Sleep training, do I need it?

[Heatherbell1978]

DS1 is 6 mths next week. Until 16 wks he was an ok sleeper. Never slept through but would wake twice in the night for food, so normally would do 7 to 11/12 then to 4/5. At 16 wks everything went tits up, feeding and sleeping. He's now ff which I've come to terms with and is going well but sleep has never got back to 'normal'. Well, he will do the occasional good night which would follow the pattern above but more often than not, he wakes at 10.30/11, has a feed, then wakes pretty much every hour until 4am, takes a feed, then sleeps to around 6am. I am so tired......
The last 2 nights though he's not been interested in food when he wakes so he doesn't need it. He has a dummy which settles him and I try and remove it once he's asleep so it doesn't wake him.

During the day he feeds reasonably well, we've just started weaning and he naps for 30 mins every 2 hours. Never managed to break that 30 min nap cycle.

He settles easily though so I'm not rocking or shushing for hours, I'm just walking back and forth to his room putting the dummy in, Ewan on and then back to bed. Repeat every hour.

I've tried reducing his milk so I'll onky give him about 3oz when he wakes at 4qm but it makes no difference. Last night he only took about an oz.

I don't like the thought of controlled crying but just don't know what other methods would work?!?

Hi Heather

I'm not sure why you are taking his dummy out? It will fall out of his mouth naturally when her gets into a deep sleep, at which point it shouldn't wake him.

Constant waking like you describe would say one of two things to me: hunger or an inability to self settle between sleep cycles.

How many feeds does your DS have through the daytime and are they full feeds? If not getting enough through the daytime it makes for an unsettled nighttime. Likewise not feeding quick enough in the night.

If it was me I would keep the cot back into my bedroom until baby is sleeping through. It is much, much easier to settle a baby back to sleep when he is next to you. The getting up and going into another room must be exhausting! Is there a specific reason why you have moved the cot out of your room?

Thanks for your reply. The dummy thing is suggested in the Baby Whisperer, to help baby just use the dummy to drift off and no more. Apparently it makes it easier to take the dummy away eventually.

He feeds every 3 hours during the day so usually 6.30/9.30/12.30/3.30 and bedtime feed at 6.30pm. He has a wee bit of brekkie at around 8.30 and a bit of dinner at 5 but I'm talking a couple of spoonfuls at this stage. His first 2 feeds are normally only 4oz or so and then he takes bigger feeds as the day goes on so around 3 feeds of 6/7 Oz.

If I give him a full feed at 4am then he won't feed in the morning so I try to limit that one to about 3/4oz.

Just keen to get him in his own room to be honest. Never had any plans yo have him with us beyond 6 months as we want our room back! Yes it's not ideal but DH can at least get a bit of sleep which was hard when he was in our room.

With my first I thought too much about the longer term (don't want this or that habit to form...) that I forgot about the here and now. I realised subsequently that if you solve the problems in the here and now, then it often stops subsequent problems developing, so nothing needs solving.

Do you have any experience of taking away a dummy away from a child, for example? It has not been difficult for any of my three. They just needed bribing into it with some £20 super special toy and a sticker chart to earn it. Tears? None, because the child chose to give up the dummy for the gift.

So, is that worse than having a baby who won't settle into a deep sustained sleep?

Limiting night feeds is another example. What does it matter if baby isn't so hungry in the morning for a while? If it means sleep and settled, content baby? Feeds will soon settle once your DS is not being limited on how much and when to feed.

Weaning is often a difficult time for babies to manage their hunger - milk has far more calories than pureed veg. So if milk feeds are replaced with solids, it is reasonable that a baby will seek the extra calories at some point in the day (or night) and be unsettled if not getting these.

You want your room back, fair enough. If I had to move the cot out of my room I would find myself on a put-up bed in the nursery with baby, to make life easier on myself dealing with the get-ups. I guess this is a pay-off between what is the most important benefit - your sleep or your room. It seems you won't get both just yet.

Hi, I would say he does need sleep training. I did it with my first- I used a sleep consultant. My DS was same as yours and only napped very briefly- this was his problem. They need to nap well in the day to sleep at night. We did sleep training, after 4 days he has slept through. He is now 3years old and sleeps 13 hours at night and 2 in the day. From being old enough to crawl, as soon as in the night garden had finished he would crawl to the bottom stair and wait to be put in his cot!! The training wasn't even particularly bad- some crying yes, but it was just his way of protesting to the change and he wasn't suffering as such! I know people have their opinions about long term damage etc but I think that is only a likely scenario if his needs aren't being met during the day etc! He is very well adjusted and very happy!!!!