DD (4) previously brilliant sleeper now waking in the night and/or v. early

[LexLoofah]

Sorry, long one but want to give full info ...

DD who is 4 was brilliant at sleeping as a baby and is still very happy to go to bed and falls asleep quickly and easily herself BUT for the last few months she has started to wake in the night and come in with us. She drops off again quickly but then I am awake for hours. If she does stay in her bed she wakes up earlier than we would like (5am), happy and raring to go.

The chronic sleep deprivation is killing me, I could have put my head down on my desk and slept at 9am this morning, now I have that 'not enough sleep' headache.

We have tried putting her back in her bed but then about 10 minutes later she is back up again and I am too tired to repeat it over and over. We have told her to stay in her room until it is light outside and she says 'OK' and then comes up anyway so don't think a sleep training clock will help here. If she does stay in bed we make a big deal about it in the morning.

She occasionally naps for an hour in the afternoon if she has had a really busy day but still goes to sleep at her usual 7pm bedtime.

When we ask her why she is getting up she makes something up about her dolly keeping her awake so not sure why.

She still wears a nighttime nappy and is a very heavy wetter so maybe it is the need for a wee waking her? We tried lifting her on the loo before we go to bed but she just gets really grumpy and does not have a wee.

One suggestion we received was to wake her just before we go to bed to 're-set' her sleep cycle so she would wake then and not at 3am. Worked the first 2 nights then since then whenever we do that she comes in with us half an hour after we have gone to bed and still wakes up early!

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it a phase or can something be done?

thank you

Firstly, all this may change when the clocks go forward next week.

Not all children need 12 hours a night, in fact I'd say 10 to 11 hours a night are more normal at this age. So maybe when the clocks change, go to an 8pm bedtime (which her bodyclock will think is the usual 7pm) and then the wake up will shift forward an hour to a slightly more reasonable 6am.

My 5 year old goes to bed at 7.30pm and is up somewhere around 6.30am, which is fine for us because we have a school run to do.

Aside from that, consistency is key here. You just have to keep taking back, taking back, taking back. It is not about getting cross or angry. Not about explaining time at this age, just repetition and awake time ques.

You mention clocks not being helpful but the groclock will give her a visual que for when she can get up. This is vital otherwise how will she know when her get up time is too early or not? It also gives you a calm line to repeat with each return - "It's not morning time yet, the star is still showing"

I think this technique has a name - rapid return. It basically means with every single get up or wake up, you immediately return her straight to bed, lie her down and say the same line ("It's not morning time yet, the star is still showing, stay in bed until morning"). Eventually, if you are consistent, they get it.

Fate thanks for responding.

Put her back twice last night although would not be classed as rapid return, I need to work on that. She snuck back in later once I had gone back to sleep though so will need to just keep on doing it as seems to have now become a habit more than her really needing to.

Will sort out her middle of the night visits before tackling the early rising, that is not too bad after a decent sleep but is too much on top of a bad night. 5:30 would even be OK as we too have an early start for school and work, just want both of us to have enough sleep.

We did have a gro-clock with a sheep that was asleep/awake for DS when he was little but he never took any notice of it, will think about getting another one though.