10 month old lost the ability to self settle following illness... advice wanted

[Torfhinn]

My almost 10 month old has had an ear infection last week. He seems well now although is still on antibiotics. During the illness he sleep very poorly and and mainly whilst being held.

He used to self settle most evenings, sometimes just having a small grizzle for a few minutes. He would wake at night, but replacing his dummy would get him back to sleep straight away.

Now he will only fall asleep whilst being held and can only be put in his cot once in a deep sleep. He wakes usually twice a night and needs to be picked up and held back to sleep each time.

His bedtime routine has not changed at all (Bath bottle/book bed).

We have tried pu/pd but this just seems to make him hysterical. I'm worried I am getting into such bad habits holding him to sleep and, although I don't mind it at bedtime, it's getting hard during the night.

Has anyone been through similar? Is it a phase, seperation anxiety or something I haven't even thought about? Any [constructive] advice welcome.

Thanks in advance, Torf

What about trying to settle him whilst he is lying in his cot - a reassuring pat on the shoulder and a gentle shushing sound. He will cry because he wants to be picked up, but you will be there for him throughout. You have to teach him to go to sleep in his cot and not being held.

Bleugh I'm in the same situation with my dd (8mo). Ill last week, got lots of cuddles and put to bed fast asleep and now really, really doesn't want to be put in her cot at bedtime. Have restarted controlled crying but it was bloody awful tonight. Am trying to psych myself up for a few nights misery while she re-learns self settling. It sucks. Wishing you luck OP and sending

We've just been through this with our 7mo. She was self settling and sleeping through the night until she was hit by a hideous virus which lasted three weeks. She was off her food but would take milk at night so we got in the habit of feeding her at 3am and then cosleeping. It's taken us nearly a month to get her back in her own bed and sleeping through and it's been really hard.

First we cut out the 3am feed and just rocked her back to sleep. Then we stopped picking her up and rubbed her back to sleep. Then we started increasing the time before we went in to her until she started to self settle again.

She shares a room with our 3yo so we had to move the 3yo into our room whilst we undertook all this and then we had to deal with trying to get the 3yo back into her room as well.

You have my sympathy!!

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions. Funnily enough, he was actually better during the night last night so I am hoping he hasn't forgotten it all! All the best x