13mo waking several times and will not go back without milk

[littleraysofsunshine]

I've posted before but he just wants nursing each time he wakes.which is about 3 times on average, every hour some nights.

We've introduced cows milk along with his bedtime breastfeed. But he's still waking lots.

He's in our room right next to me in his cot at the minute until we move

I feel so bad but I can't keep feeding him if it's not helping the matter? I'm exhausted. He fidgets himself awake

??

I have no advice at all, but you are not alone! I'm in exactly the same position with my 11 month old, and I'm on my knees... hoping someone will be along with advice soon

He will keep waking if you give him milk. Why wouldn't he? I would go cold turkey on milk at night he doesn't need it.

I will suggest that if you aren't happy giving milk at wake ups then you should stop. I know that's not easy though. my 17 (!!) month old is still having milk in the nights. I wasn't bothered as it comforted him and he was sleeping otherwise but he has started staying awake after milk for hours, he's just using it as an excuse to get up now!! so tonight I'm saying no milk and he stays in his cot. we will see how long before I cave!!

Really you just need to decide if it is acceptable or not for him to be fed at night, make the decision and stick to it.

It is perfectly acceptable to not feed a 13 month old in the night. There will be some tears and tantrums in dealing with the fall-out of the decision, but it will be worth it when you are both getting better sleep.

How supportive is your partner at night?

I have always swapped sides of the bed with my DH when the time comes that I have stopped feeding in the night. For a time he does all of the settling in the night.

He has a breastfeed and cows milk before bed. And he usually wakes once I go to bed. Maybe this will change once he has his own room...

I'm just trying to think of how he can sleep better without CIO.

Last night I fed him, he then had cows milk at 10. Woke at 12 until 4:15. Just really restless but half asleep. His sisters had chicken pox so maybe he's getting it.. But even so I think he's only ever slept 9-4 once in his short life lol

CIO is not being suggested here by anyone. Not least because it would be impossible to leave baby alone to cry when he is right next to you in bed.

The child crying does not mean it is Cry It Out. He will cry because he is not being fed. But as long as you are there for reassurance, care and with constant attentiveness - then he is by no means being left to cry it out.

There is no magic wand that will make him go to sleep without feeding without any upset or crying. Well, not unless you are prepared to wait a long, long, long time for that to happen.

Last night was the second night of no milk between bedtime and getting up. Woke at 10, has some water, was a bit cross but settled with a cuddle and back in cot. Slept until 4! the longest single stretch for many months. Came into bed with me then as was very cross, but slept eventually until 6.30. There were tears, and lots of them, but at no time did I leave him crying, and I think that some of it was anger rather than being upset/ hungry as such. Fingers crossed that it wasn't just a fluke

That is fantastic news Ithink

Tonight and the past few nights has been

Breastfeed 7:30
Wake and cows milk 10:20
Sleep
Wake at 2:00
I tried bringing him in with me, cuddles, and patting. Patting back in his cot. Now I've just given a sip of water and calpol as he seemed a bit hot and he's nodded off.

So thirst? But even if I offer water he's still going to wake expecting that right?

I know he's still small, and breastfed babies digest it faster, but he's having cows milk along with this at bed time so maybe it's just thirst and the comfort? I keep thinking teething as well, development frustration as he's almost walking, all these things. We've had chicken pox in the house so he might be getting that but even so, he's only ever slept 9-4 and that was once when a couple of months old.

It's such a bittersweet thing as I want to comfort his needs but also I have needs which is sleep at night ! Lol got to laugh or cry....

It's hard not to compare, question if I'm doing anything different but all kids are different aren't they. He's my third.

Two girls before him breastfed to 13 months and 15 months with supplements of cows milk at 12 months and 14mths. First slept through at 12 months as moved into own room. Second girl slept through at about 15 months moved in with sisters room.

We're moving in a few weeks so we will try his own room or in with sisters. I just feel guilty for not comforting him with milk sometimes as I know he loves it but it's no excuse to use me as a dummy basically to soothe back to sleep... Especially when I did all this night weaning before with the other two.

I sound delirious now... Sleep deprived! Probably don't make sense!

The other night it it was
Breastfeed sleep 7:30
Cows milk 10
Wake 12-4 restless
Water- have in with a breastfeed
Wake at 6

Awake again!