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Sleep

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Original poster

Baby will only sleep on mum and not in cot

21 replies

Auntie17 · 04/03/2015 20:27

I'm writing on behalf of my sister who has a 12 and a half week baby boy. He'll fall asleep on her but then as soon as she puts him down he is up and crying/screaming. This happens both during the day and at night and she's exhausted. She's tried many things to get him to sleep in the cot - warming the sheets, swaddling, putting him down when he is already asleep etc. - but he still always wakes up. Has anyone got any advice?? Thanks so much.

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dicko1 · 04/03/2015 20:35

I know it harsh and personally i luckily havnt needed to but has she tried leaving him to cry for a few mins going in in the dark not talking to him or comforting him but check hes okay and leave again! sleep training.

TicklishSpider · 04/03/2015 20:52

Yeah, leaving a 12-week-old to cry without comforting is 'harsh'

Mine was like that at that age. Sling for daytime naps, 3-sided bedside cot for nights, made my life and hers much easier.

christinarossetti · 04/03/2015 20:55

12 weeks is probably too young for sleep training, I'm afraid.

My dd was like this and the only way I got through it was to go with it. Used a sling in the day and co-slept. She was 8 months or so until she'd sleep in her cot during the day, so I used to put her on my back in a sling.

It does pass, although it's draining at the time. Just do what you have to do to make life easier.

BaronessBomburst · 04/03/2015 20:58

For goodness sake, don't try and 'sleep train' a twelve week old!
Agreed, she should try a sling.
And I used to put DS in his bed but hold his hands. I would just gently loosen his fingers and escape when he was asleep.

TarkaTheOtter · 04/03/2015 21:01

I wonder if maybe he doesn't like being flat? One thing she could try is tilting the cot slightly. My ds was like this and started to grow out of it at that age. He's actually the better sleeper of my two (not saying much though) it was just a discomfort thing when he was little.

DamnProt · 04/03/2015 21:01

Don't leave a baby to cry, he'll think he's been deserted. Google 'fourth trimester'. This is normal, baby isn't long out of the comfort of the womb. He just wants to be held, feel his mama's heartbeat like he used to.
This too will pass.

ag123 · 04/03/2015 21:03

Ds was like this. I eventually managed to get him snuggled up next to me in bed instead if actually on me and as others have said, just 'went with it' napping and sleeping when he did. In the end I managed to build up to waiting til he was asleep in my bed in the evenings then could sneak off. I know it's not the ideal but at the end of the day you just have to do what works to keep you sane!!
Co- slept until he was about 9 months btw then with just a bit of work he transitioned happily into his own cot.

Slacktacular · 04/03/2015 21:03

Could he be a bit refluxy? My DD had reflux and hated lying flat. Propping the mattress up so she was on a slant with her head raised really helped. We just rolled a couple of small towels to get the mattress at about a 30 degree angle. Maybe worth a go?

Elllimam · 04/03/2015 21:03

Co sleep? You can rent a bed nest which attaches to the bed. My wee guy usually just sleeps on my arm though.

juniorcakeoff · 04/03/2015 21:12

Yes to propping cot up. Also those sleepyhead things although pricey seem to really help at this stage. Sling in the day. Her worn t shirt as sheet for cot. Has she a partner to try rocking the baby to sleep? One of mine settled easier for Dad as he knew the milk source was already away, if going straight from boob to cot he got really angry . So sorry for her 12 weeks is a bit old to still be going through this.

Original poster

Auntie17 · 04/03/2015 21:15

Thanks all! I hear it is too early for sleep training but it is so great to hear all of your tips! At the moment they are co-sleeping but I will definitely suggest to my sister about tilting the cot. It's so nice to hear about other people going through the same and getting through the other side.

OP posts:

Andcake · 04/03/2015 21:22

Make sure she is up on safe cosleeping guidelines. But ds was the same - still has some moments of hating being alone at night at 2.5
Does she have a partner or you who can hold baby for a few hours whilst she gets some sleep in the afternoon.

We side barred our cot to give me an DP space.

Daytime sling, or just settle down with tv and music or a book.

dicko1 · 04/03/2015 21:28

Dont be so critical you hypocritical fools. Im not talking leave the poor little mite screaming in talking create the right sleeping environment nice warm dark comforting, help the baby learn what sleeptime is and help it relax!! And before you all start i have 6 month old triplets so am well aware of hoe hard it can be x

wigglylines · 04/03/2015 21:35

I agree she needs a sling. The baby can sleep in it and she can get on with stuff at the same time. It made a world of difference for us.

Babies are programmed to want to be close to their mums. Some seem to feel it more than others. It's totally natural and they grow out of it, some sooner, some later. Instead of battling with the baby, how about trying to find ways of making it bearable for your sister?

e.g. getting a sling. Or even sometimes just accepting the baby wants to sleep on her for now, but it won't be like this forever, and other people (you? Your sister's DP?) picking up the slack, cooking dinner etc while the baby sleeps, in the meantime?

TarkaTheOtter · 04/03/2015 21:40

dicko1 you did suggest leaving the baby to scream.

And your posting history suggests that your triplets are a figment of your imagination.

BaronessBomburst · 04/03/2015 22:07

I'm impressed that anyone with triplets has time to MN.

FATEdestiny · 04/03/2015 22:08

Much talking about sleep here (obviously) but remember that for a very small baby at 12 weeks, sleep and nutrition are intrinsically linked.

Check that the baby is feeding enough, since this can affect how easy a baby is to settle to sleep.

Roobo · 04/03/2015 22:21

dicko1 according to your posting history you 'are a first time Mum to a 6mo girl' so when we're the triplets born

OP it will get better for your sister. My DS is coming up to 4 months and hardly sleeps (I also have a 2yo) and it is exhausting, but does get better.

itsonlysubterfuge · 04/03/2015 22:21

I had this problem with my DD and all I can say is the Cocoonababy saved our sanity. Our baby was happy to sleep in it or in our arms. It had nothing to do with being flat and everything to do with wanting to be warm and snuggly with Mommy or Daddy. The Cocoonababy made her feel like she was being cuddled, I guess? It didn't last very long and it was expensive, but my only regret is not finding it and buying it sooner. The child can only use it until they start rolling over, then you have to take them out of it.

YogaCake · 04/03/2015 22:31

Co-sleep for night, sling for day. Nuff said. It'll get better

Sorehead · 04/03/2015 22:35

No advice that hasn't already been tried/ suggested but I had similar issues with DS. Now at nearly 20 weeks he sleeps better in his crib than he does on me and whilst I like being able to eat lunch in peace etc, I kind of miss him sleeping on me so there's light at the end of the tunnel!

I've probably just jinxed myself and messed up his sleep now though

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