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Original poster

Semi Cosleeping 3 year old Will. Not. Go. To. Bed/sleep

16 replies

PickledLily · 14/03/2015 21:22

DD usually falls asleep within 10 mins in her own room with me sitting at her side while she strokes my arm. She then totters in to our bed at some point around midnight for the rest of the night.

Tonight she is refusing to sleep in her room and wants to be with me in our room. I've tried leaving her to it but she just chatted to herself about how she missed mummy and wanted to be with me. I brought her back down stairs whilst we ate and now DH has taken her up and she is beside herself, crying, wailing and not going to sleep. What do I do? Tonight, and from tomorrow? She says her room is scary, but she already has a night light on.

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/03/2015 00:38

How are things now? Has she settled yet?

Original poster
PickledLily · 15/03/2015 03:35

I went in and she eventually settled, clinging to me saying I want mummy. She's now in with us, fast asleep but wrapped around me and won't let go! I think she may be having a development leap, as she seems to be regressing (says she wants to be a baby, only wants mummy).

Not looking forward to another evening of fighting to get her to bed. Any suggestions? Even though she's shattered at bed time she won't let herself sleep.

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Woodenheart · 15/03/2015 03:47

Even though she's shattered at bed time she won't let herself sleep.

The only thing I have seen on MN that worked was when a poster was going through this and was advised to make bed time much earlier, as her DD was so overtired,

It transformed everything, literally overnight Grin

But its just a thought!

redcaryellowcar · 15/03/2015 05:53

I agree with pp, ds 3 1/2 is much more clingy at bedtime if he is tired, he goes to bed some evenings at 6pm.

Original poster
PickledLily · 15/03/2015 08:20

Ok, might give that a go. Thank you.

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PatterofaMinion · 15/03/2015 08:26

I found that if I kept a nice bed ready for them, in their room, and just waited, then by the time they were about 4 they would fall asleep in there without any persuasion.

Especially once they started school. They are just so knackered that it doesn't matter to them any more Smile

Don't worry, it won't be forever.

PatterofaMinion · 15/03/2015 08:27

I mean they would fall asleep and stay asleep. I think sometimes it just isn't worth the stress of trying to persuade them iyswim?

I'd probably just roll with it for now. My mother always tried to convince me that they would never sleep alone if I didn't break the pattern but she was incorrect Smile

Needsweetstosurvive · 15/03/2015 10:01

I think you will have to choose which you want to do, persist and try to keep her in her bed all night or let her in with you from bedtime. I think it's a bit mixed messages otherwise. They don't know the concept of time and probably confusing for her when you let her into your bed sometimes but not others.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/03/2015 11:24

Could you put her to sleep in your bed? Do you think that might work? Seems a bit against most current advice but I'm sure we did it for a couple of night with our dd around the same age.

Elizabeth Pantley has also written a no cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers. Might be worth seeing if your library have a copy Smile

Original poster
PickledLily · 15/03/2015 12:49

I've resisted putting her to bed in our room as I didn't want it to become a habit and she has always quite happily gone to sleep in her room.

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledLily · 15/03/2015 12:53

Posted to soon! I also think DH would go up the wall if she started off in our bed. He is keen to get her staying in her own room all night as soon as possible.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/03/2015 13:15

I know but sometimes it can work out for the best, she might actually find that she prefers her own bed rather than being in your room without you.

If DHL is keen to get her in her own room, have you talked about letting her in your room at night? Is he willing to take her back to her own room and settle her each time?

Original poster
PickledLily · 15/03/2015 20:48

So another repeat of bed refusal tonight. I took her into our bed, but she just fidgeted and then said she didn't want to sleep, she wanted to play. Much muttering and swearing under my breath, I eventually took her downstairs, she ate with us, back up for a story in her own bed and now she's fast asleep. Maybe she really wasn't tired enough after all. Blush

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/03/2015 21:00

Oh dear. Does she have a nap in the day and what are her awake and go to bed times?

RubyMay82 · 15/03/2015 21:11

Reading this with interest !
My 2 year old generally goes to sleep no bother, sleeps all night then gets up around 6-7am & comes in for a cuddle with me until the alarm goes off,
She's going through a phase of waking around 4am -
This can work 2 ways.
A: let her jump in with me, straight back to sleep
B: she screams & screams until I give in anyway & let her come in with me.
I worry that she'll get in the habit & refuse to sleep in her own bed but try to tell myself she always goes to bed no bother & usually sleeps through.
I think when you're getting up for work/ other kids/ commitments sleep is the priority & I just let her so we get more sleep & don't have a battle.
Part of me thinks yikes am I going to share my bed with my daughter forever.
Maybe sometimes they just need a cuddle/ comfort/ reassurance (bit like us!)
I don't actually mind I just don't want to create a bad habit and want her happy sleeping in her own bed.
Then I think I'm making a worry out of nothing...
There really is no right or wrong is there ?
Absolute minefield though!

Original poster
PickledLily · 16/03/2015 08:48

Oh 4am wake ups. Yes we had those. Hideous. DD has always been an early riser. You have my sympathy.

DD has more or less dropped her nap. She still has one once a week just to top up. She's been ill though and shattered by lunch time so she had a nap but may be didn't need it. The problem is she has sleep apnoea/tonsil problems (we are seeing a consultant) so she never sleeps well and wakes up tired even if she does 'sleep'. She's awake any time from 5.30-7 and is asleep by 7.30, or an hour later if she's had a nap. But that's not sleeping straight through, she normally has 1-3 hours where she's awake or disturbed by apnoea.

Anyway, last night she slept all night in her own bed!! That never happens. I don't get it Confused

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