Co-sleeping but comfort nursing through the night - what to do?

[maymow]

DD aged 4 months has become a serial comfort nurser. I am EBF and she is feeding once every two hours at night. I could handle this (just about) but whilst she falls back to sleep quickly after feeding, she then reawakens after 10-15 mins wanting to comfort nurse. If I don't give her the boob, she thrashes and cries herself into a total frenzy. She would happily suck all night if I let her. Sometimes I can sleep through it, sometimes not. She point blank refuses the dummy, bottle and her cot (we are co-sleeping), isn't yet able to self soothe by sucking on her fingers nor has she taken to a comforter.

I've been told she's too young for sleep training. So what to do? Stick it out and hope she grows out of it? Or am I enforcing this habit with every night that goes by?? Any tips/advice gratefully received..

Hi, I was about to post almost exactly the same thing. So I'll watch with interest.
I'm considering some sleep training but DS is only 4 months.

Could she be teething? Maybe try a teething gel right before nursing and see how that works.
Mine is much bigger but I can see a big difference when I use a gel

Try the no cry sleep solution which you can use from 4 months. It has realistic strategies for breastfed and Co sleeping babies but no quick fixes...

Thanks ninetynine and greenstone. Teething hadn't occurred to me, I don't think she has other symptoms, but as a FTM I am not clued up.. I will look again at No Cry, I read it when she was tiny but not since.

Rainbow interested to hear more about your situation. The one 'trick' I've read about which works maybe 30% of the time is putting gentle pressure under the chin when removing the boob; but only works if in deep sleep and even then she invariably wakes up and starts rootling around again..

Come on people these babies are still so young. I know it seems never ending but of course they want to comfort suck. BF is about so much more than food....they love mums 24 he diner and rightly so.
My DD is now 9'months and in last month has gone from co-sleeping/napping on me, to napping in her cot and now sleeping in there at night too. Sometimes she will go through the night and sometimes she'll be in with us from around 4am, feeding and comfort suckling until 8 when we get up.
I do remember feeling like she would be in our bed forever but time flies. If I were you I'd let your babies dictate when they're ready. So much easier than trying to force them into a pattern they're not ready for, especially during teething and growth spurts.
Have a look at 'the milk Meg' on fb. Some good stuff on there.
You are no reinforcing a habit OP, you are providing your child with exactly what she needs x

Thank you Tomkat that's really encouraging. If you don't mind me asking, how did you know your DD was ready? Sounds like it happened quite quickly. And you didn't need to sleep train?

She started napping in the morning ( about 60-90 mins after waking) at about 6 months in her crib initially and I would put her in her cot to chill out sometimes when I was sorting clothes etc just to get her used to the space.
Then I moved the naps from her crib to the cot when she was too big and she got used to that for about 2 weeks and then tried again at bedtime and she just got it.
I moved the chair and the 'wave' music box that we used to settle for naps into her room so that was the same.
I always offer her a BF before a nap and at night. Sometimes she dozes off on the boob and when she delatches I put her up on my shoulder for about another 5-10 mins before laying her in her cot. This last week though she has been staying awake after a feed and I've been putting her down awake but calm and relaxed. I must admit I put her on her front to sleep, as she settles much better. I know she can roll though and we have a motion sensor monitor for peace of mind.
Sometimes she whinges a bit when we put her down...you soon learn to know the difference between the cry that is an 'ok ok I'm just going to moan for a minute as I wind myself down' vs the 'what the hell are you doing pick me up this minute' cry. If it's the latter we pick up again and over the shoulder again. I try not to re-feed her at this point. Once down again waves are on, we circle her back gently and shhh shhhhhing! And our white noise is loud!
She does occasionally wake about 4-5am and I bring her into bed with me for some more sleep!
I remember until she was about 6 months I fed her loads day and night and didn't think she'd ever be out of my bed. But I've always let her dictate when she's ready for changes...preferring an easy life! I knee CIO or sleep training wasn't an option for us. Just too distressing for all.
Don't forget then when your DD is eating solids she'll gradually take less milk and things change again!
You know your baby better than anyone...you're totally in tune with her and will just know when the time is right. Trust them instincts xx

All v useful, thank you. I'm sure this will be way forward for us ie when DD's ready for the next stage. One last question (promise!) - what white noise/music box do you use? Nothing I've found on itunes or youtube has fit the bill and I've had to send back two different mobiles as they broke..

