Help me! Breaking point with 11mo.

[ilovetosleep]

Hi, I'm looking for some advice on where to start with 11mo DS2.

We are in a hideous place with sleep. It's not a phase - it's been like this since around 3 months when he went on a prolonged nursing strike and would only feed at night time.

He is fed to sleep at every sleep, during the night he sleeps 7-10 and then every 2 hours until 6.30am, and needs feeding every time (bf). During the day he naps 830 for an hour and 1pm for 1.5 hours.

So where do I begin? I'd love to carry on feeding to sleep but I imagine thats the first thing that needs to stop! I don't mind doing one night feed. As far as I can see, self settling at bed time, night weaning (how the hell?) and naps are three separate jobs to tackle and I think doing them all at once would be too much for all of us. FWIW I am really happy with the nap situation although possibly he sleeps too much during the day. I'd love to keep feeding to sleep for naps but if this is going to be too confusing for him if I'm going to stop feeding to sleep at bedtime then I guess I'll have to stop that too.

One thing I'm worried about is that if I cut all feeds to sleep/night feeds he'll get no milk. He is dairy intolerant and so needs br/feeds in his diet. Yet he will not feed out and about/in public/anywhere but in bedroom. So I really need to keep on feeding at nap times if possible.

Also, CC/CIO is out, for sure. I like gradual retreat type methods.

I would like to start something this week but I don't know which should come first, self settling or nightweaning, and I just need a plan to follow!

Help!
Thanks in advance

Goodness, I could have almost written your post about my 11mo DS2! Only differences are that he takes his naps one hour later and although breastfed, he has never fed to sleep. He settles himself in his cot at bedtime and doesn't get any feeds between last feed at 6.30pm and morning feed at 6.30am. When he wakes either me or DH go in, tuck him in and sometimes able to walk out again but usually have to pat his bum to settle him down. Also gets rocked until drowsy for naps and I'm happy with this as he knows he is getting put down and settles into a proper sleep after the drowsy rocking. So sorry, no advice but just to let you know you aren't alone! We do occasionally get the odd 4 - 5 hour stretch but he is teething his molars and took his first steps yesterday so the longer stretches have gone out the window for now. One night last week he did 7.30pm until 11.30pm then 11.45 until 2.45 then 3 until 6.45! Two wake ups. That was heaven for one night only.... At least I know he can do it if he feels like it....

Thanks for the reply. It's made me realise I really need to nightwean because I wouldn't mind him waking every two hours if someone else could pat him back to sleep! I still don't know what comes first, self settling at bedtime or cutting the refs though.

We also really need to cut feeds as he's nearly one and has a rubbish appetite fr solid food. I am sure he gets 90% of his calories from bm!

I know a lot of people think it's quackery but when DS was about 6.5 mo I was at the end of my tether with night weaklings (feed for an hour, sleep for an hour) and a friend recommended a paediatric cranial osteopath. I would have given anything a go at that point so booked an appointment. She didn't seem to do much manipulation (to my eyes) but that night he slept from 10 till 7. He had never slept more than two hours together at night so I was amazed. DH was a bit more sceptical but DS slept through from that point on. We took him back again for another appointment only because we had booked it when we went in for the first (not expecting such success straight away!). If you are in the West Mids I could give you the details if you want. Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestion but we have been seeing a co since birth. It helped initially but not so much recently.

I should also add he's had severe reflux and food intolerances hence not wanting to do cc etc. I need to know he's not in pain so want to be with him. Although I'm pretty sure that side of things is under control Atm.

Interestingly I've just started trialing my DS on a dairy free diet as I think he may be dairy intolerant. What symptoms did yours show may I ask? I only cut out night feeding a month ago but we were only down to one at that point anyway. We worked on self settling at bedtime initially.

Our intolerances go back to before solids - at around 3 months DS went on nursing strike with severe reflux and very painful tummy. I cut out dairy initially and them gluten and egg and soya too. Since ten we have tried a couple if re-introductions - main symptom with gluten was prolonged night wakings with unbearable screaming episodes, accompanied by several days of diaharrea and vomiting. He has never had dairy directly so we are waiting until he his one before we do a dairy challenge (and once I have forgotten the trauma of the gluten trial!)we are fearing up to trying self settling at bedtime tonight. I do t really know how to start- do I wake DS up after his feed? I have neve managed to keep him awake after a bf!

Ah, mine doesn't have any symptoms like that. I've never managed to get my DS to fall asleep feeding, used to wish he would when he was younger but glad he didn't now. I feed mine then give him a cuddle and whisper to him how much I love him and kiss his face before putting him in his cot. He then usually sits/stands up and I lay him down once he gets bored of that. You need to find a way of comforting him to replace feeding. We established bum patting from about 3 months. To get him to self settle was a slow process but basically I used to pat his bum if he cried then stopped patting as soon as he stopped crying. If he started again I would comfort him by patting again then stop as soon as he stopped crying etc. We progressed from there to just hand holding. Now he just hold my hand to fiddle with my wedding ring for a few minutes then he pushes it way himself, rolls over and goes to sleep!