baby whisperer

[moljam]

anyone tried it.im desperate to sleep.ds is 10 months.i dont want to do cc.what does it involve?

Hi there, it's me Difers - I had that book 1st but didn't get on with it as it advocates picking baby up if they and then putting them down and then picking them up again if they cry. It is a form of modified CC. I feel that the book is a bit judgemental and the Hogg woman also advocates dummies for babies which I also disagree with so it wasn't my cup of tea and I didn't have much faith in her style. Fine for nannies and bottle fed babies probably. Worth a read though for comparsion as some themes are similar and she doesn't beleive in actually letting the baby cry either.

You've got the NCSS book? on page 211, Pantley describes a "Temperate version to letting them cry it out" I've given this a slight go, well the tip 3 and 4 and things do seem to be getting better. But at the end of the day you do need a solution and if the Baby Whisperer works for you then give it a go!!!!

thanks difers.ds is bottlefed as after 5/6 weeks i was unable to bf.think will have read and see what bits i like and what bits i dont.if i dont agree with it,atleast i can say ive read it!

Luckily our baby sleeps well, fingers crossed touch wood but I just thought I would put in my tuppence happenny about the Baby Whisperer.

I hated it, thought it was judgemental, confusing and some of the advice just conflicted itself. My baby is 6.5 mths old and its taken me until a couple of months ago to understand what his cries mean.

I have heard good things about the No Cry Sleep Solution. Hope whatever route you go down works for you.

mol - I looked at it and various other parenting books and took bits form each to kinda do my own thing iycwim - seems to be doing OK. go with your instinct I think.

If you decide totry it,get the 2ndbook "The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems". It deals with older babys much more than the first one. Like someone elsesaid we read it and just used the bits that felt right/made sense to us.

At 10months iirc you generally only do the PD down partof PU/PD as the is too stimulating/distracting.

I think the difference between Tracys methods and CC is that the you teach the baby to sleepon their own while staying with them(at least initially) so they don't feel abandoned. It can take a fewdays to work though.

sorry that shouldbe "the PU part is too stimulating/distracting"

i love the Baby Whisperer- the advice is good for younger babies but like everything it won't all work for you. What exactly is your babies routine and what are the sleep problems you are having?

I used the 2nd baby Whisperer book for my first DS. I found it a real help at the start when I really felt like I didnt know what I was doing. Especially the breast feeding part and the routine part.

Like others have said though, I picked the bits that worked for me. Didnt want to use dummies so ignored that part, used the shhh pat and swaddling advice and that really helped.

When DS started to have probs sleeping at prob about the same time (when we tried to get him to fall asleep without his lullaby on the monitor) I found the pick up put down didnt help. Just kept him awake and wanting to play.

Like all these so called experts, they dont know you and they dont know your baby so can only help so much.

Must admit I resorted to controlled crying (or a form of it) and now DS sleeps really well (he had done before but had some rough patches) and he and I are a lot happier.

Hope you find something that works for you.xxx

thanks everyone.now more confused.if pu pd doesnt work for 10 month old what other advice does it offer?i know it works for some but really dont want to do cc.he was sleeping 2 x 2 hour naps a day then 7 to 7 but a couple of months ago stopped.he now is like this-maybe half hour nap in day ,bed at 7 but up every 2 or 3 hours from 11 pm onwards.get up at 6am.please dont say its normal and get on with it!i think hes tething so thats probably disturbing him.

Hi Moljam - sorry you're having a hard time. I have TH's book and like Munz used PUPD (or my own modified version) when I transferred DD from my bed to her cot at 3 mths.

My version was: bath, story, bottle, cuddles (in the dark), then lay in the cot. She normally wouldn't cry straight away so I would go out, let her cry for about 30 seconds and then come back in, PUPD. I never left her to cry longer than a minute. If she woke in the middle of the night I just went straight in and did PUPD sometimes for an hour at a time every few hours. It did work for me on and off but it was very labour intensive!

The biggest change for me came at around 10 mths actually. A lovely Mum I met was gobsmacked that I actually got up every time she cried, straight away, every night! She persuaded me to try at least one night where I didn't get up straight away (the 1am wakings are the worst!).

So I tried it and it was awful - I lay there in the dark close to tears myself. I had NEVER left her to cry in the middle of the night before. But it really wasn't that bad - she'd start to cry, reach a crescendo and then down to a whimper and then back to sleep - all within the space of about a minute.

It made the world of difference. I'm not a big fan of these babycare books and like Munz I discarded a lot of what TH said about dummies etc. But I think she said sometimes crying is just a way of putting themselves to sleep and to wait to see if it's that or if it's a calling for you kind of cry. I didn't realise that I was probably waking her up but going into her and I should give her a chance to settle herself.

I think you should give PUPD a go - give it a week and see if it makes a difference. I would say that 10 mths is quite big to be picking them up all the time (you'll give yourself a bad back) so try rubbing her back/stroking her hair at first and see if that does the trick.

There's no magic solution - my DD does still cry in the night (she's 2 nxt month) but now when I go into her room she almost always lies back down and waits for me to stroke her hair! We do have bad nights sometimes, mostly when she's ill but then I lie with her on the bed next to her cot. If she's crying when she's been put to bed, I just say "time to sleep" and stand by her cot until she quietens down.

Anyway, I've written a bloomin' essay - I hope some of its helpful. Keep your chin up and let us know how you get on xx

I had the same problem with my DS, but when he was slightly older. His nap bacame shorter (he has only ever had one a day) and he started to have probs going to sleep and then staying.

I tried putting him to bed an hour later and it made all the difference. He seemed to be getting too much sleep and his nap is such a help that I didnt want to give it up. He started sleeping better and for longer again.

By the way. I actually did what Cash did, but it felt like CC (the real version must feel awful). But instead of picking him up, I would go and lie him back down (he kept getting to his feet) then walk out of the room, stand there til he had got up again, wait afew moments then go back and lie him down. Then repeat til he was so tired, he fell asleep. It did feel awful but only lasted afew nights, then it became easier and easier if he woke up in the night too.

Dont get me wrong, DS still wakes sometimes in the night, especially when teething. But often, by the time I have heaved my pregnant body out of bed to get to him (which can take a while!) he is often asleep again. I think most people, even those who say that their child is a good sleeper have to get up in the night when their DC cries sometime.

Dont know if that has helped at all. I have sleep deprevation from the unborn child now as well who cant seem to keep still at night!

I did controlled crying with my 2 eldest - worked a treat after 2 or 3 nights and also used it in middle of night with DD (2nd baby) They didn't actually cry for all that long

With DS2 who is 14 mths now, I followed Baby whisperer EASY routine which worked fab for us - not on timings but just by letting him play after a feed and then after a while, deciding he must be tired and he usually was! To get him to go to sleep in his cot, I stood beside him and patted his back and after a few nights, he just sorted himself out and now sleeps beautifully at night and for naps.

Don't know how much that helps - I would say choose a method you like and then be positive about it and persistent!