No you're ok, don't apologise. Happy to help if I can. We use an old fav that I had for my son 8 years ago...a fisher price aquarium cot box thing. Choice of tunes or water and waves and it goes loud. You can still get them on ebay...around £10. The rainforest one is good too. Both have lights on which are nice but you can turn them off. We tried Ewan the dream sheep but nothing zones her out (and me!) like the waves xx

Ocean wonders aquarium, the round one x

Four months is a common growth spurt time and can cause sleep regression too, she will be upping your supply. Just when you think it will never pass, it will :)

kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurts/

It does sound like a growth spurt but we also swore by swaddling and white noise. For white noise the best thing was just static on the radio nice and loud or you can get an app or download an Mp3.

I don't have much to add other than I am going through the same thing with my EBF baby. He is nearly 5 months, but has been feeding 1-2 hourly at night for the last month or two. He has suffered badly with reflux, so has been waking up frequently in the night distressed with this, but I now think that has improved slightly with medications and this is now habit and the 4 month sleep regression thing combined.
Whilst I am all for feeding on demand and baby led - this is pushing me to the brink of what I can cope with and I am miserable. What makes it worse is that he will often go much much longer during the day without wanting to feed and even refusing when I offer.

Yep that's exactly it missingcaffeine, it's been going on for nearly two months with us so surely can't be growth spurt! It happens after her feed so a comfort habit. DD will go 3+ hours without a feed during the day, but not at night..

Hiya, same for us although DS is just 4 months. It gets me down as I really want to enjoy this stage as he's my last baby but I'm just too tired! I think I'll stick it out until 6 months and try some sleep training. He also completely refuses a bottle.

That's interesting Rainbow, does that mean you didn't have this with your other DC? As DD is PFB was wondering if I'd 'gone wrong' somewhere..

No I had similar with DC1 and it eventually got better with some sleep training at 6 months. DC 2 was naturally better and sorted himself out- he could easily be put down, only woke once or twice at night etc. still didn't sleep through until he was around 13 months though.
DC3 is just testing me! I know from experience it passes but it's so hard when you feel so tired and I keep thinking I'm just a bit rubbish at making sleepy children.

How did you get on last night? DS was snuffly so woke every 45 mins or so and was only settled by the boob. I managed about 3 hours sleep so am shattered today. I keep wondering how soon for sleep training as I can't carry on like this.

Sounds rough, I'm sorry. I'm not sure how last night went as I no longer look at the time in the night as I'd started obsessing over how many minutes it'd been since last wake-up. I think she fed (properly) four times, plus all the comfort suckling afterwards. I've also given up trying to resettle her any other way, just give her the boob and go back to sleep. I feel better in the morning but could just be psychologically fooled!

I thought I would post an update one month on following my original post in case it is of any help to others...

So DD (now almost 5 months) managed to give up her comfort nursing habit. It coincided with her first cold. She was so snuffly, I couldn't contemplate a night of bunged up attempts to suckle for either of our sakes. Every time she tried to suckle after a feed I gently unlatched her. She cried and complained a little but was so tired from her cold she quickly went to sleep. This went on for a couple of nights but by the third night she hardly protested and by the fourth she seemed to have forgotten!

She also suddenly started falling asleep much more quickly in the evenings and I was able to put her in the bedside crib (not possible since 2 weeks old).

She's still waking up every two hours but that's another story..

I couldn't see how the situation was ever going to change without a lot of pain, so I thought I'd post to say that things can change and quickly!

Oh and Tomkat if you see this, we got the Ocean Wonders cot box on ebay and it's a big hit! Shame Fisher Price don't make them anymore.

Sounds like 4 month sleep regression and probably a growth spurt too. My dd was just the same but unfortunately things got worse and worse on the sleep front from that point until about 7 months when we sleep trained. Some babies will get there on their own, others need things to change before they can sleep without comfort nursing. I agree that 4 months is too young too sleep train so you may have to stick it out for a little longer unfortunately. I hope things improve.

Hello, I realise you posted this a good few years ago but I have the exact same problem - my four month old co-sleeps with us. I try and get her down in her Next2Me cot, but she wakes up regularly for a comfort feed (we are EBF) and nothing else will comfort her but a feed. My goal is to get her sleeping in her Next2Me and also to be able to comfort herself with something other than a feed (dummy maybe?)