How can I get my toddler into his own bed.

[kikki]

When my son was born I bought a cot and moses basket and he hated both. Even if I transfered him gently as soon as he touched the sheet in either he would wake up screaming. I eventually gave up and never used the cot or moses basket. My husband left us when our son was 18 months old and my son and at a time when I should have been encouraging him to sleep in his own bed, I kept him in mine to stop the bed from feeling so empty after the absence of my husband. My son is now four and has his own room but refuses to sleep in their. He is petrified of staying in there on his own. I don't mind him in my bed but I don't think it is good for him to stay in it much longer. How do I break the pattern?

Poor you - it must have been a traumatic time. Why not start by making up a bed for yourself in his room so you can sleep in there together? That way he'll accept the room and you can then work on getting yourself out - maybe sometimes just pop downstairs for a bit on some pretext - eg accidentally on purpose leave the tv on so you have to go down and turn it off. Then you can gradually increase the time you're away from the room.
He'll be starting school soon, so he will hopefully be more used to being separated from you? He'll probably want to have friends to stay, which will be so exciting he'll forget about being scared.
When you discipline him, don't send him to his room - it shouldn't be somewhere to be sent as a punishment. Does he play in there happily during the day? Does he have a nightlight so the room isn't too dark?
Don't worry too much about it 'not being good for him' to sleep in your bed. You have encouraged him to stay with you at a sad time for you, which is going to make it more difficult to break the habit, but even if you do nothing he'll eventually want to sleep in his own bed. You're not going to harm him by allowing him to sleep with you.