Early waking and distress at bedtime

[MonstersIncq]

I've got two issues with my 6mo (apart from not sleeping well ever but trying to tackle that slowly!)

At bedtime she gets absolutely hysterical when getting pyjamas etc on. My DH thinks she knows it's bedtime and this upsets her. I really don't understand this because I BF her to sleep at night so v cosy for her.

I've tried starting bedtime early, later, making sure she isn't hungry, overtired etc.

Any suggestions about this? Bedtime so unpleasant at the moment (also not only child so tricky to juggle).

She is also waking at 5am. Have tried feeding her back to sleep but doesn't work. If I were to get up with her she wouldn't eat until 6 or 7 so she's definitely not hungry.

Have tried leaving her for a bit or going in and rubbing her back but this quickly makes her really upset. I feed her generally once in the night at between 11 and 1 (basically when she wakes up). She's not overtired and she's definitely tired enough and needs the sleep.

I don't think wake to sleep would work as she has woken at four before and been the same.

Sorry thanks so much in advance!

Following. I have a similar problem with my 6 month old - starts crying when put in the grobag. Sometimes he will fall asleep during his bottle, but if not he cries even if we are trying to soothe him (rocking, walking around etc). It is worse if we put him down. Eventually he will calm down and fall asleep on my shoulder, and then I transfer him to the cot. He always wakes 45 min later, and usually another 1-2 times during the evening and we go through the rigmarole again. However, he will then sleep until 7am with just one wake up for a bottle at 4am.

I find it really bizzare - we have a good bedtime routine (bath, pjs while singing some nursery rhymes, then bottle and bed). We have never left him to cry and always try to soothe him, but nothing seems to work anymore :-(

can you post her daytime nap routine? It might help to see the full picture. In particular am wondering if she still has a late afternoon catnap as if she does it could be that she isn't quite tired enough to go to bed (a sign she is getting ready to drop it). On the flip side if she's already dropped it, maybe she needs an earlier bedtime - overtiredness can also cause bedtime struggles as well as early waking.

Also - have you started weaning yet? If so how much solids is she having & has she cut back on her milk intake at all? Just to rule out hunger/food issues as cause for the early wake.

Having solids and I think getting enough milk but BF on demand so impossible to tell.

As above 100% not overtired at bedtime or not tired enough. Have tried without last nap before bedtime to great disaster. Also can't think she'd be screaming the place down getting pyjamas on due to not being tired? Or did you mean re the early waking.

nsps are roughly a morning one that is anywhere between 40 mins and 1.5 hours, lunchtime one of the same, last one of 30-40 mins.

Re weaning am also BLW so again hard to know exactly how much she's having but she's doing pretty well with it.

Yep in our house screaming the place down can definitely be a sign of not being tired enough. In fact ds (4) would protest far more if not tired than when overtired. DD (13 wks) appears to be doing the same. Funny creatures these kids .

How long is she awake between last nap & bedtime? Maybe try bedtime just 10-15mins later/earlier see if it helps? Process of elimination? You may need to try for a good few days to allow her to adjust.

Babies do usually drop that last nap around 6ish months (some earlier some later) & yes they do get very tired - best bet is to do a super early bedtime if they refuse it in order to prevent overtitedness.

Sounds like she is doing well on the feeding/weaning side of things so unlikely to be that.

Sorry to be no more help!

*overtiredness

Thanks for advice but did say in my OP have ruled out over tiredness and not being tired enough. Any other suggestions?.

I do not believe that a 6 month old has the emotional intelligence to know it is bedtime and get upset in anticipation of this. I would discount this on that basis, which leaves the fact that it is something physical causing the screaming.

My suggestions would be one, many or all of the following:

• Frustrated because she wants to be asleep but cannot get to sleep herself
• Hungry
• In pain
• Uncomfortable
• Very tired
• Not tired at all and wants to play

I can't think of anything else physical that it could be. OP, why do you think she is like this at bedtime?

With your early mornings - I wonder how much of all of this could be solved by the baby learning a way to settle independently of you (ie not being breastfed). For example when my DD (5 months) wakes early morning I give her a dummy. If she doesn't settle straight back to sleep (like within 5 minutes) with a dummy then I swaddle her (because she flays her arms around a lot) and alongside the dummy, this gets her back to sleep.

I've tried feeding at this early morning feed and like you, she just isn't hungry and takes very little. Plus is signals morning to her so exasperates the problem of her wanting to get up for the day. So settling methods are more effective than feeding. Which leads to a problem if your only means to settle to sleep is feeding.

Thanks for your suggestions FATE. I agree with you that the feeding probably exacerbates the problem. The thing is she gets absolutely hysterical when I try to settle her any other way. Im really at a loss as to what to do apart from let her cry which I'm not keen to do. I have previously tried putting her in a sling at this time and sort of forcing her back to sleep but it only works to extend by about half an hour and is definitely nt a habit I want to get into.

Re the bedtime I have absolutely no clue whatsoever. I know she's not overtired and I'm just talking about getting pyjamas on not setting her down or anything. It's literally just the changing nappy getting pyjamas on that seems to distress her so much. But it is rally extreme she goes absolutely ballistic with proper tears so it must be something.

Do you change and do her nappy somewhere different to where you do her nappy changes during the daytime?

No. Do her nappy all over the shop InThe day, sometimes in our bedroom. At nighttime I get her ready for bed in our bedroom.

Do I take it from your opening post that once you start breastfeeding her at bedtime, then she is fine?

As a tester, I would completely change her bedtime routine. Don't go upstairs 'to bed' until she is ready to be breastfed to sleep (I am assuming you are happy to continue to breastfeed to sleep for the foreseeable future?)

If you normally have a bath, miss the bath for a day. Or have a bath in the middle of the afternoon.

Separate undressing and dressing in PJs. Maybe have an hours naked kick around downstairs before bedtime.

Get nappy on and PJs downstairs as part of the end of this naked playtime. Or if baby isn't a fan of naked kicks (some babies aren't) then change into night clothes loads before bedtime - like an hour or so before and then carry on playing downstairs.

Maybe completely change the type of clothes she sleeps in. Sleepsuit? Separates? Nightdress? Just a vest?

Then with everything ready for bed done, but in a different order and at a different time and all separated, you can see exactly what the problem is and which bit causes distress.

This is a good idea. I have tried it before and she's been fine but couldn't narrow down a cause. I'll try that again.