"Rapid return" not working, is there anything else we should try for 2.9yo who won't stay in bed?

[franch]

Particularly bad at bedtime (takes forever to settle, repeatedly pings back out of her room for no reason), but she also gets up several times most nights (occasionally not at all, but sometimes countless times).

Thinks rapid return is a great game.

Hardly ever naps in the day now.

Sleeps in toddler bed.

Help ...

You may have to hold the bedroom door shut after returning her - she won't like it I'm sure, but if you are calm and firm that you will not let her out when it is bedtime she will decide not to waste her time.

We tell DS1 he can have the bedroom door open and the landing light on only if he stays in the bed.

Could try a sticker chart with a reward for staying in bed all night - bribery!!

Or a stairgate on her door?

shaz, I think I may have to grit my teeth and try that. Hoping to avoid the stairgate furball but never say never ...

Well, DD1 slept 2h this afternoon (doesnt usually nap) so I put her down at 8 instead of 7, and told her exactly what you tell your DS1, shaz. And miraculously, she didn't pop out once! (So I didn't, on this occasion, have to brave the holding-the-door-shut approach.) What will happen tonight is another matter, but this feels like some kind of progress so thanks

Well, that miraculous evening was followed by a hellish night .....

Am going to try the sticker chart thing I think, followed by the stairgate if all else fails .....

Am getting to the so-shattered-I'll-try-anything stage .....

Hey Franch... you're up late!

You've got to give the bribery thing (door, landing light) a bit more time babe. Had to do that with the DTs, followed by holding the door shut for a couple of minutes, then opening it again. Took a couple of days and I also followed Richard Ferber's book "Solve your child's sleep problems" and the DTs were wonderful within a week. I love that man!

Yep, takes a week, the whole palaver holding the door. You have to be very clear about it. Also if she comes into your bed at night, take her back and tell her you will hold her door if she comes out again. It will work. We also did it for ds' nap. Sleep is non negotiable, otherwise you go mad..

Hi Mars , and thanks eastendgirl. Was having a few difficulties in that DD1 didn't care whether lights on/off, door open/shut etc (often called out for dark if it was light, light if it was dark etc). Her wakings in the night (as opposed to popping out at bedtime) were always one-offs - she'd go straight back to bed and stay there for an hour or so - so I could never get the chance to hold the door! However I started a sticker chart a couple of days ago (decorated with a lovely photo of her on her first night in her Big Girl's Bed, grinning her head off), and promised her a big fat new felt-tip pen if she got 5 stickers ... So far it's had a dramatic effect and she's really into the whole thing. We've had 2 entire nights' sleep in a row, plus she's decided to start napping again in order to earn extra stickers (not part of my original plan - crafty devil - she even said the first day that she was going to have 'five sleeps' and earn all her stickers on one go ... )

Anyway fingers crossed - things are certainly looking a lot rosier than they were, I'm starting to feel a lot saner and yes, you're spot on eastend, sleep IS non-negotiable.

Out of interest mars: can't find my ferber book (seem to have mislaid it in the move) but it def worked with DD2. Does he have specific advice for toddlers (in beds) as opposed to babies?

HELP PLEASE! My 6 year old has always slept well and has a settled bedtime routine- bath, story, cuddles etc. Now she refuses to settle, keeps coming out of her room, shouts, screams and bangs on the floor. She has also started getting up in the night and doing the same thing. Have read the messages about "holding the door". How does this work please? Does anyone have any explanation as to why this starts or other suggestions for stopping it? We are exhausted!

mikashu, I do sympathise and I think Mars's advice about reading the Ferber book is the best - I've now unearthed my copy and he provides real detail about the whole holding the door idea, and about attending to your child briefly at increasing intervals etc. It's definitely helped me. HTH

Thanks franch. Will do as you suggest and get a copy of the book...before I lose my sanity! Is the sticker chart still working for you?