I can't settle DS at night

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Hi, Im looking for some advice. My DS is 5 weeks old. He isnt a great sleeper. I know this comes with the territory of having a new baby but Im ebf and he will feed for hours at night. The problem is that he'll be asleep in my arms at night after a big feed and when I transfer him to the crib, he'll always wake up within a minute. DH can settle him fine but he wont settle for me and it can be quite upsetting and frustrating at night. I know he can smell the milk off me but not much I can do about that. He'll put the hands out searching for me also. I know he's young still but this is happening every night.
Any suggestions very welcome.
Thanks

Just go with the flow and certainly don't worry who he'll settle for or how. Things will change and change again and again many times over in the next few months.

You mention he isn't a great sleeper. At the newborn stage where you are you should be working on the basis of 'if not feeding, then baby should be asleep or trying to get to sleep' 24 hours a day. I'd be expecting no more than half an hour awake at a time at this age.

Good sleep promotes better sleep. So if your DS isn't sleeping well it might be because he is over-tired and needs more sleep than he is getting. Try settling him to sleep sooner.

A sleepyhead cushion (buy in John Lewis) helped our baby settle in her crib. I think it makes them feel a bit more snug. Didn't try swaddling though so not sure if that would also do the same.
Looking back I think that some of our DD's difficulties were over-tiredness and I hope that with second time round I might recognise this a bit sooner - easier said than done! Congratulations on your baby.

I second a sleepyhead! Amazing and our little boy loves it! X

Thanks for your replies. I will look into the sleephead.

Fate, on most days he doesn't sleep from when he wakes in the morning until 5 or 6 that evening. He might grab the very odd 5 mins in someones arms but that's it. This is despite all efforts..car and buggy treks, rocking, walking and all the usuals!

I found swaddling really helped my DD. I think it's becuase she still felt warm and cuddled when put down. Now she's 4 months and impossible to swaddle due to flailing arms and legs I put her on her side wedged with a pillow and rolled up towel at the front. I also found during weeks 3-6 for daytime naps a caboo sling was the only way to get her to sleep and gave me some hands free time.
She's a crap day napper now though, despite being tired she fights it so much!!!

I also found swaddling worked at this age . I think it helps them feel snug. Worth a try!

Oh gosh, no sleep during the day sounds awful! At the risk of being an mn stereotype - have you tried a stretchy wrap? My 7 wo dd is a real sleep fighter (I totally understand about not sleeping in pram or car) but the wrap works well. And I can sometimes get her from the wrap to the cot once she has dropped off. Sometimes.

Nano I actually have a stretchy wrap. He didnt like it when I put him in it, though I wonder if it was too tight as he really wriggled and squirmed unhappily in in till I took him out. Will try it again though.
Thanks

Given that you should be expecting around 16-20 hours sleep in 24 hours up to 6 weeks, not sleeping through the day is a big, big problem.

For the time being don't worry about anything else but getting your baby to sleep and feed. All the time.

My emergency solve all would involve a dummy, bouncy chair and sofa. a 60 or 90 minute routine should work for this age if you like structure, otherwise forget about the timing and just concentrate on the order:

(1) Full feed - at least two sides
(2) Dummy in, into bouncy chair (minus any play arch)
(3) Sit on the sofa and with your foot on the chair bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce that baby into sleep submission. Re-insert dummy as needed.
(4) Once 60 minutes has passed since you started feeding, stop bouncing and wait for baby to naturally wake up.

Then start again and repeat, repeat, repeat through the day.

After a few weeks you might want to stretch this to a 90 minute routine and introduce some awake time between the feed and dummy/bouncy chair.

Fact is you baby is getting way, way, way too little sleep and you need to focus on getting him to sleep pretty much all of the time until you've cracked it. Don't worry about associations or anything else - get that baby sleeping well and feeding well, these are all that is important for now.

Do you think lack of sleep in the day affects the sleep at night? I have been wondering this as my 8wo isn't keen on sleep in the day. I'm really trying to get her to sleep from being awake but in her cot and without needing to be cuddled but I'm finding this hard day or night! Any tips? She seems a really light sleeper too so even if she is asleep on me I can't transfer her without her waking!

IME daytime sleep drastically affects night time sleep. I wouldn't worry at all about how a baby is getting to sleep at this age, and certainly not until they're getting enough sleep.

Thanks. I think I'm being over paranoid about cuddling her to sleep and worrying I'm setting a rod for my own back and that she will only settle like that forever! How much sleep shld she be having in the day at 8 wo ?

At weeks mine were only awake for maybe an hour at a time in the day. It's far to early to worry about habits forming, for at least the first 3-4 months just literally get them to go to sleep and stay asleep any way you can. Nearer 6 months you can start thinking about weaning them off cuddling or rocking or whatever if you want to. DO WHAT WORKS now though

Great thank you! I think I am just overly concerned after a friend has a very clingy child! My lo is overtired now and not going to sleep so feed time now and then we need to go out so she should sleep in the car as eyes already shut now feeding!

My dd ended up sleeping for 3.5hrs when we went out so she was obviously tired! She has now eaten again and now playing. I think I wil do bath and pjs at 6:30ish then a feed but maybe she just stays down with us for now and give it another few weeks before really getting he bedtime routine sorted.