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Sleep

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Original poster

Are we bad parents?

38 replies

Firstimemummy15 · 06/02/2015 03:18

So my 2 weeks old will not settle in her crib at night. She will fall asleep on me so I wait a while, put her in crib, making sure the transition is smooth - crib not too cold for her, place a reassuring hand on her before I leave etc but she wakes with a startle about 5 mins after being in there. Anyway tonight we have let her sleep in her baby bouncer just to be able to get some sleep - this is very slightly upright, she is strapped in and has a blanket to keep her warm. Are there limits on how long she should spend in a bouncer?

OP posts:

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YokoUhOh · 07/02/2015 03:35

OP, you're getting some ridiculous advice on this thread, I'm really sorry :(

Co-sleeping is what humans did for millions of years before the Victorians started to invent stupid rules about babies being separate from their parents. Your beautiful 2 week old won't get 'spoilt' if she sleeps alongside you.

Breastfeeding every hour is Completely Normal. Hell, my 2.3 year old DS still chugs away at night. It's for such a short time in your life, don't let people make you feel bad for 'not getting it right'. Good luck and enjoy snuggles!

purplemunkey · 07/02/2015 05:11

The bf comment was absolute nonsense as everyone else has said. 1-2 hours is completely normal fir a two week old, her stomach is only about the size of a marble at the moment. My DD didn't like her basket for the first few weeks, every time she woke I took her in the bed with me. Its really lovely if you're happy to do it, otherwise, try swaddling, lots of cuddles to re-settle and just perservere!

RevoltingPeasant · 07/02/2015 08:21

Hi OP I'm in a very similar situation with pfb, so no real experience but I'll tell you what we're doing.

First of all DD wasn't putting on weight fast enough so although I wanted to bf exclusively, we are now doing formula top ups after every bf. Basically the MW said she needs extra and can't always get it for herself. So we bf, each side, then I express anything that's left and syringe it to her, and then make the amount up to the MW magic number of 15ml. As in, if I've expressed 10ml then she gets 5ml if formula on top in a syringe.

That is to help DD growth but I have noticed it also means she is only hungry every 3-4 hours do even if you are not having growth issues it may help. Could top up with EBM only if you don't want to use formula.

I cannot co sleep. Doesn't feel safe to me. Instead, we turned my pillow lengthwise and put DD alongside it, with a rolled up towel between her and the pillow so she can't come into contact with it, bit hard to explain but basically she sleeps by my head. The MW says what we are doing is safe. DD sleeps like this as I am near here, but I can sleep too as I cannot roll over on her.

Hope that helps.

miniHovis · 07/02/2015 08:31

I went through the same as coodlemoodle and Dd2 has a milk allergy. I let her sleep on me through the day of that's what she wanted and then at night it used to take 3 hours to get her settled in the crib, now at 5 months she is sleeping within 20 mins in her cot, I used to settle her in crib then when she woke for a feed I fed her and wrapped her up let her fall asleep on me then moved her to crib, it didn't always work and she spent many nights in bed with me, dh works away through the week so I Did what I had to to get through the night. it does eventually get easier

Ilikemashpotatoe · 07/02/2015 08:37

Maybe you could get her to sleep in the day in her crib? That way she will get used to it. I like the idea of curled up towel to make it snug and swaddling worked wonders with my ds. He had colic and we was unaware for a few weeks. He would also like to sleep upright and on my chest. It can be so difficult in the early days because you are tired and I completely understand not wanting to co sleep I was exactly the same. I think we propped up one side of the crib mattress aswell.

FastWindow · 07/02/2015 21:37

Sorry op. Poor form and I apologise. Hope you are enjoying your lovely new baby and she sleeps well for you.

Note to self - check post for idiocy before hitting send.

FastWindow · 07/02/2015 21:41

Actually I do have something helpful to add. I coslept with dd but I put her lengthways on a contoured pillow, you know the tempur foam type? She fit perfectly, couldn't roll off, was higher then me so no risk of squashing her (although I think as a mum you have a greatly heightened awareness of your baby and will wake if she even coughs or something, so being unaware of a small human under you is a bit unlikely) and she was super cosy and supported by the contours.

Hth x

FastWindow · 07/02/2015 21:43

Oh and bf her lying on my side was a doddle, as I could move the whole pillow with her on it to get into position. And mn at the same time

Sensethismakesnone · 07/02/2015 22:04

I was in the exact same situation as OP with my son. I was frightened of doing anything wrong and was scared shitless about cosleeping by the health visitor (I think they have to warn you of the risks associated but they really do make it sound terrifying). 2 weeks in of virtually no sleep my midwife ordered me to cosleep. OP maybe you could ask a midwife or health visitor to show you how to do it safely if it's something you're thinking of trying? It's better to do it planned and safely than nod off holding her by accident. We never looked back and at 3 months DS went happily into his own cot. Good luck, it does get easier, honest!

Katekoom · 08/02/2015 21:24

I think the same rules apply as with car seats (depending on how upright it is) 2 hours max.

Katekoom · 08/02/2015 21:27

Note: at 2 weeks your littleone will still be putting their milk supply request in. I dont think i put our dd down to sleep properly until week 3.

Try warming the matress with a hot water bottle (remove before putting baby down) and whitenoise.

Bicnod · 08/02/2015 21:40

OP my DD (DC3) is 4 weeks old. We co-slept for the first couple of weeks as she wouldn't settle any other way. We now have an NCT bednest which we hired for 6 months. It's like co-sleeping but she has her own space and is working really well for us. Might be worth considering?

Gennz · 09/02/2015 03:29

i would never co-sleep in a million years*, i would be so stressed about squashing DS, plus after a day of nerves jangled from a newborn i really wanted that large evening wine.

I feel for you OP, DS is only 11 weeks, but already the intense stress of the early weeks seems a long time ago thank god.

whay worked for us:

moses basket next to our bed;
warm wheat bag in moses basket immediately before we put DS in
dummies
swaddle - miracle blanket or merino kids swaddle sack
making sure he was warm enough. We realised the inexplicable 4am wake ups + only sleeping on us was due to temp dropping - added a wool blanket & merino onesie & they stopped.

*that said, this is being typed one handed as DS takes his afternoon sleep on me...

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