts and prevent them taking over your whole life, I did a CBT thing a few years ago and I still use some of those techniques for bringing me back down to earth when I get totally wound up.

I'm not surprised you're exhausted and anxious; sleep deprivation is just quicksand. If 1-4am is disrupted, that's your whole night up the spout really as you're not getting a decent uninterrupted stint.

No easy advice for you I'm afraid, but obviously if you can call in favours from family or friends to allow you to get a couple of good nights then do it. Even if it's only a temporary fix you'll get a day or two with a clearer head to get your anxieties in perspective and figure out what else you might want to change.

Does your son get good naps on the days he's in childcare? If not, that might be derailing your efforts to help him sleep better, hence you're having to do sleep training over again. Maybe talk to your childcare providers about backing you up with his sleep routines. Good luck

Thank you it helps to know im not the only one feeling like this. I got home from work last night and was in tears until I went to bed. I hate the dcs seeing me in this state. I think its time I went to docs to see what they recommend. I have suffered mild depression before but this time I cant seem to pick myself back up. Im a very sociable person and just dont feel like seeing anyone or doing anything. I know I expect a lot from myself, I like to have the house etc tidy before I go to bed, make sure the kids are all sorted which i know is what most mums do, try to get everything clear for the weekend so we can have family time. I feel guilty that im not spending enough time with my older 2 a lot of the time. Im in work now with puffy eyes and a headache from crying. I feel like im going mad. I know it will pass and everyone has these life issues at some point but this is the worst I have ever felt

Poor you, that sounds terrible. Going to the GP is a good plan. Someone told me that looking after yourself IS looking after your kids, which is kind of obvious but really true. Perhaps the GP could sign you off sick for a short while so you can recover from the exhaustion for a bit?

Stop prioritising housework over sleep and go to bed earlier.