My 16 months of sleep deprivation, my son don't sleep in night pls help!

[sahar451]

Hi lovely mummies,
Out of total despair and as a last hope I'm writing this topic to see if someone can help me with some advices or whether they had a similar situation/experience to share:
My 16 months old son never ever been a good sleeper from day one, I never left him to cry and with the tiniest noise I was up and was feeding him back to sleep. he's still on breastfeeding and since he was born we tried at least 5 different formulas as an additional help maybe he'll be fuller when he goes to bed and sleep longer but he refused all. after one year old I tried cow's milk and seems he"s got allergy to it so I tried rice/soy milk with all those things that could possibly make it taste better and no success.he's a terrible fussy eater when it comes to solid as well!
well, now the problem is, I can't take it anymore, he wakes up each night between 5 to 12 times! Im breastfeeding all night like a cow and my breasts feels so tired and sore :( lets not mention that I haven't had a full night sleep for the last 16 months! no one can settle him down, Dad , auntie, grandmas every one tried! he just screaming for me & boobs!
we started the gradual retreat( disappearing chair sleep training) method but so far he managed only to fell asleep without feed for the first slot of his night sleep , the problem is he wakes up additional 6-8 times and he won't settle down!
So sorry for the long text , I appreciate if anyone can give me some useful piece of advice.
p.s: I read "no cry sleep solution and yes he's got a very organised every night routine!

Still waking this many times at 16months! Jesus you just be at your wits end. This is nothing to do with hunger or needing to fill him up, trust me. This is down to sleep associations. He needs to feed to get to sleep so each time he stirs/wakes he needs you to help him get back to sleep.
You mention a cows milk allergy. Have you seen the GP about this? I think you need to rule out any health issues causing the sleep problems and then you need to sleep train. You don't have to leave him to cry to sleep train but there will be crying involved.
Would you consider getting a sleep consultant? We got one when dd was 7 months old and was waking hourly. It has been literally life changing.

What we did was stop feeding to sleep and stop feeding at night. We went cold turkey and it was hard for a few days but it worked. Sleep training needs total total consistency. There are a few methods you can try but each time he wakes up you need to do the same thing. It is very hard at 3am when you just want to get back to bed as quickly as possible but the only way that it will work is with consistency.

As above, he has no need to bf at night at this age. He's waking for it as it's a bad habit.

Bedtime routine in this strict order to remove any feed to sleep associations....

Bath, if needed
Pjs
Milk in lounge
Teeth
Book, the same 1 or however many you do
Cuddle
Bed

We moved onto a duvet and pillow at this age.

The room is completely blacked out with a night light.

Night wakings... Always give 5 minutes before responding. If he's going nuts then go to him and settle in his cot. No getting out unless necessary. If he's just grizzly then see how it goes.

Don't spend more than a couple of minutes settling. Go in, let him know you're there and go again. Leave it for a set time before you reassess. Try not to go in if he's calming down. I personally like to say it's okay, it's nighttime, it's time to sleep now and then go.

If at all possible get anyone other than you to do this for 2 weeks. That should be more than enough to break the habit.

Thank you so much for all the messages. Yeah he's been in Gp for lactose intolerance and we've been referred to hospital, we are still waiting for our appointment. My husband strongly believe that we have to wean him off the boobs before sleep training cos we never saw a baby as attached as our son to breastfeeding. I definitely will follow all those constructive advices about sleep training that you all mentioned but do you think I have to wean him first?

I don't think you need to wean him off breast feeding first. I could also describe my dd as completely attached to breastfeeding! She was totally dependent on breast feeding to sleep and was waking every 20-60 minutes through out the night to only be resettled by a feed. By the time she was 7 months she was doing well with solids and also having 4-5 breast feeds a day. This is the point when I believed that she could go without feeding at night.( I know you say your ds isn't doing too well with solids but it does sound like he gets plenty of milk throughout the day.) My dd still has 4-5 breast feeds a day and she sleeps through most of the time. When she wakes she is resettled with patting and shushing, or water, or a cuddle or calpol if teething.

I don't think you need to wean totally. Ds still has milk to drink before bed at 2.9, it's just before his teeth are brushed to remove the association and save his teeth.

If you (not your husband) want to stop breastfeeding totally then I would do it all at the same time - night and day feeds.

But there is no need to do this unless you want to.

Fine to keep on breastfeeding through the day but stopping at night.

My DS was like this, he had hearing problems, glue ear and I think the feeding smoothed the pain. Get his hearing checked. Try a cranial osteopath as well, definately helped! Also a hypnosis sleep track like the nature sounds app.