What the hell is going on? Sleep cycles

[NaiceNickname]

DS is 11 weeks and his napping is bloody awful, its really beginning to stress me out. Last night he slept from 9 until 7.15 this morning for the first time, waking every hour from 4.30am for his dummy to be put back in which I known is brilliant for his age. He usually has one feed in the night anywhere between 2-4am.

So up we get, he has a feed, and I put him back down for a nap at 8.45am as I noticed him yawning and getting a bit unsettled.

It took him 30 minutes and a few cries to fall asleep, doing all of this with his eyes closed... and now he is awake and chatting away to himself 20 minutes later!

He without fail will wake after every sleep cycle or before during his daytime naps. Very rarely will he sleep through one, always needs shushing and bouncing into the next.

At night... no problems at all. Sleeps through the cycles and only wakes for his feed.

So what the fuck why is his daytime sleeping so different? He is still very obviously tired, he's starting to whinge a bit now as I type this and now I'm going to have to abandon hot cup of tea again and see to him.

Any advice please? I put him down for a nap in the same place he sleeps at night, he is swaddled, has a dummy, is tired but not overtired... what am I missing?

I guess you should be glad that he sleeps during the night so well. My 1 year old still does not sleep during the night and it has gotten beyond tiring now. But during they day he takes two long naps. It just that i think all babies are different. Yours is too small at the moment to really know whats going on. Is he really tired though if hes sleeping well during the night? Maybe his discomfort or whinging is down to wind or something else?

Night sleep sorts itself put before day sleep. And tgen early wake ups is tge last to fall into place. Can't remember where I read this but it's certainly been true for both of mine. Naps tend to be lighter sleep so it's muh easier to wake from. By nighttime babies are usually exhausted so sleep more deeply.

Daytime and nighttime sleep are different animals. It came as a surprise to me as my first child was such a great sleeper it wasn't evident at all. He always slept - daytime and nighttime - how I wanted and expected so I never had cause to think/read about it. Number two was much more tricky and now I'm more aware.. If the baby is not a textbook, perfect sleeper most likely the harder parts and the last to fall into place, as mewkins mentions are naps (particularly the ones later in the day) and 4am onwards for night sleep.

You are certainly correct to expect a nap 1-2 hours after waking and a couple more during the day, as many as you need to get through the day, considering they are short. Micro naps are a total pain and indeed it's because he can't move from one cycle to the next, even if he can at night in his deep sleep. It's frustrating but here is a positive - because daytime sleep and nighttime sleep are different, babies generally seem to deal with amounts of attention and types of sleeping arrangements between day and night sleep - I was really worried that 'helping to sleep' during the day would mess up his ability at night, but it was not so. Motion was key in my baby's case and he slept in a hammock a lot during the day when he was little, sometimes still does at 16 months. His daytime sleep did improve and super early mornings stopped, but he'll never be a clockwork, sleep anywhere baby, like his brother.

My advice, should you want it, is to at least attempt one proper nap at home everyday (the first one is a good one if it suits you) and if the rest are in the car, pram, carrier whatever then fine. Try not to have firm expectations or think about it too much (I know that can be hard in practice). Good luck.

akuabadoll you've explained or brilliantly, definitely makes sense. My DD was a fantastic sleeper from birth and was sleeping 8-8 by 9 weeks and so this is all a bit baffling to me! Feel like a first timer all over again

He slept through the night again last night, and then had 45 minutes in his crib this morning before waking again and rather than try and settle him and listen to him scream and me get stressed I just brought him downstairs and he's back asleep on me now. He sleeps fine when out and about (or on me) and any sort of movement will usually keep him asleep. I suppose a lot of it is to do with changing my expectations rather than him.

Thank you for the advice

Thanks for replying naice I rarely write because in the end everyone has to do it their way but I could relate to your post, even more so now I hear you had a great sleeper before. It took me too long to take a 'he is who he is' attitude, (even now). Sleep in the daytime, as much as possible and live a bit too, less eyes on the clock. ;)

I hear you...I was so frustrated when my DD was doing this in the day time...she only slept for 30 mins at a time, you could set your watch by it. And she couldn't get to the next sleep cycle like you said....she'd wake up chatting and happy then 30-40 mins later she'd be tired & really cranky again...I was putting her down for so many naps a day it was crazy...I couldn't 'sleep when the baby sleeps' cos every time I'd start to fall into a deep sleep, she'd wake up. And I was rushing to make lunch and eat it in 30mins, and then next nap rushing around the house trying to do some stuff in 30 mins. It actually drove me a little bonkers for a month or so but it did sort itself out. I think what it took was me making her room really dark with blackout blinds so there was nothing interesting to look at around the room...and then I started going in and without fail, if she woke up after 30 mins, I would do whatever it took (even if that was feeding) to get to go back to sleep. I would treat it like settling her in the night. After consistently doing this for a few days (it was exhausting and hard to stick to) she did start realising that she has to go back to sleep after she first wakes up. That definately helped. But what really made it stick and changed my life was when I just let her chat to herself for 15 mins..then she started crying (usually i would go in and get her cos I thought 'oh she's not going back to sleep) I just decided to leave her for 5 mins and see if she'd settle herself back to sleep with the crying...It was the first time I had ever left her to cry (4 months old) and it was agony for me...but the cries started to subside and after 6 minutes she then went quiet and then went back to sleep for AN HOUR !!! It was a real game changer. Apparently babies aren't capable of truly self settling until around 4 months though so I don't think this would have worked had I tried it earlier....I could tell the cries were dying down that's why I stuck at it for 6 mins...it wasn't constant screaming. I kept letting her do this every day and eventually she would do a little mini cry after half an hour, then back to sleep straight away. And now she doesn't made a noise and sleeps for 1 or 1.5 hours at a time for her daytime naps. White noise also does wonders to block out the sounds of the house/soothe them through to the next sleep cycle. Good luck !

Oh and my DD was also a really good night sleeper at this point so I just kept telling myself to be grateful for that and not expecting too much of her...it can't all be perfect and they are still working everything out and getting into a rhythm..you can coax them into good sleeping habits and a routine but in the end they won't do stuff until they are reading to do it. You could try doing exactly what someone else did and even if it worked for them it might not work for your baby as they are not ready...they need to be rocked to sleep longer still or whatever...just try again next week and see if they respond but try not to stress...easier said than done I know..I certainly had more then a few days of tearing my hair out with a cranky baby who obviously needed to sleep more but didn't know how... ARG! And don't feel you have to have every nap at home at this age...just one at least but get out of the house and let them nap on you in a sling or in the pram...it makes it a bit more bearable I found.