I've a 12 week old & a 4.5 year old, and the problem is the 4.5 year old! She's been a bad sleeper since she was a baby, but I can't take much more now I've a baby to deal with too. The baby sleeps sometimes for 6 hour stretches- she never does!! I hear the pitter patter during the night & she arrives into our bed. (Pre-baby this had stretched to around 5-6am so we could live with it) Depending on tiredness I bring her back, but she arrives back later anyway. She's a good, tall healthy child so she's big & tends to flail around bed, kicking & arms whacking.
All this means next to no sleep for me because DH would sleep through anything us. It also means I can't feed baby in bed in case she accidentally hurts him so I end up going to her room to feed baby & staying there. She then follows me back into her room an hour before waking up for morning. I'm going crazy but don't know how to fix it without shattering her world that's already a bit topsy turvy with the new arrival.
We tried a hot water bottle in case she's getting cold (I'm in her room now & it's still warm so that's not it). I tried chats about her sleeping in her bed all night that turned to tears very quickly ('I'll be scared without you & daddy'). I know tough love is possibly the only way, but I've a memory of being very small & my own father telling me crossly I couldn't come to their bed any more & being scared. Has anyone any suggestions?
PS please remember this is from 4.5 years of borderline sleep deprivation broken sleep on our parts - when she was a newborn until about 9 mths I read every sleep book going, was on forums, tried everything bar CC as she would vomit with crying even with shush pat or pick up put down. We ended up going with the flow to get maximum sleep.