Are my expectations making this harder??

[Cooper11111]

I have quite bad anxiety, I'm very goal driven etc and always set myself time limits etc. I think this is making my expectations a bit high. I just wanted your opinion really as if you sensible mummies can help me rationalise I think I would see sense.

My dd is13 weeks (7 corrected). She goes to bed at about 7.45 after bath and bottle- she falls asleep on her bottle, and I rouse her a little when I put her in cot but sometimes she is sound. She sleeps til about 2.15/30 then has a bottle then goes back down until 6.

I guess what I want to know is is this similar to you? Should I be stressing about the fact the pattern doesn't start from 7 til 7 and they she falls asleep on her bottle?

She must stir in the period she is in her cot? So she must self settle to some degree or not??

Thanks for reading!

If it is working don't change it. Not all babies will fall into the same routines.

That sounds great.
I consider my second to be a good sleeper and he started consistently self settling to sleep at 5 months. He still wakes up for one feed in the night now at 10 months.
He goes through patches of earlier waking and later waking.
What is it that you are worrying about? Nothing in your op is worrying

She's still very little to be expected to sleep 12 hours. My dd was about 9 weeks old when she went 9.30-5.30am. My son didn't sleep until he was 3 and a half all night.

All babies are different. Go by your baby and her needs for sleeps and feeds.

I wish my 1yo slept that well. That's fantastic for a newborn

Stealth boast ?

Sounds like she's doing great!

Sleep associations are only a problem if they're a problem iyswim. So if she was waking every 45 minutes wanting milk so she could get back to sleep the she has an unhelpful sleep association that you need to address. If, however, as your DD is, she is resettling herself at night and only crying out when she's hungry, then the fact she's falling asleep on the bottle sometimes is not really an issue.

Congratulations on your baby girl and try not to worry (I know it comes with the territory to a certain extent but still...)

Honestly, that sounds fantastic for a 7 week old- and I do think you should be using her corrected age, especially if you're someone who tends to have high expectations.

I think you ssound like you're doing an excellent job and have a happy and settled baby.

That's amazing, sleeps much better than my 16 week old.

Mine does midnight- 1:30am Breastfeed to sleep, wakes again at 3 then breastfeed to sleep and wakes at 6:45.

Hardly naps at all during the day. Maybe a 30 min nap at 12ish, another at 15:00 for 20-30mins and another around 8ish. That's on a good day, it's not unusual for her to not have a nap at all.

Thanks for your replies. I guess it's the sleep association I'm worried about, perhaps she doesn't stir in the night and therefore doesn't call out. I keep reading about this four month regression thing on here and panicking I suppose, thinking she will wake multiple times and need me to drop off again.

I'm terrible with things like this, never enjoy the moment and always building to next potential problem .

A little voice is telling me I should be chuffed with this but my anxiety shouts it down by creating new worries!

Also, napping in the house in the day seems to be an ongoing slog ATM!

My 9 month old does 6pm-5am 6pm-5am, has a bottle then back down til 6.45. But it has been a long road, at 13 weeks he was waking two or three times for feeds and comfort . My dd slept 7-7 from about 12 weeks .. All babies are different and your little one will get there ..

If you're worried about what's 'normal' spend some time browsing the sleep threads......you'll find most people have issues that will make your baby's sleep seem like a dream! My LO wasn't too different from yours at same age, hit 16 weeks and started waking hourly.....then started self settling and sleeping through just after he turned 6 months. So whatever your baby is doing now, it will change, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. Try not to worry.

my DS was like this up til xmas, then the 4 mo sleap regression hit in combo with teeth, a bad cold, eczema, rolling and sitting skills and possible food allergies. we're JUST getting back to one feed and a couple small resettles a night this week at almost 7.5 mo. expecting to enjoy this for about a week before him working on crawling or something messes it up again. for me and DH, it's whatever gets us through the night, so DS was bounced, dummied and swaddled within an inch of his life. we've just had to ditch the swaddle and it's actually worked out as he's finding the dummy himself now and saving us a running trip upstairs 10x an evening! enjoy the phase and don't worry!

That sounds great, really nothing to worry about at all. At that age, feeding makes them sleepy. Simple as that. She won't always need a bottle to drop off, so ignore all the "rod for your own back" nonsense (my least favourite phrase in the world these days).

Be prepared for the fact that she will have phases where sleep patterns seem to be going backwards, and that will be normal too. Teething, developmental leaps, separation anxiety - there are lots of spanners that get thrown in the works in the first year. If you are very goal oriented you will find that hard, because you simply can't control it. Adjusting your expectations now will help keep you sane during the tough bits, and in the meantime, relax and enjoy what sounds like a very good nights sleep for such a small baby.

Sounds frickin amazing to me!

It is hard to accept that though that you can't really project-plan a baby's sleep. I get that. In a perfect world maybe but life is not black and white. I'm always much more stressed when relying on the baby to 'perform' (ie sleep when I want her to).

Thank you everyone! I know you are right really . It's probably me not dealing with lack of control well! Believe it or not this is my second baby ha. I should just stop expecting her to be a robot I guess. I know it could be worse, I'm just rubbish at dealing with the what ifs!

Try and roll with it as best you can. In my experience as soon as you think you've cracked it something comes along (illness, etc) and it all goes to pot!

It sounds like you are both doing amazingly!

That is totally amazing for a baby of that age. Enjoy every night you get like that. Be grateful. No rods being made. Might not last like this, but on the other hand, it might. There's no telling, and personally I don't think anything you do / don't do now makes a difference. ...

Have you ever considered CBT to help with your anxiety? My sister is doing it and it sounds v useful.

Hi Widgeon, I'm a psychologist myself so I know how I should be thinking etc. It's just sometimes hard to be objective about yourself but would agree CBT is excellent!!

Ha ha should have kept my mouth shut! Been up twice tonight!!

That sounds amazing, don't change anything !!! When she's a bit older you can change bedtime routine so she doesn't fall asleep on bottle. But for now it's working, well done and enjoy the sleep!!