stopping night feeds - am i doing it right?

[nello]

DS2 is nearly 9 months and night feeds (breast feeds) have varied a lot over the last few months - ranging from 1-4. Recently it has been 2 or 1 if I am lucky. I decided to work to stop night feeds as he is a healthy size for his age and eats well during the day (morning breastfeed, breakfast, midmorning feed, lunch, mid afternoon feed, dinner, bedtime feed).

I have slowly started introducing a bottle of formula in the daytime and whilst he prefers to breastfeed, he will take a bottle.

Because I didn't feel happy just stopping feeds in the night (in case he really is hungry) we decided that DH would go in with a bottle. Last night was a good night and DS slept 7-3 and then DH went in with bottle. I didn't expect DS to take much as he normally takes 50ml max but he drank 120ml. It then took an hour of crying/soothing for DH to get him back to sleep (eventually fell asleep in his arms).

So, I'm not sure where to go with this. DH will go in tonight with a bottle….but I wasn't expecting DS to take the bottle, and thought it would put him off feeding in the night, rather than him taking to it! What if he wakes twice tonight, or three times - should DH offer a bottle each time? Or should we decide that he can only have one bottle feed in the night, and if so, how do i decide what time - the first wake up? Wait until a certain hour?

Further down the line, how do I reduce the bottle in the night? I was thinking that I would make the milk:water ratio weaker gradually so that DS gets less used to the night time calories…? Say, every 3 days reduce the bottle by one scoop. Is this a good idea?

The whole point of introducing a night time bottle was to stop him wanting to feed, and stop him falling asleep on my boob when he feeds in the night…but I am all confused now that he was happy to drink from the bottle.

Sorry - feel like this post is going round in circles!!

Advise would be REALLY appreciated!! Thanks :)

Why not give him a 7oz bottle at 11pm and then only offer water if he wakes between 11pm and 7am?

Shenzi - if I would do this, would I wake him up to do the feed? What if he didn't take any/much? Would I still then only offer him water in the night? When would I then stop offering him the 7oz? Does this not set a bad habit of needing milk at this time - how would I break this habit in the future? I am so confused as have always just breast fed on demand.

We live abroad in a tropical climate where my day begins at 5am, so bedtime for me is more like 9am…if we started doing this dream feed, would 10pm be ok?

Thanks.

I used to dream feed at 10pm and Ds started waking for it. He stopped at around 11 months.

Still didn't sleep through till he was 1 though

So, is the idea of a dream feed that you are in control of the night feeds? They get the chance at this time for a last feed, but any other wakes before morning is water and soothing them back to sleep?

Would it be ok for me to do all of this (bottle feed/soothing with water in night)? I am not working, but DH is a teacher, so a hard job to do without much sleep…I was thinking that if DH does this weekend (to break the breastfeed in the night habit) then I continue with giving the bottle/soothing from Monday onwards?

I am worried that a dream feed could set a habit of feeding at this time, rather than encouraging him to drop the night feeds? How do you get around this? Would I start reducing the milk:water ratio/volume of milk given to gradually stop this, and when would I do this?

…and just reading up on dream feeds - it seems recommended that it is dropped by age 7/8months, so am I not daft to introduce it?

Sorry - so many questions! Thanks for any advice!

I'd rather a baby was in the habit of feeding at 10/11pm than some random time around 3am but it's up to you of course. I think you're overthinking this a bit though.

I think you can either stop feeding him at all in the night, or feed him when it suits you, or feed him when it suits him. I wouldn't worry too much what babies are ideally doing at x age, just do what works for you.

Thanks Shenzi , your last post makes things seem clearer. My choice, not a right/wrong choice.

It would suggest 120ml gave him indegestion it sounds like a lot of milk for tiny tummy but I really have no clue as did not do bottles too much like hard work. It seems your experiment with the bottle has backfired and he is now getting more rsther than less food at night, so I would drop it or I would give smaller feeds and reduce the amount each night if that is possible. My son first slept through the night on the day I introduced cheese to his diet and continued to sleep through so long as enough calories in the day, and cheese is excellent source of calories! So I think the answer is to feed more during the day to reduce night feeds. I was told to give water at night if necessary and be very very boring dont talk to them just put them back in the cot to go to sleep so they learn that there is nothing interesting going on so may as well stay asleep.
To stop him falling asleep on the boob take control and remove him before he is asleep or just keep him awake. Make sure you put him down drowsy but awake so he learns to go to sleep without boob! If he falls asleep wake him up again but only so he is concious not fully awake.
Although having said all this I think its all hit and miss and they do what they are going to do whatever you do, so good luck !

120ml is a fairly small amount of milk FastForward, many 9 month olds would drink 210-240ml.

My son is 9 months and we have just night weaned. His routine is exactly the same as yours; 3 meals plus 4 Bf. He's was waking in the night to be fed but then wasn't wanting milk when he woke in the morning. My husband offered him water when he woke the first 2 nights and then he slept through to morning. The first 2 nights were rough with a lot of crying, however my husband just cuddled him. It was really difficult but we knew he was just wanting to feed out of habit and he wasn't actually hungry.

I think go cold turkey and only offer water, the waking sounds like it is habitual rather than necessary. Give it a go, just be consistent. You can't revert back to feeding after 3 or 4 nights as he will get confused.just tell yourself you are committing and do it, bet it doesn't take long x

Thanks all. DH went in last night with bottle at 2am (when DS woke) and he took just 80ml and then straight off to sleep and slept until 6am, which is good for us.

Will keep going like this, but going to reduce the strength of the milk, so eventually it is just water. Too much of a wimp to go cold turkey on him, as this is a sweet sweet baby, who NEVER cries…so can't bear it when he does!!

If this doesn't work, will go cold turkey however. Thanks for your advice.