Controlled crying for a very loud 8 month old

[Stickstick]

My almost 8 month old is still in our bed. I like it, my partner tolerates it but none of us are getting much sleep. My DS can't settle to sleep anywhere except the sling and wakes as soon as I attempt to transfer him to the cot. Shall I use controlled crying? He screams unbelievably loudly if I put him down even for seconds sometimes. Like everyone I'm dreading it and terrified of upsetting him or doing him harm. I'm desperate for advice. Thanks.

I wouldn't. I would do it more gradually myself in that scenario

Up to you. We had one half hearted attempt to do it and it convinced us that co-sleeping was the way to go for us. Others find that it, or pick up put down (or something like that) works for them.

I co-slept with mine and then put them into a single bed (with bed guard) at 12 months. It meant that they could go to sleep in their own bed, and then if they wanted/needed to come into us in the night, one of us could go into their bed and get a really good night's sleep!

I wouldn't either. When a baby is left to cry in distress for several minutes it floods the brain with stress hormones. These can change the structure of the brain and potentially create problems in later life.
Babies only 'sleep' through with cc as they know nobody is going to come to them, therefore no point in crying.
Read the science of parenting

That's such a huge change from co sleeping to controlled crying, there are much gentler techniques to use if you want to change things. I like shush pat, worked for both mine. When my 10 month old wakes I just pat him a few times and he settles back down unless something bothering him. I don't tend to shush unless he gets really upset.

Look at Sarah Ockwell Smith's website, she has some good articles.

Yes it seems very harsh to me too I've read some ockwell-smith articles, I've also read that cortisol isn't released unless the child is under serious stress like in cases of long term neglect. Shush pat sounds good but apparently not useful when the baby is over 6 months? Any other gentler techniques recommended?

I also should have mentioned: I'm not bothered about sleeping through. I just want him not to wake every hour (or less) it can't be good for him!

How does he resettle at night when he's co-sleeping?

I don't think cc is as 'damaging' as sometimes claimed. But nor do I think it's likely to be massively helpful in the scenario you describe - it's too far from what he's used to.

Are folks still doing this shit....unbelievable.

Yep, you're right, I'm looking into something gentler, like camping out. He resettles with breastfeeding. Sometimes a back rub works or just a cuddle.

Gradual retreat? You start by cuddling in the cot for a few days, then stroking, then hand holding etc until you are out the room

I'm not worried about cortisol release with CC, more that my baby will lose trust that I will go to him when he needs me. I've read that the babies still wake but have learnt not to call out as they know it won't be answered. I don't consider this a good thing, but some might! I had a friend who 'trained' her baby, one night he was sick on himself and his cot but she only realised when she went to get him in the morning and found him covered in dried vomit, all because he had learnt not to cry out.

I know some who regret CC, but none who regret responsive parenting. This comes from a Mum of a 6 year old who only started sleeping through regularly from 4yrs and who currently has a 10 month old who wakes up anywhere from 3 to 8 times a night! Had my share of him waking hourly, especially when teething or going through a development stage but getting less often now. I go to him every time he cries and stay until he is happy for me to leave (he is in a cot in his own room). Believe me, on the bad nights I've seriously considered CC but know I could never go through with it and also know it won't be like this forever!