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The baby whisperer???

22 replies

lookingforwardtopropersleep · 10/02/2015 21:12

I'm contemplating starting the baby whisperer and shhh pat for some sleep training for my 3 month old DS. I'm just wondering- she keeps talking about all these props that you must avoid, including pacing and rocking. Does shhhing and patting not end up being a prop? Has anyone done it and found it works?

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nottheOP · 10/02/2015 21:21

It worked for me. It's very gradual and eventually you can put them down awake.

lookingforwardtopropersleep · 11/02/2015 13:27

What age did you start it? And how long did it take before you could put them down awake? We're stuggling to get past 15 minutes asleep before waking after 3 days....

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AKP79 · 11/02/2015 16:10

Worked for me too and was the best thing I ever did. I started it with DS from around 5 weeks old.

Sprinkfest · 11/02/2015 16:14

The idea behind ssh/pat is it can be done anywhere and is very little effort, unlike pacing and rocking which sometimes require more energy than a new parent can muster.

It worked a treat for us, as did the dream feed.

AKP79 · 11/02/2015 16:16

Oh and every baby is different. Don't compare yours to others because you'll just end up feeling disheartened. Consistency is the key and it WILL work if you stick with it.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 11/02/2015 16:23

Didn't work for us. DD1 got more and more upset to the point we might as well have been doing CIO.

Suits some and not others.

nottheOP · 11/02/2015 18:07

It took about 2 weeks to be able to put down wide awake.

Tummy sleeping was the biggest thing really. It helped his gas and startle reflex

PterodactylTeaParty · 11/02/2015 21:12

As with many Baby Whisperer ideas, shh/pat was a miserable failure for us. It does work for some babies, so it's definitely worth a shot, but don't buy into the 'accidental parenting' guilt trips she bludgeons you with if your baby isn't one of them.

lookingforwardtopropersleep · 11/02/2015 21:54

So day 3 finished today- we've spent hours shhh patting and not gotten very far. He's good at going down initially but wakes after 15 minutes from a nap. I then go in to try and get him to nap longer (because he's really grizzly otherwise) and it takes up to an hour before he'll fall asleep again. He's 14 weeks; is he too old for this? Should I be thinking about PUPD? He also seems to be tired very quickly after waking up- sometimes only lasting 30 minutes before he starts rubbing his eyes and eating his hands.

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nottheOP · 11/02/2015 22:02

If he's waking after 15 minutes, after 10 minutes go and start again to get him over the barrier into a deep sleep.

nottheOP · 11/02/2015 22:03

Pupd might work. I think he sounds overtired

lookingforwardtopropersleep · 11/02/2015 22:20

I agree he's over tired but he fights it so strongly! I'll give it another couple of days...

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lookingforwardtopropersleep · 11/02/2015 22:46

Do you mean wake to sleep, NottheOP?

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nottheOP · 12/02/2015 17:34

Kind of. Ds was a chronic 35 min napper so I did this for a week to break the habit

Jemimapuddleduk · 12/02/2015 19:27

Shh pat and pupd didn't work for us. Things kind of got better naturally over time and ds has learnt to self settle (well most of the time).

BMO · 12/02/2015 19:57

Ssh pat and PUPD worked with DS1 but I also go for as many props as possible - just make sure they aren't ones that are difficult for you to keep up. So, baby swing, dummy, special blankets, white noise etc.

lookingforwardtopropersleep · 12/02/2015 19:58

I'm really struggling now- 4 days in and despite several hours of shh pat, and moving onto PUPD he screams for an hour, and then sleeps for 10 minutes. Think i may give up.

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BMO · 12/02/2015 20:00

Maybe he's just too little. The most important thing is that he gets enough sleep - if he's tired after 30 minutes get him to sleep. I cannot recommend a swing highly enough, the big benefit is that you can wean them off it later by turning down the motion gradually. Are you using a dummy? The suck-to-sleep reflex is really strong.

rockinrobintweet · 12/02/2015 20:07

consistency is certaintly the key. make sure you're relaxed as Ds will feel your anxiety.

i found that sshh and pat did work but I had to have music on which even now (Dd is 8 months) is the golden nugget!!!!

lookingforwardtopropersleep · 12/02/2015 20:36

Today he was tired after about 40 minutes (very obvious cues) and I tried to put him down. I did 15 minutes of shhh pat, held him for another few minutes and then put him down, wide awake within minutes and screaming. Repeated, same outcome. After the third time he started screaming and I couldn't calm him down at all- I had to hand him over to my cousin to calm down as I couldn't cope. We ended up in a worse situation then we started! I use a dummy, and it does help, but I just can't keep him asleep for more then ten minutes. Then he cries or grizzles for the rest of the day because he's tired. I'm exhausted as he's still up 4-6 times between 11 and 7, and then can't put him down during the day as he's tired.
Give up and accept it or persist? I will try adding in some swaying and singing...

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PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 12/02/2015 20:44

Honestly, I don't think combining shhh pat and PUPD in the same period is likely to work. One or the other.

PUPD only works if your baby stops crying if you pick them up too (otherwise it's just CC).

As I mentioned, neither worked for us.

Are you really keen on doing one of these ?Are there other ways that will get him to sleep reliably? You might want to focus on ways of getting him to sleep longer for the time being - even if that means you're off for a 45 minute walk (I'm guessing he's your first given all the daytime hours you've been able to put in?).

lookingforwardtopropersleep · 12/02/2015 20:56

I don't think I'll do any more PUPD- too difficult! Yes, my first, but not found any other ways to reliably make him sleep. I will try a long walk tomorrow, but when I've tried that before he still wakes up. Up until now I've been just putting up with him being tired during the day and grumpy, but I can't spend all day holding him and comforting him with no break, having had no sleep as he's still up every hour from 2 am onwards.

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