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12 week old waking more often

13 replies

Hayls · 23/04/2004 10:03

I really hope someone can offer some advice but it seems like a long shot. My dd is 12 weeks and for the past couple of weeks she's been sleeping from 8 till 8 with 2 then down to 1 feeds during the night. However, for most of this week she's gone back to waking more often- twice for a couple of nights then 4 or 5 last night. She doesn't wake up screaming but she is definitely hungry and after a feed goes straight back to sleep. She's breast fed and won't take a bottle so dh can't do any of the feeds- he tries to soothe her but she won't settle without a feed. The response I usually get from various sources is 'give her a bottle of formula, it'll fill her up and she'll sleep for longer' but I REALLY don't want to do this. DH is also against the idea but is worried about my lack of sleep and I think he might start agreeing soon. I also feel like I can't talk about it to my normal sources of advice (mum and mil) because that's what they'll say- no harm to them but they didn't breast feed so don't understand how I feel. He'd be happy to give her a bottle of ebm during the night but she just won't take it- I bought an Avent cup, will that be any different?

We're going to buy a blackout blind tomorrow in case this is causing the early morning wake ups but this wouldn't explain the others.

Could it be a growth spurt or is she just getting ready for weaning? I wanted to wait till 6 months if poss but if that's the case I've got at least another 4 weeks to wait and really don't feel up to it.

It feels like my fault and that I'm doing something wrong. I feel like such a failure that I can't keep up with her appetite and cope with the lack of sleep- I managed it fine for her first few weeks. I'm sooo worried that I'll 'give in' and give her formula and will feel like even more of a failure.

She's had growth spurts before but never this long or as 'bad' as this.

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Would formula really fill her up?

She's just fallen asleep so think I'll go back to bed

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kiwisbird · 23/04/2004 10:09

Hi there
WEnt through a similar thing with my first, he was a hungry baby
Have you tried cluster feeding in the evening? Someone else will know more about it than me, it was a decade ago with my ds! But it really helped, I had to (from memory) put him back to the same breast for ages to increase the hind milk intake and then top up with other breast thereafter..
It does sound like a prolonged growth spurt, and avoid the formula if you really don't want to do it...
Or she might be teething, early but the sensation can make babies harder to settle themselves... plus birds blooming tweeting, etc....
At this age it is still so easy to pop a boob in and let them drift off again, it won;t last forever and perhaps dh cn help by letting you have a lie in while he does morning stuff after her wake up feed?
Good luck

Hayls · 23/04/2004 10:13

I had thought she was teething but then thought she was too young. She is constantly dribbling, often has red flushes on her cheeks and chomps on her hands and anything else nearby. Could she be?

She's woken up again for another feed so I'm still here!

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Hayls · 23/04/2004 10:15

Oh and dh has already said he'll do everything except feed her over thee weekend so I can catch up

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twiglett · 23/04/2004 10:16

message withdrawn

mears · 23/04/2004 10:24

Hayls - you are doing really well and since you have breastfed for this long you aredefinately doing a good job.

Something you said though struck a cord - you said she doesn't cry but she feeds and goes back to sleep. Babies love the breast and will suck at times whether they are hungry or not if it is offerred. Try not to lift her when she wakens, she may well just go back to sleep without a feed.

Have you tries wakening her for a feed at about 10.30pm-11pm before you go to bed? Many mums find that helpful.

She will settle back down again - avoid the formula if you can. It is something your baby does not need, honestly.

Hayls · 23/04/2004 10:31

Mears, I have tried leaving her when she wakes but she gradually gets louder and will eventually start to cry. The past couple of nights she's been waking herself at around 11pm and I've fed her then but it hasn't made much difference.

dh has tried feeding her ebm when I'm not around and has tried when she's hungry, when she's not very hungry and at various times but she just screams. She won't take one from me either- any advice?

Am NOT going to give formula

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Ghosty · 23/04/2004 10:32

Hayls ... no advice, just wanted to send positive vibes to you. {{{{{}}}}}
My DD is 11 weeks and I am waiting in anticipation for the growth spurt ...
If you really don't want to give a bottle then don't ... I have at times been tempted but I know that I will regret it forever if it interfered with my milk supply ...
How much does your dd sleep and eat during the day? My dd feeds quite regularly but on hungry days I feed her more in the day time as much as she wants it ... Basically I fill her up as much as I can during the daytime.
I also wake my dd up for a feed at 10.30 pm ... have you tried doing that?

PS ... clusterfeeding ... like kiwisbird suggested ... I do that too ...

kiwisbird · 23/04/2004 10:34

It does sounds as if her teeth are moving through the gums, my first was a very early teether...
I find with dd now she wakes easily when teething even if not in pain...
The wonderful thing about breastfeeding is that it is chemical free instant comfort, I much preferred it to calpol even though it meant getting up more.I hope she settles soon for you...

Hayls · 23/04/2004 10:35

Hi Ghosty, dd doesn't sleep much during the day, maybe 1 1/2 hours in the morning and sometimes an hour in the afternoon. She falls asleep but wakes very quickly. She's feeding every 2-3 hours

Tell me more about cluster feeding!

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Clayhead · 23/04/2004 10:46

Hayls, huge sympathy, I've been there. I very stupidly bowed to pressure with dd and tried the bottle of formula to get her to sleep more and it made NOT ONE BIT of difference, she woke just the same.

Both of mine got their first teeth through at around 16 weeks and were unsettled for several weeks before hand whilst the tooth was coming in.

With ds I fed him as often as possible all evening (think this is cluster feeding) and it helped a bit but he wakes every 1 1/2 hours anyway so I'm not much help there!

Ghosty · 23/04/2004 10:51

Well, basically this is what we do ...
DD has her first feed around 7/8am ... and she feeds fairly well. She can then go until around 10/11am before she needs another feed and then she can go till about 1/2pm. After that she seems to feed from 4pm onwards until 7pm when she goes to bed. Not permanently attached but at 4 she will feed for say, 10 minutes, and then sit and 'play' for a bit ... then she will doze off a bit ... then at 5 she will feed again ... hungrily but not for long 5 minutes, maybe 10 (I keep her on the same breast for this ... ). She will doze off a bit again and then at 6 pm she goes back on the same boob for a few minutes until we bath her. After bath she goes back on that boob and she will feed for a couple of minutes and then look around ... do another couple of minutes and so on until she refuses it altogether. So then we swap sides and she will usually feed really well on that side until she basically looks drunk ... and that is when I put her to bed
When I wake her for the 10.30 feed I start on the boob I last fed her on and when she has had enough of that I change her, play for a bit, then do as above and then swap sides ... (this takes about an hour in total) ...

Just a point to remember ... thanks to mumsnet and learning about fore and hind milk, I only offer her the other side when dd is totally refusing the side she is on ... this happens in the afternoon and evening ... but in the morning she will be content with just one boob ...

elliott · 23/04/2004 10:57

The only thing I can think of that hasn't already been mentioned is to try and feed a lot during the day for a few days - at least 2 hourly - this might help get your supply up more quickly and hopefully the night waking will settle down. Or you could try a dummy at night....
You are doing really well and like the others I don't think formula will solve the problem, and especially you shouldn't do it if you don't want to.

Hayls · 23/04/2004 14:01

Thanks. Will see how she is tonight...

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